Strawberry Panic: New Beginnings
by piper5381
Summary: 4 years after the death of their daughter, Nagisa and Shizuma decide to take in another child with the possibility of adopting her. The child knows none of this as she is against anything family related. Her own past tragedies turned her off to the idea, but what happens when two parents who want nothing more than a child come together with another who may need them just a much?
1. Chapter 1

**This is what happens when I sit down and watch a marathon on Strawberry Panic for the umpteenth time xD**

Chapter One: A New Beginning

People say that when one door closes, another one opens…that there is always a reason for everything.

"_But what was the reason for that?_"

Shizuma often found herself asking this question in regards to the passing of her and Nagisa's six year old daughter four years before. It had been a terrible accident, the young Sayuri, who was a spitting image of Nagisa, having been hit by a drunk driver and killed instantly. This left the married couple completely devastated, and to this day, they still couldn't forget the split second moment where their little girl was suddenly gone for good, especially Shizuma.

"_I was so close…so close._"

On that fateful day, Shizuma had seen the car heading for her daughter and wasted no time in running to her side, but the car was faster, and even though the woman had almost reached her, she hadn't been close enough to pull her to safety.

"_They say it wasn't my fault, but…_"

She blamed herself for the longest time. A mother was supposed to protect her child, so why couldn't she protect her? Sayuri was so young and innocent…she didn't deserve to die.

"_So then why was she taken from us?_"

It took a lot of talking, crying, support, and love from her wife and friends to pull her from the mindset that the girl's death was her fault. Now, although a small part of her still feels to blame, another part knows that, in raising Sayuri, she and Nagisa did their best in what little time they had together.

As time went on, pain turned into memory, and soon enough, their hearts opened up to the idea of another child. With Shizuma not really interested in insemnation herself and carrying, and after Nagisa suffered a lot of pregnancy problems carrying Sayuri, they decided to foster and hopefully adopt.

"_But how will I be? Can I care for her properly? Can I become a mother again? Can I protect her?_"

"Shizuma?"

Green eyes met with the dark pink ones at the sound of her name being called. Shizuma, who had been standing by the window in a green halter top and back skirt, glared over at the other with a small smile.

"Hey you."

Nagisa, who had been sporting a very cute red top and a tan skirt, smiled back, walking over and falling into Shizuma's warm embrace.

"My Nagisa." She whispered as she held her, a blush growing on the younger woman's face. Even after sixteen years of knowing each other, nine of them married ones, hearing those sweet words still made her go red in the cheeks.

"Are you all right?" Nagisa asked.

"Yeah…just thinking."

Nagisa nuzzled into the woman's chest, her own thoughts reeling as well.

"You nervous about today?"

Shizuma let out a small sigh, her hand gently rubbing her wife's back.

"A little. It'll be different. You?"

"I am, too, but…at the same time, I'm excited. I've missed having a child around…"

Both of them were silent for a moment, their minds on the past and on what the day would bring.

"She wouldn't want us sad you know…she was always such a happy kid."

"She was." Shizuma said back. They were both very much ready for another child and would love on this newcomer very much, but the past did still hurt them a bit.

"Should we tell her about…"

"No. I don't think so." Shizuma replied. "At least not yet. We should let her settle in a while first."

"Yeah…" Nagisa said back. "True."

The two remained silent again, taking comfort in each other's warmth. After a few minutes, Nagisa looked up at the other, both gazes meeting again as Nagisa stroked her cheek.

"You sure you're ready for this?"

Taking the woman's stroking hand in her own and holding it gently, she nodded.

"Yeah, I am. I know no one can ever replace Sayuri. She will always be our little girl, but I really do want another child. I love being a mom…"

Nagisa smiled.

"Me, too. You think she'll wanna stay in the end? You saw how stubborn she was when we first met her last month."

Shizuma had to smile a bit at this, remembering that day very well.

"She was, wasn't she." The woman replied. "For a ten year old, she was full of a lot of spunk. You could tell through her stubbornness she was interested though. I guess we will have to wait and see. It might be best to not mention the possibly of adopting her either, at least until she is fully settled and comfortable."

Nagisa agreed with this. She knew the new girl had a bit of a past and wanted her to be comfortable with both her and Shizuma first.

"You know…it's going to be all right." The young woman told the other. Even though Shizuma was over blaming herself for the past incident, she knew a small part of her still felt guilty. "We're gonna do this and it's all going to be all right. Whatever we experience, we'll face it together. I'll always be by your side."

The silver haired woman blushed slightly.

"You have always been by my side and I couldn't be happier…and I shall always be by yours."

After kissing her wife's finger tips, she leaned in and kissed Nagisa's lips.

"I love you." She whispered.

"I love you, too." Nagisa whispered back, a gentle look of love and warmth on her face.

_-Honk honk-_

Both women looked out of the window to find a grey car sitting in their driveway.

"Well, looks like she's here." Nagisa said with a smile. "You ready?"

After taking a deep breath, she placed her hand into Nagisa's and smiled back.

"Ready."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: The Arrival

"_This is all your fault."_

_ "But I-"_

_ "None of this would have happened if it weren't for you!"_

_ "I didn't mean to-"_

_ "My life would have been better if you weren't born!"_

"Yuki!"

The ten year old snapped awake, slightly disorientated as she looked around. When she caught the eye of the woman beside her, her mind seemed to calm, snapping back into reality.

"_It was just a dream_." She told herself, flopping back against the seat of the grey car she had been riding in. "_Just that same stupid dream._"

"You were muttering in your sleep. Are you all right?"

The girl turned away from the golden-haired female, her gaze switching to the scenery outside. Now, most would find her rude for doing this, but Kira, her social worker, was very much used to this act and paid it no mind.

"You've been out cold for a good half hour. We're actually close to your new place."

Yuki still said nothing, her eyes glued to the passing city. She wasn't looking forward to this placement at all so she sure as hell didn't want to talk about it.

"They seem really nice you know. They were really interested in you that day and are excited to take you in. I think you're gonna like it there."

"You say that about every placement you throw me in." Yuki muttered. She had been an orphan since she was six, and, according to Kira, the last five foster homes she had been in she was apparently going to like, and did she? No. So why would this be any different?

"_Well, they did catch your eye the first day you met them_."

She silently cursed at the voice in the back of her mind.

"Yuki…don't be like this."

"I can be however I want. You know it's true. I've never liked any of the placements I have been in."

Kira let out a sigh.

"Look. I know life before the orphanage was not great at all. And I know you haven't had much luck with foster families either, but you can't go into every placement thinking it's going to end badly."

"Why not when they always do?"

"Because not every adult is the same. Not every adult is out there to hurt you. You have a family out there somewhere just for you, and I'm not going to stop looking until I find them. Who knows, maybe this one is it."

Yuki just sighed and shook her head. Due to her lack of sleep the night before and due to the fail nap in the car, she was tired and not in the mood to argue. She hated the whole "you'll find a family" speech and just learned to ignore it at this point simply because it was a bunch of bull. She had a family once upon a time before being dumped into the system, but that story…

"And if you want to get technical, you are the one who agreed to be placed there, so that tells me you **will **like it."

Now this pulled Yuki from her quiet mood.

"I did not! That woman tricked me!"

Kira burst out into laughter, which only angered the child more.

"Stop laughing! It was her fault! They were both crazy!"

"If you say so." She said teasingly. "I saw that look on your face when they left."

"I had no look! Baka!"

Kira just laughed again, shaking her head.

"I think that woman was brilliant if you ask me. What I can't get over is how much you look like her."

This comment actually took her mind off of the anger for a moment, the events of that day one month ago now passing through. In all honesty, she couldn't believe the resemblance either.

"_How does that even happen?_" she asked herself, that moment now playing in her head. It was visiting day for those who were looking to foster, and before she got a chance to run and hide, she was dragged to Kira's office to interview with a family that was looking. When she walked in, she saw that the couple consisted of two women, both of them very pretty (though she would never admit that out loud). One had red hair and dark pink eyes while the other…

"_Ne…Shizuma! She looks just like you!"_

_ Yuki grumpily sat in the office chair, arms crossed over her chest as the three seated woman gawked at her._

_ "What am I? Some side show freak? Quit staring at me!"_

_ "I'm sorry." The red head said meekly. "I just wasn't expecting that, you know?"_

_ To tell the truth, Yuki wasn't expecting it either, and as she stared at the taller woman again, she found herself picking out the similarities more._

_ "Same silver hair, though mine is shorter than hers, same green eyes, even some similar facial features. Weird. And-"_

_ Her thoughts came to a sudden standstill for a moment when their eyes suddenly met, the woman's gaze expressive and deep._

_ "It's almost like…she can see right through me." She thought. "Like she can see right into my soul."_

_ That was uncomfortable. She didn't need anyone seeing right through her as she took pride in her privacy and guarded her secrets well, especially the secrets of her old life. She even made a point to tell Kira that no new placement was ever allowed to know the details of her past unless she herself shared them, and since that would never happen…_

_ "I said stop staring." She finally told the other, looking away with a blush. Weird thing to say when she was the one who started staring at this woman in the first place._

_ "Yuki…" Kira started. "This is Nagisa and Shizuma Hanazono. Ladies, this is Yuki Himeko."_

_ "Hi, Yuki-chan!" Nagisa greeted happily while holding her hand out. "It's nice to meet you!"_

_ Yuki just looked at the hand and yawned, leaning back further into her chair. Kira gave that "be polite" look, but the girl just shrugged it off, tucking her hands into the pocket of her grey sweatshirt._

_ "Uh…" Nagisa said awkwardly, pulling her hand back. "Well, um, how is your day going so far?"_

_ Yuki still said nothing, not really interested in conversing at the moment._

_ "The Hanazono's are looking to foster a girl." Kira told her. "I thought you were the perfect candidate. I told them all about you and they wanted to meet you."_

_ Yuki snickered at this, tucking some of her medium length hair behind her ear._

_ "You told them I was the perfect candidate? And here I thought you knew me…"_

_ "Well, we really are glad to meet you." Nagisa told her with a smile, getting excited._

_ "Ok…"_

_ "Mhm! Really glad! And we both really love kids and look forward to taking one in!"_

_ "Uh huh…has anyone ever told you that you seem just a little too happy?"_

_ Nagisa blushed at this._

_ "Well, I…I can't help it. Like I said, I am really glad I can meet you."_

_ "Right…"_

_ Shizuma, who had been quiet the whole time, eyed the girl curiously as the others spoke. While most adults were turned off by this attitude, she was intrigued. She knew Nagisa wasn't bothered by it either. In fact, they received a warning about this before it even started. Prior to this meeting, Kira had pulled them aside and briefed them on how she would be. They were told she had a past that only the girl could tell as it was very personal and something she didn't want the world to know. She also said that, despite being hard to get through, she really did want a family. Kira had known her long enough to know this fact. Yuki wanted what every other kid did, but her trust level was so low she'd never let herself have it. No family has been able to get through to her, the girl therefore never getting adopted. It was a heart breaking thing for her and Nagisa to hear, but at the same time, at least to Shizuma, it was a challenge…and she did love a good challenge._

_ "So, I take it you're not interested in staying with us?" Shizuma suddenly asked, all eyes now on her. _

_ "Not really."_

_ "Well, that's a shame. We'd really love having you."_

_ "Such a shame." Yuki replied sarcastically. "I don't need a family, ok? I can take care of myself, so this meeting is just a waste of your time."_

_ "Oh there's no doubt in the fact that you can care for yourself." Shizuma replied. "You seem like you can. And you don't need a family, huh? Let me guess, they're a pain to deal with, right?"_

_ "Absolutely."_

_ "And I take it you're not a hugger?"_

_ "No way."_

_ "Snuggles and kisses?"_

_ "Definitely not!"_

_ "I don't know…I think I could get you into all of that."_

_ Yuki cocked a single eye brow when she heard this. She had no idea where this was going, but she sure as hell wasn't giving into it._

_ "You could not."_

_ "Yes I could. I think I could turn you into the biggest hugger and snuggle bug out there."_

_ The young girl snickered._

_ "You're seriously crazy if you think that."_

_ "You think I'm wrong?"_

_ "Of course."_

_ "Wanna make a bet?"_

_ Up until now, Nagisa had been quite confused at what Shizuma was trying to do. After all, they were trying to bring a kid home, not agree with their reasons to stay away, but as soon as those four little words came out, it all clicked, Nagisa having seen this before._

_ "Only you, Shizuma." She thought, slightly amused. "Only you."_

_ At hearing the question, Yuki smirked. She loved a good challenge herself and never backed down on one, and this one she knew she could easily win._

_ "A bet?"_

_ "Yes. I bet that within three months, I'll have you asking for hugs, and in six months I'll have you snuggling."_

_ "And I bet that you are going to fail miserably at both of these tasks. You could never get me to do any of that crap."_

_ "Oh really? Well then, I guess we shall see."_

_ "I guess we shall."_

_ After, Shizuma stood up and looked at Kira with a victorious smile._

_ "Well, now that we are all in agreement, is taking her next month good?"_

_ "It's perfect!" Kira said back._

_ "Wait, what?" Yuki asked, suddenly confused. "All in agreement? I never agreed to-"_

_ "You just said you bet I couldn't get you to hug and snuggle, right?"_

_ "Well, y-yes…I-"_

_ "And I bet that I could."_

_ "I know, and-"_

_ "So, in order to see who wins that bet, you would have to come and stay with us, correct?"_

_ Yuki sat their dumbfounded, just __**now**__ taking in what had really just happened. Kira had picked up on Shizuma's game quickly, the woman trying hard not to laugh. She knew that with Yuki's competitive nature, she would fall right for it. Even Nagisa had issues keeping her smirk hidden. Poor Yuki was the only one oblivious from the start, but now…_

_ "You…you tricked me!"_

_ Kira lost control at this point, bursting right out into laughter, trying to hide it again seconds after._

_ "Tricked you?" Shizuma asked. "My dear, we wouldn't dream of tricking you, would we Nagisa?"_

_ "Not at all!" she chimed. "Oh Yuki, we are going to have so much fun!"_

_ "But…I…"_

_ "I agree!" Shizuma added. "And since the school year is around the corner, you will have a new school! Trust me, you'll love it there. It is the same one Nagisa attended before transferring into the one I used to attend."_

_ "But-"_

_ "That's right! She will! And we will have her for the summer and during Christmas, too! This means we can spoil her!"_

_ "What? No way! You-"_

_ "I bet she will look really cute in her school uniform." Shizuma added._

_ "I won't! Will you-"_

_ "She will!" Nagisa piped in. "I think she will look adorable in anything though. Imagine if she stayed with us even longer. If she did, we could send her to St Miator's! We could-"_

_ "Stop!"_

_ Yuki stood up from her seat, a series of gawking noises and squeaks escaping her system._

_ "K-kira!" she shouted, still in shock from all of this happening so quickly. "You seriously can't be considering…this!"_

_ Kira threw her hands into the air._

_ "I'm not considering. It's already decided. They want to take you in Yuki, and I am not going to say no."_

_ "But-"_

_ "Hey now…"_

_ Before Yuki had a chance to react, Shizuma was right in front of her, the woman's hand under the girl's chin. After gently lifting it, their eyes locked, a huge blush now on the ten year olds face._

_ "Wh-what…what is she doing?" Yuki asked herself. She could have easily moved, but somehow, just from the woman's gaze, she found she couldn't._

_ "Don't worry so much." Shizuma told her softly, a gentle motherly tone clear in her voice. "You're going to be just fine here. You'll enjoy it, I promise…"_

_ That motherly tone was hitting her hard, the warm gaze even harder…something she was definitely not expecting. Her heart rejected it immediately, but at the same time…_

_ "Trust me, Yuki-chan, it's going to be all right."_

_ "But I-"_

_ "Shhh…just trust me…"_

"We're here!"

Yuki snapped back from her thoughts once more when the horn went off, nearly groaning when she saw they were pulling into the drive way.

"Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes, you do."

"But this whole thing is going to suck."

"Yuki, really?"

Turning off the car, she leaned back in her seat and sighed.

"You really need to stop thinking like that. This isn't going to suck."

Yuki said nothing in return, the girl simply sighing and looking back out the window.

"You know, I really think this is going to be great for you, and you can sit there and think "you say that every time" all you want, but it's true. Let me ask you something. Out of all the families who you have interviewed with, how many wanted to take you even after seeing that attitude of yours?"

Yuki's heart clenched a little, her eyes falling to the floor.

"You have been into five different foster homes since you were six, and all of them were my choosing with no interviews between you and the guardians. The amount of **actual** interviews you have had is much higher than that, and I know because I have been to every one of them. I also know that in each one, you give attitude and push them back just like you did last month, but out of every single one, what family still wanted you when the interview was over?"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she brought her gaze back up and out the window.

"This one…"

"Exactly. They see so much good and love in you like I do and want to give you a chance. You should give them a chance, too. Now come on."

With that, Kira got out of the car, Yuki unmoving as she was still stuck on the woman's words. She was right. She had gone through many interviews in the past, and at every one she purposely caused trouble, leaving her untaken in the end. Her attitude with Nagisa and Shizuma was no different, however, unlike the previous families, they wanted to take her in regardless of how she was.

"_Even though I still think they tricked me…I just don't get it though. It worked on everyone else, why didn't it work on them?"_

She didn't understand it.

"_Well I don't care what she says. This stay is going to suck and it won't last, I know it._"

But then why, despite thinking this, did she hope she was wrong?

"_Trust me…_"

Shizuma's gaze and warm voice suddenly made its way back into Yuki's mind, her heart freezing as she remembered. It had caused her heart to flicker in a way it hadn't in a long time. Could this finally be her break? Could she really find a family in Shizuma and Nagisa?

**Thank you to those who reviewed already and I hope you like it so far! How will Yuki react to this place? What happened in her past that scared her so much and made her an orphan? Keep reading to find out!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: New Home

"I take it she still isn't happy about this?"

Standing a few feet away from the car, Shizuma, Nagisa, and Kira eyed the young female who had yet to leave the vehicle.

"It's…difficult for her." Kira told them. "Moving to a new place always is. As you both saw, she is not very family orientated."

"Poor examples from other homes?" Shizuma asked.

"Well, some of the foster homes became a little rough towards the end, resulting in no one wanting to keep her because she is a little hard to get through to. She has always had a hard time with family. Being sent back each time hasn't helped her confidence either."

"It's terrible that no one would want her because she is hard to reach." Nagisa said sadly. "Just because someone has issues getting through to another doesn't mean you should give up on them."

"I agree." Kira said back. "It seems that people these days want to foster or adopt the perfect child, in turn leaving the troubled ones feeling unworthy and without families."

"And that's so wrong." Nagisa replied. "Just because a child isn't perfect to them doesn't mean they are not perfect at all. Every child is wonderful in their own way. So what if they are a little rough round the edges. That doesn't mean they are bad and don't deserve to be loved. Love is what they need more than anything."

"It is, though trying to convince her of that isn't an easy task."

"You mentioned that, not only is it because of past foster homes, but that a lot of how she is has to do with her life prior to becoming an orphan, correct?"

"Yes…it was a very rough time. I really wish I could tell you, but she made me promise not to share it unless she does so herself."

"That's understandable." Shizuma said back.

"I mean, if you can get her to share it, then hats off to you. You'd be the first. I've been with her since the incident and she hasn't told a soul. I really hope that one day she can. They maybe she can finally let it go."

The three remained silent for a moment, eyes once again on the little girl.

"_I wonder what happened that hurt her so much._" Shizuma thought.

"By the way, if you don't mind me asking, have you two decided to tell her your story?"

Shizuma nodded.

"We have. For now, we've decided to not tell her about Sayuri."

"Not that we want to keep secrets!" Nagisa added. "It's just…we're worried that if she knows too early, she might try and compare herself to her and think she's not good enough if she isn't exactly like her. We also don't want her to think she is cared for less either."

"I think waiting is a wise idea." Kira replied. "I know her thought process and she would think just that if you told her now. As sad as it is, I have seen people send back kids because, according to them, they aren't as good or as smart or anything like their birth children."

"Really?" Nagisa asked, her heart breaking a little. "How could anyone do that? Each child has their own uniqueness to them and parents need to love them just as they are."

"And Yuki is definitely unique, in a good way." Shizuma added. "There is just something about her that makes me want to get to know her more."

Kira smiled as she listened.

"Hearing that coming from you two is comforting. I have interviewed some good families in the past, but no one has had the mindset you two have in regards to her. They were more interested in trying to change her right away rather than getting to know her, saying things like "we'll turn her into this" or "we'll make her like that" and so on."

"We don't want to turn her into anything." Nagisa replied. "We just want her to be happy. She deserves to be. We are going to give her so much loving she won't even know what to do with herself! I know that might sound a little much so quickly, but…kids are all loveable. There is no set period to wait before giving them some love."

Kira smiled again, touched at how sincere the two were.

"Amen to that. Speaking of, you mentioned you were interested in adopting when I first met you. You really think you'll keep her?"

The couple looked at each other before returning the smile.

"We sure would like to." Nagisa answered. "We're definitely not the type to send her back because she is hard to reach. We'll do our best to work with her and be there in the best way we can."

"That's wonderful to know." Kira said back, relived Yuki would truly be safe.

"Just one thing though." Shizuma added. "Could you not mention anything about that to her? We would like her to get truly settled in and comfortable with us before bringing that up."

"I won't say a word." She told them. "I really do hope this all works out. Anyways, ready to see her?"

"Yes!" Nagisa said excitedly, and with that, they all headed down to meet her.

* * *

Back in the car, Yuki was still lost in her own thoughts, Kira's words unable to leave her mind.

"_Out of every single one, what family still wanted you when the interview was over._"

Reaching behind the seat, she grabbed her black backpack and held it tightly to her chest, sinking down a little.

"_It doesn't make sense. I'm always mean during interviews, so why did this family want me anyways when the other ones didn't? Not to mention, that damn woman even tricked me into agreeing, but why? I don't understand…"_

This was the very first time a family had taken her in despite her rudeness during the interview process, so she wasn't entirely sure how to feel. What she did know was that she wasn't going to be all nice to them because of it. She planned on giving them a very hard time.

"_I have to…and fast. That Nagisa is way too happy for her own good. I can't let that weirdness rub off on me. And Shizuma…that look…_"

She couldn't forget how deep those eyes were or the sincerity that flowed through them. And that warmth…

-_Tap tap tap-_

Snapping from her thoughts, she looked up and found Kira standing by the window. She nodded her head towards the couple beside her and beckoned her to come out. Knowing she had no choice, the girl rolled her eyes and unhappily opened the door. As she stepped out, a cool late afternoon spring breeze hit her face, causing her to tuck some of her silver locks behind her ear.

"Yuki, say hello."

Slipping on her backpack, she looked up at the two familiar faces, both sporting soft gazes and happy smiles.

"Hello, Yuki." Shizuma greeted. "It's nice to see you again."

Now, the nice thing to do would have been to reply back, but Yuki was so not feeling nice. So instead, she simply crossed her arms over her chest and looked away.

"Hmph."

….

"Kawaiiiiiiii!"

-_Glomp _-

"You're so adorable! I'm so happy you're finally here!"

With her head turned away, she had failed to see the red head literally leap out and hug her, the action taking the ten year old off guard.

"Wh-what are you-"

"This is so great! I can't wait till-"

"Get off!"

Pushing Nagisa away, she took a step back.

"What's your issue? What was that all about?!"

"What?" Nagisa asked. "I was just so happy that you were finally here that I had to hug you."

"Well don't! You know I hate them! And you!"

She glared at Shizuma.

"That doesn't count towards the bet because I didn't willingly hug anyone! And Kira! Stop laughing!"

The social worker was almost in tears, the reaction the girl had given priceless.

"What's the matter? " Shizuma asked innocently. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes! You better damn well believe something in wrong!"

"Aww Yuki, you're blushing!" Kira teased. "Did you like it that much?"

"Baka!"

The red faced girl was angry, embarrassed, and flustered all at once.

"Oh Yuki." Kira said, wiping some tears away as her laughter died down. "All right, all right. I see you're good here. I'd stay a little longer but it's already after four, so I'll let you go get settled in."

"You're so going to pay for this." Yuki told her.

"You be good and have fun." Kira said back with a smirk. "And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"I hate you right now."

"And I'll miss you, too." Kira replied.

"Thank you, Kira!" Nagisa called. "Have a safe trip back!"

"Yes, thank you." Shizuma said, suddenly slipping her arms around Yuki's waist from behind, the girl blushing deeply again. "Have no worries, she's in safe hands."

"Oh I have no worries at all." Kira told them, suppressing another laugh. "Have a good time, Yuki!"

"Baka!"

If only she knew what she was in for.

* * *

After freaking out at her two new guardians for the second hug, she followed them into their house. Now, she had to admit, the outside was pretty, the house all blue with a little yard out front, but on the inside…

"_Wow…_" she thought to herself, temporarily forgetting her anger. The inside was even better, a rose like smell surrounding her.

"This is the living room." Shizuma told her, slightly amused at the girls' awe. "Over here is the kitchen. And over there…"

The two women brought her through their household, showing the dining room, where the two closets were, the bathroom, and a room that held the most beautiful all black piano she had ever seen.

"What do you think so far?" Nagisa asked, the three stopping at the bottom of a staircase.

"It's average." Yuki said simply, a "not caring" look on her face. Of course that was a lie because she actually loved how the place looked, especially the room with the piano.

"There's one more room to show you." Shizuma told her. "It's right up the stairs."

Secretly wanting to see more, she began walking up, but half way there, they passed a window, a certain image in the distance catching her eye. Stepping closer, she saw was looked to be the top of a cathedral peeking up above the trees.

"Astrea Hill." She heard Nagisa say, the woman's face now next to Yuki's. The girl blushed a little at the closeness, but didn't move, curiosity taking over.

"What?"

"Astrea Hill." She said again with a smile. "Home of three wonderful schools. Lulim, Spica, and St. Miator's. It's at St. Miator that Shizuma and I actually work."

Yuki turned her head back to face the silver haired woman, Shizuma nodding and smiling in return.

"That's right. Nagisa teaches middle school English and I teach high school French. The two of us actually attended there as well, Nagisa transferring in during my final year."

The two women smiled at each other as they thought back on those days. It was the first time the two had met, and though the year had its ups and downs, everything was worth it in the end, the two as happy as can be.

"However," Shizuma continued. "Nagisa and I took the year off."

"You did?" Yuki asked. "Why?"

"For you of course!"

The girl blushed at this.

"Wait…what?"

"For you." Nagisa replied, a warm smile on her face. "Being teachers there, we are often back and forth between work and home. Not that we mind of course, but in knowing that a child was going to be staying with us, we wanted to be here fully for a while so we could spend time and get to know you."

"But…I'm only here until after Christmas…"

"We know…" Shizuma replied. "But there is always that off chance of you wanting to stay longer, so we took the year."

Yuki's blushed deepened.

"_Seriously?_"

Two women who were practically strangers decided to take a year off from their work to spend time with her, the kid who had been nothing but rude to them from the start?

"_That doesn't make sense either. Why would they…_"

Starting to feel slightly uncomfortable due to the sudden growth of warmth in her heart, she turned away from them, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Stay longer? Y-yeah right…There's no way I'd want that!"

The two women giggled lightly at this, Shizuma now walking past her.

"Is that so? I guess we'll have to see. Come along then."

Continuing up, she followed them until they reached the top, the three stopping in the hallway between two doors.

"Over here is our room, and right across from us…"

She opened the door right in front of them.

"Welcome to your new room my dear."

Yuki's eyes widened a bit as she stepped inside.

"We had it redone a little when we found out you'd be staying." Shizuma told her. "Kira said your favorite color is purple, right?"

Yuki just nodded. Purple, which happened to be the color of the sweatshirt she was wearing, was definitely her favorite. It also happened to be the theme of her room. Everything from the curtains to her blankets to the soft rug beneath her bare feet was decorated in the beautiful violet hue.

"You like?" Nagisa asked.

"It's…ok." Yuki answered, her own voice her betraying her slightly due to the fact that she absolutely loved it.

"Well, we're glad that you find it "ok." Shizuma told her with an amused smirk. "Anyways, we'll go ahead and let you get settled. Do you need anything?"

"No…"

Well, if you do, let us know." Shizuma replied, and with that, the two let her be.

The moment the door was shut, Yuki walked over to the bed and sat on it, plopping the bag beside her.

"_It's so soft…_" she thought, rubbing her hand over the covers gently. Looking up, she took this moment to inspect her room a little more. Along with her own bed, she had a nightstand, a dresser, a desk with a lamp and a computer, and a bookcase piled with different books.

"_This is really nice…and they're really nice to me, too."_

She let her mind wander back to the hugging incident outside.

"_I hate hugging. It's so weird. I don't even like it when people touch me, but then…"_

She placed her hand over her heart.

"_Why did it feel so warm?_"

Yuki was not someone you touched. She was not fond of any form of affection and generally got mad if anyone attempted to do so.

"_So then…why did those hugs almost feel…good? I-_"

Yuki snapped from her thoughts and quickly looked behind her.

"What the…"

She thought she heard something move, a real quick flash of something accompanying the sound, but when she didn't see anything, she simply shrugged.

"Weird…oh well."

With a sigh, she flopped back on the bed and closed her eyes.

"Ne…I really am going crazy. Seeing things, thinking I may have actually liked their hugs. Snap out of it."

She couldn't be getting all weird on day one.

"Whatever."

Pushing the event out of her mind, she opened her eyes and went to sit up. She had unpacking to do after all. However, as she opened then, she found her own locked onto a pair of deep black ones.

"You're cute when you talk to yourself, you know that?"

A very shocked Yuki opened her mouth to speak, but the sudden presence of a young girl's face inches away from her own caused nothing but squeaks to leave her.

"Yuki-chan's pictures were pretty, but you're even prettier in person."

….

"Kyaaaaa!"

Jetting from her room, she sped downstairs and literally ran into Shizuma from running so fast.

"What's wrong?"

A red faced Yuki pointed upstairs.

"A thing…"

"A thing?" Nagisa asked, slightly confused.

"In my room. There is a thing in my room."

"What kind of thing?" Shizuma questioned.

"Hello Aunt Shizuma! Aunt Nagisa!"

The three looked back to find a young girl about the same height as Yuki walk down the stairs. She had short jet black hair to match her eyes and a very cute blue dress on.

"Haru-chan?" Nagisa called.

"You mean you know her?" Yuki asked.

"Of course, yes." The red head replied. "Yuki, this is Haru. Her parents, Tamao and Miyuki Rokujo are close friends of ours that live down the street."

"Mhm!" Haru piped in. "And I was so excited to hear you were coming that I wanted to meet you right away. So I told my parents I was going to wait here for you, and well, here I am!"

Yuki let out an annoyed sigh.

"So you just thought it was ok to break into this house and hide in my room?"

"No silly! I didn't break in. I have a key! So now, I can come visit any time I want!"

Yuki turned to face the older women with an expression that clearly said, "you've got to be kidding me," Nagisa and Shizuma both trying to hide their teasing smiles.

"So Haru," Nagisa said. "What do you think?"

"I think she's adorable! I really love how she looks just like you Aunt Shizuma!"

"I am not adorable!" Yuki shouted. "Don't say that!"

"I have to agree with you, Haru-chan." Shizuma replied. "She is a cutie."

"Stop encouraging her!"

The other three simply giggled at the girl's reaction, only making Yuki angrier by the second.

"Oh Yuki-chan." Haru said. "It's going to be so much fun having you here. And guess what? I know for a fact that we're in the same class, so not only can we walk to school together, but we can sit with each other and eat lunch together, too!"

"Please tell me you're joking…"

"Nope! It's going to be great! Anyways, I am gonna run home and tell my mom's about you. See you guys later!"

"Bye Haru-chan." Shizuma replied. "Be careful."

"I will!"

And with that, she jetted out, leaving Yuki alone with the two women once again.

"I knew it. I'm in hell."

Shizuma actually laughed out loud at this, Nagisa smiling along with her.

"Haru's a great kid." Nagisa said brightly. "I think you two will be very good friends!"

"Yeah no. I'm good. I'm going back upstairs."

"Dinner will be soon." Shizuma told her. "Any requests?"

"No. I won't be hungry."

"But it's your first day here." Nagisa told her. "We wanted to have a celebration dinner."

"Have fun with that." Yuki said back.

"But-"

Nope. She wasn't hearing it, so before Nagisa could finish, she ran back upstairs and shut the door.

"I am so done leaving this room." She muttered, and she really was. After she unpacked, she spent the rest of her time flopped on her bed, staying lost in her own thoughts. It wasn't until about 7:30pm did she move, getting up to look out her window. As she did, she noticed the flat roof right in front.

"_I wonder…_"

Opening the window, she slipped out and sat on the surface.

"_Definitely wouldn't want to fall from here…_" she thought as she looked down. After, she looked up at the starry sky above her.

"_So pretty…_" she thought. Looking back down, she took a good look around, getting a better view of the neighborhood. She found that many of the houses were similar to the ones she was staying in, the colors and the sizes all varying.

"I wonder if the people are just as crazy as these two…anyways…"

After letting out a little yawn, she slipped back into her room and shut the window. Due to how peaceful and relaxed she felt out there, she knew that was going to be a favorite spot of hers, but for now, she just wanted to change into her pajamas and lay down. She had just finished slipping on her night shirt when a knock came at her door.

"Yuki? Can we come in?"

The girl simply sighed.

"Do I even have a choice in the matter?"

Seconds after, the door opened, the two women entering with a smile.

"Hey you." Shizuma said. "We just wanted to check in."

"I'm still here."

"You sure you aren't hungry?" Nagisa asked. "There's still some dinner downstairs that I saved for you."

"I'm very sure. I'm going to bed."

"Oh…all right." The red head replied.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Shizuma asked.

"Positive."

"Ok, well then…if you're going to bed…"

Before Yuki had a chance to process or react to what was going on, Shizuma had her arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Wh-what are you-"

"I just have to give you a good night hug." The silver haired woman said. And if that wasn't enough, Nagisa snuck in and hugged her from behind as well.

"You're just so cute!" Nagisa said. "We can't help but hug you."

"But I hate hugs!" she retorted, struggling to get away.

"Are you saying our hugs don't feel good?"

At this, Yuki froze, her struggling coming to a stop. She had planned to say no, but found the word stuck. Why? Because even though she denied it, they really did feel good.

"_There's that warmth again. Why is it so…"_

Her chest was flaring up with a new feeling, her heart cautiously exploring the growing spark.

"_It's kind of…comforting. It almost makes me want to…_"

Her thoughts stopped there, the warmth getting a little too over whelming. If she was having those thoughts, it meant she was becoming vulnerable, and that was something she would not allow to happen.

"Get off!"

Pushing her way out, she stood there with a grumpy look on her face, a blush gracing her cheeks.

"You two are impossible. Go away."

The two women just smiled, Shizuma herself highly amused.

"Good night to you, too dear. We will see you in the morning." And with a final wave, they left.

"Baka…" she muttered under her breath as she turned away, clicking off the light and then climbing into bed.

"_What is their issue?_" she wondered, curling up. She was trying to be mad at them, but the more she thought about it, the warmer she would start to feel, killing her anger.

"_This doesn't make any sense at all. I have told them that I hated hugs, so why do they hug me anyways?_"

In the past, people usually just shrugged away and left her along when they learned that she disliked affection, but these two just kept going.

"_And don't forget…_"

She nuzzled up closer to her pillow.

"_They took a year off of work for me, too. They said they wanted to spend time and get to know me better, but I don't understand why they would want to do that either. Nothing makes sense here._"

She then let out a sigh, her brain starting to hurt from thinking about it all.

"_Whatever. Give it a few days. They'll probably get over the hugging thing and then things will probably go back to normal…yeah._"

Things would definitely be normal. They would eventual y get that she hated them and would give up on her all together. Everyone else did, so they would, too.

Right?

Now wanting to think anymore, she rolled over and closed her eyes, and within seconds, and very tired and confused Yuki finally fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: First Day

"Ne, I always thought that my Nagisa looked cute in an apron."

The aforementioned red head turned to find her wife leaning against the entrance of the kitchen, a playful smirk on her face.

"Shizuma…" Nagisa said shyly.

Giggling, the older woman walked over and gently pulled the pink eyed female into her arms, the two exchanging sweet words and warm kisses.

"What are you doing?" Shizuma asked after, fixing a strap on the younger one's red dress.

"Putting together Yuki's bento for today." She answered. "First day at a new school in a new place…she must feel so nervous."

Wanting to help out, Shizuma turned with the other to help finish the lunch.

"Probably so, though with that stubbornness of hers, she would deny it."

An amused glint was in Shizuma's green eyes as she herself spoke these words. It had been three weeks since Yuki's arrival and each day was a new adventure. They would always attempt to love on her whether she liked it or not and teasing the girl never got old.

"I swear," Shizuma continued, a hint of amusement still in her tone. "I have never seen a child fight against hugs as much as she does."

"It's kind of funny." Nagisa replied, her smile dampening slightly a few moments after. "But…at the same time, it's kind of sad."

Shizuma eyed the other as she spoke.

"Kira said she really had a hard time prior to becoming an orphan, and that the foster homes didn't help either." Nagisa continued. "With that being true, no wonder she pushes them away. They are probably so foreign to her that she doesn't know how to handle them, so she just pushes. I just really wish we could show her how wonderful they really are."

Shizuma reached over and took her wife's hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing it lightly. This action caused Nagisa to blush, her chest warming up as it always did when the woman was around.

"I wish the same." Shizuma replied. "And I believe that if we keep showing her affection as we are, that one day, she will find them wonderful and will be able to hug and accept love more freely. I mean, even now you can tell she likes them even though she tries to hide it. I can see it in her eyes, and though she fights them, she could be fighting them a whole lot harder than she is now, but she doesn't. I know that one day she will see that affection is ok."

"You really think so?" Nagisa asked, her sadness leaving at the woman's encouraging words.

"Yes." Shizuma said back with a smile. "Yes I do."

* * *

Back in her room, a very tired, nervous, and mildly cranky ten year old stared at herself in the mirror, eyeing the new school uniform she was wearing that consisted of a blue skirt, a white shirt, and a red bow.

"_You'll be going to the same school I went to before I transferred to St. Miator's._" She remembered Nagisa telling her the day before. "_It's called Ashiba Academy. You'll love it there, and when you turn thirteen, you can go to St. Miator's too if you'd like! Although we wouldn't mind at all if you chose Spica or Lulim."_

_ "Wait, what? I won't even be here that long!"_

_ Nagisa giggled and kissed the child on the cheek._

_ "I can still wish and hope for it, can't I?_"

Yuki grumbled again as she placed her hand on her cheek. Although the kiss was from the day before, it still felt like it was there, the warm tingling feeling seemingly tickling her cheek every time she thought about it.

"Baka…" she muttered, pushing the memory from her mind. No matter how many times she had told the two that she didn't want any of the affection they were giving, they never listened, loving on her regardless of her attempts to fight it off. There was part of her that found the act a bit annoying, but another part of her, (a bigger one that that), couldn't help but slowly fall for the warmth they offered. That part she hardly paid attention to though for that need and want for affection was something she couldn't even admit to herself.

Turning to grab her old black backpack, (since she absolutely refused to let Shizuma or Nagisa buy her a new one for school), she slung it on her shoulders and let out a yawn. She was going to head downstairs, but ended up just leaning back against a nearby wall, a sigh escaping her.

"_Why are these even coming back?_"

Once again, as it did the night before her arrival, her sleep was disturbed by an old nightmare. It used to plague her often in her younger years, but over time, it went away…that was until three weeks ago. Counting last night, the dream had haunted her four different times since she came to her new home.

"_But why? I thought they were gone for good?"_

She was already going through enough trying to settle into a new place. She didn't need these bothering her, too.

"_Leave her alone!"_

_ "Get off of me! That little brat deserves it!"_

_ "She's your daughter!"_

_ "She's no damn child of mine!"_

_ She could feel the coldness of the item that had slipped her way, the object heavy to her six year old arms. She didn't like what she saw. The whole thing scared her, but she wanted to help her Aunt. She thought that giving her the item would be of help, but as she lifted what would soon prove to be the confirmation of a new life, a shot went off accidently, and moments after, a lifeless body hit the ground._

_ …._

_ "What have you done!"_

"Yuki?"

The ten year old jumped from the sudden call, Shizuma's voice pulling her from the unwanted memory.

"Yeah…"

"It's almost time." She replied from downstairs.

"I'm coming…"

Letting out another sigh, she picked up a nearby brush and ran it through her silver locks one more time before finally heading down.

"Good morning!" Nagisa said brightly when she saw the girl enter the kitchen. "Aww, you look adorable! That uniform looks wonderful on you."

Yuki simply grumbled something in return, rubbing sleep from her eyes as she plopped down at the table. How anyone could be that happy all the time she'd never understand.

"You excited?" The red head asked.

The girl shrugged, a little too tired to really converse. However, due to her tiredness, her guard was left down, leaving her wide open for the nice little hug Nagisa gave from behind, the woman's arms gently wrapped around the girl's shoulders.

"Seriously…"

"I know I'm excited for you." She told her, her face resting besides Yuki's. "It will be a great day!"

"Wonderful…" the girl replied sarcastically.

Nagisa then proceeded to nuzzle her cheek.

"I can't wait to hear all about it when you come home. You-"

"Will you just get off!"

Yuki stood up and pushed away from the woman, a grumpy look clear on her face. Her night had been a little too rough, so she wasn't entirely in the mood for some loving. However, it wasn't because didn't want it…oh no, she wasn't in the mood for the touching because she _**did **_want it. There was no denying the warm feelings she got from Nagisa's hug despite how off she felt, and those warm feelings seemed to invade the darker ones she was experiencing due to her dreams, providing to be some form of comfort. That comfort, however, she would not allow herself to have for if she melted into those hugs now with the way she was feeling, she would never want to let go, and that was something she was just not ready for.

As Shizuma watched this, she could see the tiredness and irritability on the young one's face. It was normal to see Yuki get all flustered over hugs, but this was very much different.

"Are you all right?" Shizuma asked.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"All right then. How did you sleep?"

This question just made her shrug her shoulders.

"Well enough."

"You sure?"

"What's with the twenty questions?"

Normally people would leave her alone when she was like this, especially after stating she was ok, yet this woman kept pressing on. She wasn't sure whether to feel touched at the fact that she really wanted to know how she felt or just plain old annoyed.

Grabbing her backpack, she slipped it over her shoulders and adjusted it so it wouldn't wrinkle her uniform.

"Look, I'm fine, ok? I-"

Before she could finish her sentence, she looked up to find Shizuma inches away from her, the woman placing her hand beneath Yuki's chin and lifting it gently till their eyes met.

"Sh-Shizuma…what a-are you-"

There is was again, that deep green gaze that pierced through her own matching eyes and right into her very soul, leaving the child frozen in place. Shizuma's eyes searched Yuki's tired ones as if she was looking for something, and moments after, she pulled the girl into a tight embrace.

"I believe you if you say you are fine, but please remember, if you ever need to talk about anything, we are both here for you."

That spark, which has already awoken when Nagisa hugged her, now grew even more, warm feelings flooding her dark ones yet again. Those words and the warmth jabbed at her heart, slowly thawing out the ice that had formed around it.

"_What…is she…_"

It was too much. Everything she was feeling was just too much. While part of her was touched and yearned for these kinds of feelings, the other part knew better than to fall for them, and regardless of the motherly tone and the sweetness of Shizuma's warmth, she wouldn't let herself fall in.

"Must you?"

She pushed away from the woman's grasp and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I tell you both over and over that I hate hugs. Why don't you ever listen?"

"Good morning!"

Their conversation came to an end when the front door opened, a familiar face peeking into the kitchen. Both women smiled when they saw who it was.

"Good morning, Haru-chan." Nagisa replied.

The dark haired ten year old found her way into the arms of the pink eyed female, slipping into Shizuma's right after.

"You excited for your first day?" Nagisa asked.

Haru nodded.

"Yes! I can't wait to start. Ne, Yuki-chan, you look so cute!"

Yuki felt a blush peek on her face, quickly turning away so the others wouldn't see.

"Shut up! I am not! Baka."

Haru simply giggled.

"You ready?"

"Ugh. Do I really have to walk with you?"

"Mhm!" Without warning, Haru grabbed Yuki by her wrist and proceeded to walk off. "Come on!"

"_Someone help…_"

"Wait!"

Stopping, the two turned to see Nagisa walking over with a small pink clothed bag in her hand.

"Don't forget this, Yuki-chan!"

Yuki's blush came back again when she saw the item.

"A…bento?"

"Mhm!" The woman replied. "Shizuma and I made it this morning."

Yuki slowly reached out and took it, holding the item as if it were something fragile.

"_They made this…for me?_"

She couldn't remember the last time someone made her lunch like this. Past homes just had her get food at school, never wanting to take time to put something together.

"I hope you like what's in there." Nagisa continued. "If there is something you don't like, let me know and I'll be sure to not put it in the next time."

Yuki looked up at the other with mild confusion.

"You mean…you're going to do this again?"

"Of course!" she replied. "You'll always have one for school!"

Yuki could do nothing but stare at the two, both staring back with warm smiles. While this may have been a simple gesture for most kids, it actually meant a lot more to her, even if she didn't want to admit it. Despite her stubbornness though, she couldn't get mad or snappy this time. For once, she didn't have the heart to.

"Um…th-thank you…_"_

"You're welcome!" Nagisa replied happily. "Have a good day, both of you!"

Yuki nodded in reply, and with that, the two kids walked out of the door.

Once they had left, Shizuma walked behind her wife and wrapped her arms around the woman's waist, resting her chin on her shoulder.

"She liked it…" Nagisa said, nuzzling into Shizuma's cheek.

"She did…and I'm glad. Though, I feel like something is bothering her. She looked as if she had something on her mind when she came downstairs. "

"I noticed that, too." Nagisa said back. "I wonder what it was."

"I don't know. You heard me say that she could come talk to us, but there is a good chance she won't."

"Yeah, well, maybe we can do something for her instead."

"Like what?" Shizuma asked.

"I'm not sure…um…oh, maybe we can get her a gift and give it to her when she comes home!"

The older woman smiled and hugged her wife closer.

"I think that is a wonderful idea."

"And I know just what we can get her! Let's go!"

* * *

The walk to school was done in silence, well, for Yuki anyways. Haru chatted along the whole way despite the others quietness, the girl looking to be yet another who was overly happy. It wasn't until they reached the entrance did Yuki finally speak.

"Come on, let's head up early!" Haru told her.

"Early?" Yuki asked. "Why?"

"To meet the others. There are two more best friends of mine you need to see."

"You mean there are more of you?"

"Yep! We grew up together because our parents are all good friends. Come on!"

Grabbing Yuki by the wrist again and pulling her like a ragdoll, the two ventured inside, only stopped when they got to their shoe lockers.

"It's right up here." She told the other once their inside shoes were on. "Follow me."

Grimacing slightly, she followed Haru up the stairs, the two reaching the classroom moments after.

"Good morning, Yukari-sensei!"

Peeking over the other girl's shoulder, she found a brunette woman sitting at the desk, smiling as the two walked in.

"Good morning, Haru." She said sweetly. "It's nice to see you again. Oh, who is this?"

"This is Yuki. Yuki Himeko!" Haru answered. "She just moved here. Yuki-chan, this is Yukari-sensei. She was my teacher last year and moved up to teach this year, too."

"Well hello, Yuki. It's very nice to meet you."

"Uh…hello." The girl said back.

"Come on, let's go sit!"

Taking the seats near the front, Yuki sat at the fist desk while Haru sat behind her.

"I'm so glad we're in the same class." Haru told her. "Now I can see my Yuki-chan all the time!"

"Wait what?! Your Yuki-chan?"

"Good morning!"

Not long after the two girls sat, two more students came in, a boy and a girl.

"Good morning, you two." Yukari-sensei said to them "It's nice to see you."

"Hi everyone!" Haru called, waving then over. "Look whose here!"

"All right!" The boy shouted. "It's the new girl!"

"_Oh no…more people…_"

The two came over and took a seat, the boy next to Yuki and the girl next to Haru.

"_Does the whole damn world know about me?_" Yuki asked herself, slightly confused and flustered at the excitement the two newcomers had upon seeing her.

"I was really excited to hear that Shizu-chan and Nagisa-chan were going to be taking you in." The girl spoke, her tone gentle. This female, who had long silky golden hair and chocolate brown eyes, seemed like the proper type, all graceful and kind. Yuki got this vibe simply from how the cute girl had walked, spoke, and sat. "Even more so when we found out you were going to be in our class. My name is Mika, by the way. Mika Ohtori."

"And I am Kotaru Nanto!" The pink haired boy answered, his light brown eyes lighting up. "It's great to finally meet you!"

"As I said before, all of our parents are friends. "Haru said. "They all went to school on Astrea Hill, but the only difference is that Mika's parents, Amane-chan and Hikari-chan, and Kotaru's parents, Yaya-chan and Tsubomi-chan, all went to Spica while ours went to St. Miator's. They hung out a lot though!"

Yuki stared at the three of them, and expressionless look on her face before finally turning away, closing her eyes and resting her chin in her hand.

"You guys are way too excitable in the morning…"

"Oooooh, she's so cool!" Haru said admiringly.

"And she's cute just as you said." Mika added.

Yuki's eyes popped right back open again, her gaze back on them in disbelief.

"Wh-what? I am not cute! Don't you start that, too! And Haru, don't tell people that!"

The three of them couldn't help but laugh, the silver haired female cursing as she turned away again. Most kids generally left her alone so she was not used to this kind of attention at all. Thankfully, other students began filing in, class starting soon after.

"_This is going to be a very long day._"

**Lunch**

The morning actually went pretty good. Despite the mishaps from when she first arrived, the classes were great. Yuki, even though she hated being around other people like this, loved to learn. It was a distraction for her, and she happily accepted any type of distraction at this point.

When lunch time came, she was actually a little excited to try her bento. What she didn't realize what the fact that she wasn't going to be eating alone.

"Eat with us, Yuki-chan!" Haru said, not really giving her a chance to say no, dragging the girl behind the other two. "We always eat by a huge tree on the grass."

After being dragged outside, she unwillingly sat down beside them near the aforementioned tree. She tried to get out of it, but it seemed none of them would have it.

"Jeeze, you guys are impossible." She muttered, getting comfortable and pulling the bento from her bag. When she opened it, her grumpiness was temporarily put on hold, the contents looking absolutely amazing. Rice balls, fish, apples…it all looked so good! The most surprising part of it was the little note that fell out when she opened it.

_"Good luck on your first day of school. We will be thinking about you and hope you enjoy! Love, Nagisa and Shizuma."_

A pink tinge grew on her cheeks as she read it. Not only was lunch made for her, but she was left with sweet words, too. Those two still had a way of inflicting warmth upon her even if they weren't in her presence.

"Aww!" Haru said as she looked at it. "That's so sweet." A warm look then fell upon her face, her eyes glimmering softly as if she were reminiscing. "It must be great living with Shizu and Natsu-chan. I may have been young, but I still remember when my mom's first took me in."

Yuki, who had a mouth full of rice, froze for a moment when she heard this.

"Wait, took you in?"

"Yes!" Haru replied brightly. "I was four when they first fostered me, and a year later I got adopted."

Yuki glanced at the others with a questioning look, wondering if they had been adopted, too seeing as they belonged to families with mom's as well.

"No." Mika said with a smile, understanding this gaze. "One of my mom's carried me."

"Same with me." Kotaru added. "Ne, I can remember when Haru-chan first came."

"Me, too." Mika replied. "She was so shy."

"_Shy?_" Yuki thought, unable to picture the black haired female that way. "_I don't believe it…"_

"Yeah…" Haru said a little meekly. "I just didn't know anybody was all."

"Weren't you scared?" Yuki asked.

"A little, especially when it came to my parents. Over time though, I learned that I didn't have to be and that they really loved me, too."

Yuki shuffled slightly in place. She wasn't alone when it came to being an orphan? Haru knew what it felt like, too?

"And a year later, you said they adopted you? You didn't think that was kind of fast?"

"Well, at first I did because they loved on me so quickly. They were already giving me kisses and hugs and everything my first week there. After though, I didn't feel that way anymore. See, I asked Tamao-kaa-chan how come they loved me so fast, and she said that no parent ever needs time or a reason to love a child. They just do, and they love their child the moment they are in their arms."

Yuki's heart flipped a little as she listened. Seeing her guardians be affectionate and caring with her so quickly had always made her wonder because in her mind, no adult could love a child so fast.

"_But they are doing exactly what Haru's parents did with her…she was loved right away. Does that mean Nagisa and Shizuma…_"

"Both Aunt Nagisa and Aunt Shizuma are great parents." Haru told her. "Trust me, I know. I really think you're going to like it there."

Yuki simply shrugged her shoulders. She wondered how the girl knew that they were good parents if they had never had any kids, but then pushed it out of her mind. She didn't want to think about it right now, and as she took another bite from her lunch, she pushed the two women completely out of her head and let it go.

* * *

Soon enough the end of the day came, Yuki having to push Haru off of her when she finally reached her house.

"Bye Yuki-chan! I'll see you in the morning!"

With a grumbled goodbye and a wave of the hand, she headed inside, shutting the door behind her.

"What a day…" she mumbled, slipping off her shoes. The classes in general were great, but the attention she was getting from her new classmates…well, that was going to take some time getting used to.

"Welcome home, Yuki-chan!"

Upon entering the living room and passing through the kitchen to head up to her room, she found Shizuma and Nagisa standing by the stairs, Nagisa with her hands behind her back.

"Um…hi." She said simply.

"How was school?" Shizuma asked.

"It was fine." Yuki answered. "Nothing all that interesting happened…anyways, I kinda just want to go to my room so-"

"Wait!" Nagisa said quickly. "Before you go, this is for you."

Pulling out her hands, Yuki found she had been hiding a medium sized, green paper bag behind her back, the woman holding it out for the girl to take.

"Wait…for me?"

"Yes." Nagisa answered. "Shizuma and I got this for you."

Although very confused, she took the bag and held it in her hands.

"Um…what is it?"

"You have to open it to find out silly." Shizuma replied. "Go on."

Opening the top, she reached inside to find something soft. Pulling it out, she found herself holding a soft, stuffed panda bear.

"_So…cute…_" she thought, her eyes widening as her cheeks reddened. Though she tried to act tough all the time, Yuki had a serious weak spot for stuffed animals, this one being way too adorable. If the two women weren't standing there, Yuki would have already been hugging the creature like crazy.

"Ne...look at her face." Shizuma said teasingly. "She loves it!"

Snapping back into reality, she stuffed the bear back into the bag, her blush getting deeper.

"Shut it! I don't know what you are talking about!"

"Are you saying you hate it?" Shizuma asked with a fake sadness.

"I didn't say that either!" The girl replied, feeling more flustered from the teasing by the minute. "Baka! What is this even for?"

"Well, we knew it was your first day and all so we wanted to get you something special to celebrate it." Nagisa answered.

Yuki's flustering self calmed a bit when she heard this, her brows furrowing slightly as she spoke.

"You got this because it was my first day of school? It isn't that big of a deal."

"Yeah it is!" Nagisa replied. "You are in a new place with new people and are going to a school you have never been to before. That is a huge deal, so we wanted to get you a little something for it. So…congratulations on your first day of school, Yuki-chan!"

Yuki just stood there not knowing what to do. To her, the first day of school hadn't been a big deal. She had done the whole new school routine before.

"_But they wanted to make me feel special for it. Whether I admitted it or not, I was little nervous about today…yeah I have done this before, but I am always a little nervous every time. No one has ever done this for me though...so why now?"_

"Are you all right?"

Yuki looked up at them both, shaking from her thoughts.

"Uh...yeah. Th-thanks for this. I'm just gonna…"

Still too flustered, she said no more and simply headed to her room.

**Later that night**

The rest of the day and dinner went as usual, the two women still teasing and loving on the girl despite yelling at them and pushing them away. Now, night had fallen in and Yuki found herself upon the roof once more, the bear that was given in her hand.

"This has been a weird day…"

First she felt spoiled by getting her own bento, then she had classmates who wanted to be her friend, and now her guardians gave her a gift simply because it was her first day of school. What was happening here was the complete opposite from what she had experienced in the past. No one ever thought that the first day of school was worth much of a celebration before nor has anyone wanted to become friends with her so quickly. Most kids in the past just let her be.

"_Why is this place so different? And why are those two_…"

She hugged the bear a little closer, a cool night breeze brushing through her hair.

"_No parent ever needs time or a reason to love a child. They just do, and they love their child the moment they are in their arms_."

Haru's words echoed through her mind as she looked up at the starry sky. Could that really be true? Could a parent care for a child that quickly?

"_That would mean accepting a child no matter how they were, but no one does that these days….at least I haven't seen it. Why are they so different from the others?"_

It was something she couldn't wrap her head around. What made her so special here? Why, out of all the families she had been with…even her own…did they seem to be the only ones who care?

The thoughts were too much for her at the moment, her mind and heart confused as they were against one another.

"_I am over thinking things…what is happening will go away eventually...everyone will give up. They always do."_

Crawling back into the darkness that was her room, she shut the window and slipped into bed, curling up under the covers. Tiredness hit her quickly as the previous night had been terrible sleep wise. Hopefully nightmares would not plague her tonight.

"_Yeah…they'll give up_..." She thought, her eyes closing as she held the panda close. "_They will…I know this. But…if I do…_" her heart filled up with that familiar warmth the two women gave her, the girl too tired to fight it off. "_If I do know this, then why does my heart say..._"

...

**-_Knock knock knock_-**

Silence came in return, no sound heard from the occupied room. Moments after, the door opened, two figures walking inside.

"Ne...yeah...she definitely liked it."

The light from the hallway shone in enough to show a sleeping girl in bed, a panda bear huggled close to her chest. The scene caused the two women to smile, Shizuma reaching in to tuck the young child in a little more.

"She looks so peaceful right now." Nagisa pointed.

"She does. She always acts so tough, yet at the end of the day, she is still just a child. Kira said she craves all the things every child wants, yet doesn't let herself have it."

"I wonder why…" Nagisa said sadly. "She deserves it."

"I agree." Reaching down, the woman stroked the soft locks that were similar to her own, Yuki moving slightly in return and hugging the bear tighter. "That's why we should keep loving on her as we are. She needs to know she doesn't have to be afraid here."

Nagisa walked closer and knelt down, kissing the girl on the head gently.

"Do you think we can do it?"

Shizuma nodded.

"I think so. Over time, I think she will see."

The two sat there for a few moments, offering small comforts to the sleeping girl who would otherwise snap if she found out they were giving affection.

"I really…really missed having a child."

The two thought about the one they had lost so young, those darkened feeling returning for a moment. It was the sight of the sleeping girl that eased it, filling them with warmth.

"As do I." Nagisa replied. I will always miss Sayuri and she will always be our daughter, but I am happy we are blessed with another."

Leaning in, Shizuma followed Nagisa's suit and kissed her head.

"That is right little one. We are talking about you. You are a blessing to us even if you think you are not. One day you will see it though. One day you will know you are safe…I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hope you are enjoying it so far! I am loving the reviews I get! Thanks for your support!**

Chapter Five: Confusion

The night Yuki was gifted the bear was a night she was free from her nightmares. It had been the first peaceful sleep in a long time. However, despite the comfort it gave, the soft critter wasn't enough to keep them away forever, for over the next three months, they continued to haunt her, occurring more frequently and vividly over time. This left the child often tired and in a foul mood. The cure for this mood, interestingly enough, was the presence of the two women as well as her classmates. At school, the normal trio always loved to joke around and tease her, and even though she always snapped at them for it, the fun behind it all made her feel light. At home, it was the warmth the women offered that helped keep the dark feelings at bay, their affectionate ways like a breath of fresh air to the stuffy and resilient soul of the ten year old. Yes, she would still yell and push away from their attempts to love on her, but at the same time, she would often stay nearby them to increase the chances for affection. Why not just give in to the hugs and such if she wanted them so much? It would be simple enough, right? These were questions she often found herself asking as of late, the answer always the same in the end.

Attachment.

Attachment was something she very much feared, life teaching her to never get close to anyone or anything. The idea of a loving family was just so foreign to her that even if the perfect one was standing right in front of her face, much like Nagisa and Shizuma, she wouldn't see it, negative thoughts and old experiences blinding her from it all. However, for the first time in her life, she found the fight not to get attached to be very hard, the women's endless caring not making it easy on her in the slightest. Oh how she secretly ached to fall into the arms of her guardians without a worry or a care…she even thought about telling them of her nightmares, in turn telling them about her past, which was something she had never done to anyone before. But, in the end, her feelings and ideas remained as they were, nothing but motherly yearnings and mere thoughts.

What she did not know, however, was that both Nagisa and Shizuma were well aware of her nightmare filled nights. This was due to the fact that the child often cried out and spoke unknowingly in her sleep, the two catching it often. Once, they actually questioned her on if she had been having any bad dreams, but the girl ended up getting very defensive in return, angry as well, and told them that she was just fine. After, they only hinted the question at the girl, asking "how was your night" or "did you sleep well" in hopes to get some answers, but nothing ever came. That, however, did not mean they were going to give up.

"Yuuuuuki."

It was a late Saturday morning, the time close 11:00am. Yuki had slept in longer than usual, and Shizuma, who was now by her side, knew it was from the restless sleep she had been receiving. Last night was no different either, both women having to peek in when they heard small cried from across the hall.

"Yuki…" she said again gently, kneeling down and reaching out to scratch the girl's back, which was facing her direction. If only they knew that back scratches worked like a charm on her. If she were awake, she would have been a pile of mush in mere seconds. In fact, as she slowly began to reach consciousness, her body went right into flop mode. The scratches felt good on her skin, though, due to her half asleep stage, she failed to comprehend what it really was. Her subconscious just knew it felt good.

"Hey little girl, it's time to wake up."

Stretching and letting out a squeak, the tired body rolled over, sleepy gaze meeting the warm one. Seeing her eyes open, Shizuma reached out and brushed away some of Yuki's silver locks.

"Hey you, d-"

Yeah no. Not happening. She was going to say something, but was barely able to get a few words out. Why? Well, as soon as she reached in to brush away some of Yuki's hair, the girl reached out and grabbed the woman's hand, slipping her own fingers between Shizuma's before holding it close to her chest, releasing a sign of content before falling asleep again. This was not, in any way, shape, or form, something the woman was expecting, Shizuma actually blushing a little when it happened. From experience, she knew an act like this meant that the child was comforted and felt safe in her presence. What she wasn't counting on was how touched she would be from the little girl's actions.

"Yuki…"

Not having the heart to wake her up just yet, she let her sleep a little longer, caressing the Yuki's hair as her mind began to wander.

It had been four long years since a child had graced their household. In the beginning, she thought that she would never be able to love a child again, but as time passed, she learned that if she loved another child, it didn't mean that her daughter was loved any less. Sayuri would always have a special place in her heart and she would love any new child that they brought in just the same, and as she watched the sleeping girl before her, she was more glad than she had ever been to have that realization and change of heart. She also realized how special Yuki was in this moment and silently prayed she would always be able to bring comfort to this little girl.

After another ten minutes had passed, she reluctantly decided to wake her up, her free hand reaching in to lightly scratch her soft cheek.

"Wake up sleepy head." She said softly.

At first, Yuki simply grumbled, furrowing her brows. After, her eyes opened once again and met with the woman's in front of her. She also took notice to the fact that she was holding something warm.

"_Is this…Shizuma's hand?_"

Because of her sleepiness, it took her a few to realize just what was going on, but when her mind clicked on to the fact that Shizuma wasn't a figment of her imagination and that she was really holding that hand close…

"Kyaaaaa!"

She jet back against the wall at the speed of light, pulling the covers close to her while attempting to speak. No words came out though, only a series of gawking noises replacing where her words should have been.

"_What…what even happened?_" she asked herself, a severe blush on her face.

"Well good morning, little one." Shizuma said with an amused smile, the woman now sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You…you…baka! What were you doing?!"

"I was just trying to wake you up." She said innocently.

"L-liar!"

"No, I was! I came in and planned to wake you up right away, but then you got all cute on me and grabbed my hand in your sleep."

"Wh-what? I did not! I would never!"

"But you did, cutie pie! You wrapped your hands around mine and snuggle it right up!"

Yuki was at a loss of words again. It didn't make sense as it was unlike her to do such a thing, yet at the same time…

"_My dreams…they were dark, and it was cold…but then, it started to feel all warm. And…her face…I saw it. I dreamt of her…_"

What Yuki thought was a mere dream was actually real, that split second moment being where she had first opened her eyes prior to grabbing the hand, but she was unaware of this.

"_It just…it got so warm and I…_"

She remembered how she had woken up to find the woman's hand wrapped firmly in her own and tucked close to her chest just the way she would hold her bear. Since there was really no way Shizuma could have purposely make Yuki hold her hand like this…

"_Oh my god…I really did…I…I…_"

Her face then became ten times redder than it was before.

"B…b…baka!"

Shizuma, judging by the look Yuki had on, knew she had figured it out and was trying to hard not to giggle at her reactions. The girl may have been all tough when she was awake, but her unconscious self gave away her deep desires.

"Oh don't be shy, honey. I thought it was so sweet!"

"Shut up! I don't know what you're talking about!" she denied. "Get out!"

"But I can't! I woke you up for a reason cutie."

"Stop calling me that! What the hell do you want?!"

"Well, I need to run to the store soon, and you my dear are coming with me."

A shopping trip alone with Shizuma?

"Hell no! Bring Nagisa!"

"I can't, little one. She needs to remain here for something, and since I don't want to go alone, you'll be coming. Anyways, because today is such a special day, I would really love to spend some time with you."

Hearing this took her out of her panic mode for a moment, her mind now searching for what today was supposed to be.

"Special day? What are you talking about?"

"Why, our three month of course! You have been here a whole three months and we wanted to celebrate it!"

Yuki's blush came back as she listened, a mixture of shocked and touched feelings swimming around in her chest. They really thought that her being there for three months was a cause for a celebration?

"Three months…it's not that big of a deal…"

"It is to us." Shizuma replied warmly, her eyes soft. "We really love having you here and we want to do a little something to mark this occasion. Any dinner tonight of your choice, and you'll also be getting a little treat after."

"A…treat?"

"Mhm! That's why you need to come along with me. I could use your help picking out some new curtains for the house anyways, and then when we come home…"

Yuki's brows furrowed a bit at the unfinished sentence.

"When we come home…"

The silver haired woman winked, now getting up from the bed.

"You'll just have to see! So you'll come?"

Though a little uncertain of the whole idea, and still in some shock at the fact that today was something to be celebrated, she ended up giving in, knowing that even if she said no, she would be dragged along.

"Might as well. You aren't really giving me a choice."

Giggling a little, she walked to the bedroom door and opened it up.

"Let me know when you are ready then. I look forward to spending some time with you."

And after that, she left, leaving Yuki to her own thoughts.

"_They want to celebrate the fact that I have been here three months? I can definitely say that no family has ever done that for me before…and then the whole waking up thing and the hand…_"

She had barely been awake for ten minutes and her day was already all over the place. However, regardless of it being crazy, it felt nice at the same time. She was able to wake up feeling warm, and even though she freaked out about it, it felt nice holding Shizuma's hand like that. It was like…

"_Ok…no. No more thinking. Let's just get this day over with…_"

* * *

After the odd incident of that morning, Yuki went on to clean herself up and headed downstairs. Upon entering the kitchen, she was tackle attacked by a Nagisa, the woman all happy to see her and all excited that it had been three months.

"_I really don't see the big deal in this…_" she thought, but she decided to just let it go. She didn't want those touched feelings returning like they had earlier when Shizuma mentioned. Instead, she just sat and ate some lunch, and a couple hours later, her and Shizuma were finally off, the girl slouching and eying the scenery outside as they drove.

"So why isn't Nagisa coming again?"

"There is a little something that she wants to do."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you."

Yuki's brows furrowed a bit.

"But why?"

"It's a surprise." She replied with a smile and a wink. "You'll see soon enough, love."

Yuki was still confused about it all, but decided to leave it alone. In all honestly she was too tired to press on. Her lack of a good night's rest had slowly been eating at her energy and she was not liking it.

"_But how do I make those nightmares stop?" _she wondered helplessly, having no idea how to control her own dreams. Hell, she had no idea why they even started again in the first place.

"_Sometimes talking about it to someone else helps get it out of your system and out of your head._" She remembered Kira telling her a few years back, but sharing it was something she could never do. Often times she did contemplate telling Nagisa and Shizuma, but in doing so, it would also mean telling them her past as her nightmares were not only mere dreams, but flashbacks of a reality that was once hers…a replay of an event that she prayed would one day be forgotten...

"_But…I almost wish…_"

"Here we are!"

Not even ten minutes later they were at a local mall, and not long after that, they were looking for the summer colored curtains to go with the house. With the hotter months coming up, Shizuma had wanted to get some to tapestry to match the season. Why Yuki really had to be here for this was something she didn't know, but she was still too tired to argue about it.

_"Well, Shizuma did mention that I had to come with her because of some treat I will be getting…is there really something going on back at home? Does the treat have anything to do with why Nagisa had to stay? Is there really even a treat of some sort?"_

As the trip continued on, she realized that it wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be, even forgetting all about what could possibly be going on back at the house.

"_I am actually kind of enjoying myself._" She said two hours later, walking out of one of the public bathrooms. It was nice just being alone and spending time with Shizuma, even if they were only shopping. Would it feel this nice spending alone time with Nagisa one day, too?

As she walked back to the center of the mall, she found the woman sitting on the bench, three bags of the yellow curtains they found beside her.

"Well hello again." She said as Yuki sat down. "You enjoying your day so far?"

Yuki looked down and fiddled with the cloth of her blue skirt.

"It's all right…" she replied, her voice playing it off as if she was not interested.

"I'm glad! I have really enjoyed spending some time with you!"

"All we did is buy curtains…"

"So, the fact that you were with me just makes me so happy. I don't care what we are doing, I just love spending time with you."

Yuki felt a blush grow on her cheeks, her face turning away. She did not want to get all worked up in public, but hearing that Shizuma felt the same way she secretly did…

"Oh! Before we go back home, there's one more thing. Let me just…here we go!"

Turning back, she found Shizuma holding a little purple box in her hand.

"Happy three months, Yuki-chan!"

The blush that she had been trying to hide now grew deeper.

"W-wait…that's for me?" she asked.

"Mhm! I picked it up a few days ago and saved it for today!"

Yuki's heart did a little jump as she glanced at the box, still not entirely sure if she heard right.

"Really…for me…"

"Yes, my dear." She replied, holding it out to her. "Just for you."

The two had already given her a bear, now Shizuma wanted to give her something else? What was with all this warmth and affection and giving they kept doing? It was hitting her hard, slowly killing her ability to fight it day by day.

"Go on." Shizuma said warmly. "Open it."

Gulping a little, she reached out and took the box, holding it in her hands for a moment before finally pulling off the top, and when she saw what was on the inside, her eyes grew wide.

"Here."

Shizuma got up and grabbed the item that was inside. Sitting behind the girl, she slipped her hands under Yuki's silver locks, adjusting the gift a little before finally clipping the ends together.

"There we go. Pretty as a present. What do you think?"

Glancing down, she eyed her newly given gift. It was a necklace, a silver one, with a small heart as a pendant. It was definitely the most beautiful thing she had ever seen or owned. Now, her heart was dancing all over the place, her toughness suddenly forgotten.

"Do you like it?"

Yuki more than liked it. She loved it, and as her fingers gently trailed over the heart, her love for it showed in the form of a small, happy smile.

"Awww…Yuki-chan! I never thought I'd be able to see that! That makes me so happy…I finally get to see you smile!"

While in her moment of bliss, it was this comment that snapped her back into reality, her whole body freezing as her existing blush greatly deepened.

"Wh-what? Shut up!"

"Thank god. I have wanted to see that pretty smile for ages. You should do that more often. It suits you."

"Baka! You're seeing things! I wasn't smiling!"

The woman merely cocked an eyebrow at this, a smirk on her face.

"What!? I'm not lying!"

Shizuma, unable to hold it back any longer, simply giggled at the girl's reactions. Denial or not, she saw that smile, and seeing it made her entire day.

"All right then, let's head home. We-"

"Yuki-chaaaaaaaan!"

Being so lost in the moment, she didn't even see the small figure running up to her until it was too late, the arms of a familiar face suddenly wrapped around her neck.

"H-Haru-chan!"

"Yuki I missed you so much!"

"But I-"

"Well look who it is." Shizuma said.

"Looking past the clinging Haru, Yuki saw two women walking over to join them. One was tall with jet black hair and the other one was a little shorter with blue hair.

"Hello, Shizuma." The taller one said. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I needed some curtains for the house. I wanted to bring in some summer colors. Yuki-chan here was a great help."

All eyes were now on her, making the girl a little nervous.

"Aww, Yuki-chan!" the blue haired girl said with an excited smile. "We have heard so much about you!"

"Indeed we have." The other one said. "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Miyuki."

"And I'm Tamao!"

"The three of us, along with Nagisa, all attended St. Miator's together." Shizuma told the girl. "I believed I mentioned that they live right now the street from us."

"Yes we do, and for someone who loves so close, you have yet to bring her over." Miyuki replied in a joking manner.

"What can I say?" the green eyed female asked, now clinging to Yuki, who had just literally escaped from Haru's grasp. "Maybe Nagisa and I like to keep this sweet girl all to ourselves."

"Really…" Yuki asked, her face dropping.

"Miyuki is right thought." Tamao added. "We hear so much about you from Haru but you have yet to come and visit. Always feel free to come over whenever you'd like."

"Um…thanks?"

"Speaking of visits, my moms and I were just talking about something. "Haru said. "Yuki-chan, we have a camping trip coming up soon."

"The one you take every year?" Shizuma asked.

"Yes!" Haru replied. "Are you guys coming again?"

"Camping?" Yuki asked. She hadn't done that before.

"Mhm!" Haru answered. "Every year, Kotaru-kun, me, Mika-chan, and our parents go camping for a weekend. Aunt Nagisa and Aunt Shizuma go, too!"

Yuki looked up at her guardian who nodded and smiled back.

"Yuki-chan needs to come this year as well." Haru added.

"Wait…I can go, too?"

Yuki had never been invited to something like this before.

"Of course!" Haru replied. "You're our friend, silly. We want you to come. It will be so much fun!"

"She right." Miyuki added. "It's always fun when we go. We cook over fires, go fishing, look at the stars…"

"And there are s'mores and ghost stories and songs!" Tamao finished.

"Oh please please say you'll come." Haru half begged.

A little over whelmed at how quickly this was happening, she looked up at Shizuma, unsure of how to answer.

"If you'd like to go, say yes." Shizuma told her warmly. "We can all go together."

Although she was still feeling a little shy and nervous at being invited, she couldn't help but feel excited for it, too. This would be a whole new experience for her and the ordeal sounded fun, so in the end…

"Um…well…sure. I'll go."

"Yes!"

Haru glomped the girl again, Yuki blushing instantly and pushing her off.

"Haru-chan! Not in public!"

The other just giggled, Haru not caring where they were as long as she got her hug.

"All right then." Miyuki said. "I'm glad you'll be joining us. It will be in three weeks, so there will be plenty of time to prepare."

"We look forward it ot!" Shizuma said back.

"Great!" Tamao replied. "It will be fun to have us all together. Anyways, we'll take our leave now. It was great seeing you Shizuma and say hi to Nagisa for me. And Yuki-chan? Please don't be a stranger. Our door is always open when you want to visit."

"Uh…all right."

And with that, the two left, Shizuma and Yuki leaving, too.

"_A camping trip…_" she thought as they drove home. It was an exciting thing to look forward to.

"_Of course silly. You're our friend. We want you to come."_

Haru's words echoed through her mind, her eyes closing as she thought.

"_Friends…_"

There were very few people in the world who she would call friend. Well, one really, and that was Kira. However, it seemed as if that list was now growing with the addition of Mika, Kotaru, and Haru in her life. They were always trying to include her in everything and wanted her to feel like one of them.

"_It kind of nice to be included. It makes me feel wanted. Friends…I have friends…and then…Shizuma…Nagisa…_"

They made her feel wanted as well, but wanted in a different way. They made her feel things she never thought she would feel again, no matter how much she denied it. The ice around her heart was slowly melting, her walls slowly coming down.

"_They always make me feel special…they make me feel warm…and I…I…_"

Shizuma noticed the quietness of the child and peeked over to see her asleep. As adorable as the scene was, Shizuma's gaze was saddened, knowing full well the reason behind why she was passing out already.

"_My Yuki…those dreams are making her so exhausted. I wish there was something I could do."_

She and Nagisa had been doing everything they could possibly think of in trying to bring comfort to the young girl from constant affection to giving to sweet, soft words, but there was only so much they could do with Yuki still fighting it. Both her and Nagisa wished to know what those dreams were about, wanting nothing more than to help her get through whatever was bothering her.

"_Well…I could ask her again…_"

She wondered if that was a good idea though. The last time her and her wife asked Yuki if she had been having bad dreams, the girl closed up, getting very defensive. She even got a little angry, and though she didn't want her getting that way again, she hated seeing her like this. Always so tired, so exhausted…

"_It has been awhile since I asked…so maybe I can now. I just really want to help her. There's got to be something I can do to ease her up…_"

She let the girl sleep through the rest of their short journey home, and when they arrived, she turned off the car and let out a sigh. She had to do this. Seeing Yuki like this and hearing her cries at night was too heartbreaking for her and Nagisa, the two unable to sit around and watch it much longer.

After a few more moments of thinking, she reached over and gently shook the sleeping girl.

"Yuki...sweetie…we're home."

Snapping awake, Yuki looked around a little dazed before realizing just where she was.

"Oh…yeah…" she said a little shyly, unbuckling her seat belt. "Sorry."

"No, wait…" Shizuma said quickly, Yuki stopping to look back at her. "Wait…I…there's something I want to talk to you about."

Sitting back in her chair, Yuki eyed the other with mild confusion.

"What is it?" she asked.

Shizuma let out another sigh, trying to pick her words carefully.

"Well…Yuki, I am a little worried. You've…you've been awfully tired lately."

Yuki shuffled in her seat a little, her guard ever so slowly going back up.

"Yeah…a little…"

"Yes…and, I know it has to do with those bad dreams you are having."

Now her guard grew a bit more, her brows furrowing a bit.

"B-bad dreams?" Yuki asked. There was no way they could know about them. "What bad dreams?"

"The ones you have been having for quite a while."

"I haven't had any at all!" she said back, her tone snappier than she meant it to be.

"Honey, please don't feel ashamed for having them…everyone has nightmares…"

"What makes you think I do? What makes you-"

"We hear you."

Yuki's words got caught in her throat, fear traveling throughout her heart.

"H-hear me?"

Shizuma nodded.

"We can always tell the nights you have bad dreams because you let out these little cries…and when we go in to check on you, you're tossing and turning…you sound so scared…"

Yuki could feel her heart rate rise, the girl feeling more and more uncomfortable by the second. She cried out in her sleep? She tossed and turned? She had no idea she did that…no clue she even made a sound.

"_And they…they saw it all…_"

This made her guard rise even more.

"You…you check on me?"

"We can't help but to…It's been happening a lot and we-"

"What gives you the right to walk in there when I'm sleeping?"

Shizuma was a little taken aback by this question, knowing for sure now that Yuki was really starting to get worked up.

"Well, hearing you like that worries us…we only go in to see if you are safe. We want to help you."

"But you can't!" she spat out, her emotions starting to get the better of her mind. "You can't help me."

"Honey don't say that!" She said quickly, reaching out to hold the girl's hand. "No no…we can help you. We really can. We're right here for you…you don't have to be afraid…"

Due to the amount of loving the women had given her over the past few months, her old tough self had broken a bit. Her mind always won over her heart, but recently, her heart was finally taking some wins. Her head always told her to never trust and to never believe, but Nagisa and Shizuma had slowly been giving her a reason to believe again, and right now, her mind and heart were at it again. They knew about the nightmares and wanted to help…they wanted her to feel safe. Her head told her no, saying it was better to watch out only for herself, but her heart told her to let them in…to trust them and to let them help because she knew they could. They already made her feel safe, what would happen if she told them all about her nightmares and let them in fully?

"_But then you would have to tell them about your past…_"

She would have to if she decided to share what her sleep held, but could she?

"Yuki…please. You can trust us." Shizuma told her softly, her gaze pleading to the other. "It's all right. You can tell us anything. You're not alone…"

She was pretty damn close to giving in, wanting to fall into all that warmth, but when she heard those last three words, and old memory in her mind triggered.

"_You're not alone."_

_ "Don't tell her that! That brat is all alone!"_

_ "Don't say that! She's not! She has me and she has you."_

_ "She has nobody…definitely not me."_

_ "She's your daughter, Rika."_

_ "Don't feed me that shit. She's nothing to me. You hear that Yuki? You're nothing to me! You're all alone in this god forsaken world and will always be that way!"_

"Yuki-"

"Stop!"

Yuki pulled her hand away, her memories instilling old fear back into her heart.

"Honey, please….we only want to-"

"I said stop! You don't know anything! What I dream about is none of your business and there is nothing you can do to help! I don't even want your help! Just leave me alone!"

Not wanting to hear any more and too scared to stay, she opened the car door and jetted out, running straight into the house.

"Yuki wait!"

She didn't care. She was done talking, and though a part of her heart told her to stop and run back, she was not listening to it, fear taking over instead. Upon entering the house, she ran through the living room and kitchen in attempts to get to her room, but before she could even leave the kitchen, Nagisa stopped her.

"Yuki! You're home!" she said happily.

"Nagisa, I-"

"I'm so glad! You came back right in time, too. I know Shizuma mentioned a little treat for you, so here it is. I made this while you were gone."

She really didn't want to hear the other speak, but when she realized just what Nagisa had been holding, her mind stopped. There is the woman's hand was a cake, and a beautiful one at that. It has pink frosting, purple sprinkles, fresh strawberries on top, and a number three candle in the middle.

"Happy three months, Yuki-chan!"

For a moment, the girl had forgotten why she was running, forgetting her fear.

"Wh-what? For me?"

"Mhm! That's the real reason Shizuma took you out. We wanted this to be a surprise!"

Through the darkness and confusion she had been feeling at that very moment, a sudden light came through, a warmth that had been there before the fear had gotten to her.

"_They wanted to celebrate today…cause of me being here three months. For something so small, they wanted to celebrate…_"

She then began to remember the wakeup call and Shizuma's gift in the mall. Then she remembered the warm words and warm gaze Shizuma gave in the car when they were talking about her dreams.

"_They just want to help…they really just want to help…_"

Her heart started to clear out the fears for a moment.

"_Maybe…just maybe…I need to stop running. Maybe I can tell them…maybe they can help. Maybe I-_"

"Yuki!"

The ten year old turned to find Shizuma behind her, a worried look on her face.

"Shizuma…"

"Yuki…" she said again softly. "Honey, please….Yuki…"

"_Yuki!"_

_ "I'm sorry! I didn't-"_

_ "You bitch! I can't do this...-"_

_ "No!"_

_ She saw the women lift the gun to her own head._

_ "I can't take this anymore…"_

_ -Click-_

_ "Mommy!"_

"No!"

More fearful memories flooded her mind, her hands coming up to cover her ears as familiar voices screamed in her head.

"Yuki please…" Shizuma said, stepping a little closer.

"Leave me alone!"

She turned to leave, but Nagisa stopped her again, a worried look now on her face, too.

"Yuki, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just get out of my way. I need to go upstairs."

"But, we were just going to celebrate. It's close to dinner time and-"

"I don't care!" she yelled back. "It's a stupid thing to celebrate! What's wrong with you two? I don't want to celebrate anything with either of you!"

She could tell her words hurt a little, but she kept on.

"But-"

"I said move!"

Yuki then ran right passed the other, but as she did, she bumped into the woman hard, Nagisa losing her balance and dropping the cake onto the ground.

In that moment, the three of them stood still, all eyes on the broken pieces of Nagisa's hard work and love. It was the sight and realization of this that pulled Yuki out of her fearful moment, guilt now taking over.

"I…I…"

Nagisa knelt down and picked up the plate, still silent. Yuki went to reach down and help, but that was when the red head finally decided to speak.

"No…it's ok…"

Yuki froze in her tracks.

"But I-"

"Really…"

Nagisa looked up at her with sad and glazed up eyes, breaking Yuki's heart. What made it break even more was that despite the sad look, a warm smile was on her face.

"Nagisa-"

"It's all right. I promise. I'll clean it up."

Yuki really didn't know what to say. She hadn't meant to hurt Nagisa like that, and when she looked up at Shizuma, she found that the woman had a sad gaze, too.

"It's ok…" Shizuma said softly. "We'll take care of it. You go on up if you need to."

Yuki was feeling guiltier by the second, and unsure of what else to do, she turned and ran to her room. Once she was inside, she shut the door behind her, leaning back against it and sliding down until she hit the ground. Now her emotions hit her full force, guilt racking her system as tears burnt in the back of her eyes.

"_What have I done?_"

She had never seen the two look as sad as they did downstairs, and it was all because of her. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized just how ridiculous her actions were. Shizuma had only been trying to help, and Nagisa put in such hard work to make her happy. They both worked hard to do so. They even wanted to take such a simple event and make it a mini celebration.

"_What's…what's wrong with me?_"

She hid her face in her arms, tears threatening to escape if she didn't stop them. For once, people were trying to be there and care about her and all she did was mess it all up by pushing them away. The thought of just letting them in seemed so simple, yet Yuki had the hardest time doing it, the sudden flashbacks of her past making it even harder.

"_I just…I…_"

She couldn't lie. Despite all the fighting she did, she really loved the hugs and the kisses and the loving she received. No one had ever cared for her like that before.

"_So then why do I keep messing things up? Why can't I just…_"

She hated herself at the moment for what she had done, her mind desperately trying to think of a way to remedy it.

"_Can it even be fixed? They might hate me now or might give up on me now, too. Would they?_"

Once again, her mind told her they would give up, but her heart reminded her how much they cared and that they wouldn't at all.

"_Even if I could fix it…how would I even do it? I don't want to see them sad, but…I don't know how to make them happy. Ne…I didn't mean to hurt them…_"

She curled up a little more and sighed.

"_What do I do?"_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Camping Trip

The event that took place that late afternoon never left Yuki's mind. In fact, she was so worried about the outcome and filled with guilt that she hardly slept that night at all.

"_They probably don't like me anymore. I wouldn't blame them for giving up. I know I hurt them too much. Should I just start packing now? I know they'll probably send me away…"_

That was the biggest heart breaker of all. Even though her actions said otherwise, she didn't really want to go. She loved being there, but had zero clue on how to show it, only managing to hurt them more than help. And in knowing that, she was very settled on the idea that they were just going to send her back. However, when she walked downstairs the next morning, she found everything to be the same as it had always been. Shizuma was all huggy and Nagisa was humming happily while making breakfast. It was like the previous events hadn't happened at all, and she didn't understand why. Most kids in this situation would find this to be a relief, but for Yuki, it only made her feel worse. Any form of yelling or anger or even actually sending her away would have had least made her feel like justice was brought to her actions, but none of that came, the two women all happy and loving on her as always. It didn't make sense. She had hurt them both, so why were they still caring for her? She didn't deserve any of the love they were giving.

"So how do you like it so far, Yuki?"

The ten-year-old's mind slipped back into reality, her eyes rising up to see the faces of the two women she had just met a few hours before.

"Uh, what?"

Mika, who was sitting beside her, giggled at Yuki's confusion.

"Ne, someone is very distracted today."

"S-sorry…" she replied with a blush.

"No need to be." One of the women replied back with a smile. "We were just asking how you like your stay with Shizuma and Nagisa so far."

Yuki stared up at the two as she thought. The speaker, who had green hair and brown eyes, and the blonde woman beside her were Mika's parents, Amane and Hikari. She and Mika were sitting in chairs near them around what would serve to be their campfire that night, making casual conversation. In all honesty, Yuki had forgotten about this trip all together, her heart and mind to racked with guilt to think of anything else.

"It's good." She replied, shyly fiddling with the strings of her blue knit shorts.

"Wonderful." Hikari said back. "You know, they were very excited to take you in. They spoke of you often."

"Yes, and they still speak about you all the time."

Hearing another voice, the group looked to the side to see Kotaru and his parents, Yaya and Tsubomi, join them, adding their own chairs into the circle.

"You're all they ever talk about." Tsubomi continued, a hint of fake annoyance and stubbornness in her voice. "It's always Yuki this or Yuki that…"

"Well, if I recall correctly, you did nothing but speak of and brag about Kotaru for months on end after he was born." Yaya said back, poking the pink haired female in the forehead. The woman turned and swatted at the hand, a blush on her face.

"B-baka!"

"Oi! Mika-chan, Yuki-chan, you guys about ready?" Kotaru asked with a hint of excitement in his voice. The three of them plus Haru had plans to go on a small hike and then have a picnic once they reached their destination.

"I'm ready." Mika replied. "Yuki-chan?"

"Yeah…"

"You kids be safe and have fun." Amane told them.

"We will, mom!" Mika said back.

"And Kotaru…" Yaya added with a smirk. "If you come across another snake, please don't bring it back and call it a pet."

The boy looked back sheepishly and smiled.

"Yes mom. Come on guys! Haru is by the picnic table with her parents!"

Following Kotaru past the tents and to the nearby table, Yuki saw that Haru was indeed with her parents, but not only them, Shizuma and Nagisa, too, her walk slowing slightly when she saw them. It wasn't because she didn't want to be near them, oh no. If anything, she wanted to be close by, but her heart still felt guilty over what had happened, the kindness the two kept showing only expanding those feelings.

"_I don't deserve the nice things they do for me. I hurt them, so why are they…_"

"Hi everyone!"

Haru's eyes lit up when she saw her friends' approach, the girl beckoning them over.

"We're almost ready!"

"You guys excited?" Miyuki asked, working with Nagisa and Shizuma on packing the basket with sandwiches and snacks.

"Yes!" Kotaru replied, throwing his fist into the air. "I've been looking forward to this all day!"

"Thank you for making the food for us." Mika told them.

"You're welcome." Nagisa replied. "It was no problem at all!"

"Just a little bit more, Haru-chan."

Looking away from the others, Yuki watched as Haru stood with her back faced towards Tamao, the blue haired woman rubbing sunscreen onto her neck.

"There, all set little girl!"

Once she was finished, Haru came running over, the girl glomping Yuki in seconds.

"Hi, Yuki-chan! I missed you!"

"Missed me?" Yuki asked, not even bothering to pry the girl off as she would just come back. "You saw me not even fifteen minutes ago."

"But that's fifteen minutes too long." Haru said back, squeezing tighter. "I hate every second I am not with my Yuki-chan."

"Haru…" the girl replied lowly, letting out a sigh. After a few more moments, the child finally let go, the girl now lifting Yuki's arm.

"Yuki-chan, did you put on sunscreen?"

"Uh, yes…" she answered, pulling her arm away. "Of course I did."

"On your face and neck, too?"

"Ye-wait no." She had put some on earlier, but failed to get the mentioned spots. "But it doesn't matter anyways. We should-"

"It does matter! I wouldn't be able to stand it if the precious skin of my Yuki-chan got burnt!"

"What? I'll be fine…and I'm not your Yuki-chan!"

"Well-"

"No!"

"But I-"

"Yuki-chan?"

Yuki turned to find Shizuma looking at her with a warm and gentle gaze.

"It would be a little safer putting some on your face as that area tends to burn easily. I have some here if you'd like it."

Yuki saw the bottle in the woman's hand. In her mind, she knew she'd be just fine and didn't want any, but when she opened her mouth to speak…

"Ok…"

Well that didn't take much coaxing. What _really_ happens when Shizuma's gaze gets to Yuki…"

Walking over, she went to take the bottle, but when she reached for it, the woman pulled it back.

"It's all right. I got it."

"But I can put it on my-"

Nope. It wasn't happening. Before she could even finish her sentence, Shizuma had already opened the bottle and had put some on her hand. Finding no point in arguing, she just let the woman do her work, Shizuma gently and carefully rubbing it on her face, the girl blushing. While most people would find this gesture to be simple, Yuki found it to be a little more than that, almost looking at it as a motherly act.

"_Motherly…_"

When the woman was finished, Yuki went to walk away, but before she could, Shizuma slipped her hand beneath the girl's chin, the child freezing.

"One more thing…"

Leaning in close, she smiled and placed a warm kiss on Yuki's forehead, her cheeks flaring even more.

"Shi-Shizuma…"

The woman just kept smiling, stroking the child's cheek.

"There, now we're done."

"And we're done, too!"

Nagisa closed the basket with a happy smile on her face.

"I hope you kids enjoy this. Would you like to carry it, Yuki-chan?"

Yuki just nodded, the mother like kiss leaving her a bit flustered. Nagisa then walked over and held the item out.

"Here you are then! Food and treats just for you guys!"

Yuki's hand reached out to grab it, but half way there, she froze, the woman's words causing her mind to flicker back to three weeks before.

"_I know Shizuma mentioned a little treat for you, so here it is!"_

Nagisa looked as happy now as she did back then.

"Yuki-chan?"

"I…I…"

Before she could say anymore, another hand reached out and took it.

"I've got it," Mika said, grasping the basket firmly in her hands. Yuki blushed some more when this happened, feeling stupid for freezing up.

"I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to…I mean…I can…I c-can take it…_"_

"It's all right." Mika replied warmly. "I really don't mind carrying it at all."

Yuki nodded back, now stepping away in fear of looking even more stupid.

"You've got sandwiches and snacks and drinks in there." Miyuki told them. "Napkins and paper plates, too. Can you think of anything else you might need?"

"I don't think so." Mika answered.

"All right then." Miyuki said back. "Go on and have fun, and be sure to return before it gets too dark."

"Bye mom!" Haru said, running over to hug the black haired woman and embracing her tight, doing the same thing to Tamao right after.

"We'll see you later." Tamao replied. "You guys have fun and please be safe."

"We will." Haru said back. "Thank you!"

"Yuki-chan?"

Yuki looked up and met gazes with her two guardians, both sporting happy smiles.

"Have a good time." Shizuma said with a wink, the child's cheeks reddening up again. The poor things face would probably become permanently red if she kept blushing like this.

"Uh, yeah…thanks…"

"All right!" exclaimed Kotaru. "Let's do this!"

And with that, the group was off.

* * *

The journey through the wooded area was actually a pleasant one despite Yuki's confused feelings. The other three were sharing their past camping stories, Yuki even giggling with them by the time they reached their destination.

"So Yuki, what do you think?"

The four had traveled up a hilled trail, the path ending at a wide open, grassy flat cliff like structure that over looked the entire camping ground.

"Woah…"

She could see everything from there. She could see the area where she and everyone else were staying, the tents looking tiny from a distance…she could see the millions of trees from the forest that surrounded them, all different shapes and sizes…she could even see the entire lake that was located not far from the camp.

"It's…beautiful."

"It is." Haru replied, standing beside her. "Though…it's not as beautiful as you."

It took a few moments for that comment to process, the silver haired female freaking out upon realization of what was said.

"H-Haru!"

The other three giggled at this. Watching Yuki get flustered never got old.

"I don't know about you guys." Kotaru said after. "But I'm starving."

"Me, too." Mika added. "Come on, let's eat!"

Settling upon the grass, the four dug in, the slew of past camping stories kicking in again.

"You remember that time we all got poison ivy?" Mika asked.

"I do." Haru replied, grimacing slightly. "I would be ok with never experiencing that again. I was itching for days, and it was Kotaru-kun's fault!"

"What?" The boy asked. "How was I supposed to know that our treasure hunting area was bad? I was six!"

The three laughed at remembering this. They were known for getting into situations like that when they were a lot younger according to Haru. Yuki probably would have been laughing too, but her mind was distracted yet again, her eyes locked onto the far away tents below.

"_I still don't get it…" _she thought, remembering Shizuma's kiss_. "How can they act like I never hurt them?"_

"Yuki-chan?"

The female jumped a little at the call, quickly looking back at the others.

"Um, s-sorry." She muttered shyly. She had to stop zoning out like that.

The other three looked back with worry. For the last couple of weeks, they had noticed a change in their new friend. She was either sad or greatly distracted, but never mentioned what was on her mind.

"Yuki, are you all right?" Mika asked.

"Y-yeah..." She replied, her eyes falling to her plate. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you have been acting funny lately." Haru answered. "We've really been worried."

Yuki looked back up, their gazes confirming Haru's words.

"You know, we're here if you need to talk." Haru continued. "I don't like seeing you so sad."

Yuki shifted in her seat a bit, actually a little touched at their sincerity.

"That's right." Mika added. "We always are."

"It's…it's really nothing."

"If it bothers you, then it is something." Kotaru told her.

"But…it's stupid."

"Nothing is stupid if it makes you feel sad." Kotaru said back. "If something is bugging you, you can always rely on us to try and help. We're friends after all, right?"

Yuki blushed a little as she looked at the smiling and encouraging faces. They really wanted to hear what she had to say.

"Are…are you sure?"

"Yes!" Mika replied. "Very!"

Now, Yuki wasn't one for venting, but so much had been pent up that it just had to come out whether she wanted it to or not, the girl telling them of the constant nightmares, the events of that shopping trip day, and the bad things that happened after.

"And now they're acting like it never happened. I could see that they were hurt and sad before I ran, but when I woke up, they were all happy like and smiling."

"Maybe they just let it go." Mika suggested.

"But that doesn't make any sense. They should be upset and angry with me, but no. Instead, they are giving me hugs and kisses and just…I feel terrible. I don't deserve all that affection and stuff because I did something wrong."

"Yuki…" Haru said, her brows furrowing a bit. "Everyone makes mistakes, but it doesn't mean you don't deserve getting loved on."

"Doesn't it though? If I hurt them, shouldn't they be upset or something? Shouldn't I be in trouble?"

"No." Mika answered. "I mean, you said yourself that you didn't hurt them on purpose, right?"

"Yeah…I really didn't mean to."

"And maybe they realized that." Kotaru replied. "They probably know you didn't mean to hurt them and just forgave you."

"But why would they forgive me just like that?"

"Well, because they love you." Mika answered.

Yuki's heart froze a bit when she heard this.

"L-love me? But, that's impossible. They couldn't love me right now. I haven't been with them long enough."

"Ne…you think there is a time limit on how long it takes a mother to love a child?" Kotaru asked.

Yuki looked at the boy with questioning eyes.

"Isn't there?"

"No, there isn't." Haru answered. "Look, I definitely know where you are coming from. In the beginning, I never understood why my mom's loved on me so much so quickly either. I may have been young, but I knew that no one could have loved me that fast. It didn't make sense, so one day, I asked them about it. They said that there is no such thing as a time frame for a mother to start loving her child. They just do. They said that a mother instantly falls in love with her children the moment she sees them, and that they had instantly fallen in love with me on day one. I think that is what happened with Aunt Shizuma and Aunt Nagisa. When they saw you, they instantly fell in love, too."

Yuki could feel her face heating up as she listened, the girl stammering when she spoke.

"You really th-think they love me? That can't be true..."

"Well, you better start thinking otherwise." Haru said back, poking her in the side of the head. "Trust me, they do. I can tell by the way they look at you and treat you."

Yuki, who had put her food aside, curled up a little, pulling her knees to her chest and half hiding her face, really thinking hard about what Haru had said. Sometimes, she forgot that she could relate to the dark haired girl for she had once been an orphan, too.

_"Love me? Could they really?"_

It was a little too much to think about.

"Have you thought about talking to them about how you feel?" Mika asked.

"Yeah, but…I wouldn't know what to say."

Multiple times she had wanted to speak to them about what happened that day, but she could never bring herself to try. Venting to friends was one thing, but venting to an adult? Yeah, that was a lot harder.

"Just be honest with them." Kotaru told her. "I bet they'll make you feel a whole lot better."

"Maybe..."

"And you know…even though it is hard, maybe you should tell them about your nightmares, too." Mika suggested.

Yuki looked down, her chest feeling heavier.

"You still get them?" Haru asked.

Yuki nodded, the replay of those memories haunting her just a few days ago.

"Well, I think they'll really be able to help with that, too. I know my mom's always help me whenever I have a bad dream."

Honestly, the idea of telling them did sound pleasant. She had kept it to herself for so long that the weight of it all was getting heavier and heavier. However, she knew what also came along in telling them, that being the explanation of her past…and she wasn't sure if she was ready to do that yet.

"Well, whatever you choose do to, we'll be right by your side Yuki-chan."

The sincerity of Mika's voice caused her to look up again, three trusting and encouraging faces looking back.

"R-Really?"

"Of course!" Kotaru said back. "You're our best friend Yuki-chan!"

"And we will support you through anything." Haru added. "We promise."

A small smile appeared on Yuki's face, her chest warming right up. She now saw what it was like to have real friends.

"Thank you, everyone." She replied, her smile unwavering. "Thank you.."

* * *

As the day progressed on, Yuki started having a bit more fun, temporarily forgetting about her guilt and enjoying herself. After the hike, she got the chance to go fishing, play games, and even helped build the fire, and by the time night hit, she was in a really good mood.

"_So many things happened today_." She thought as she went into her tent to fetch a sweatshirt. Even though she didn't catch anything, the whole fishing experience was fun, and she had been real proud of the campfire she helped build with Yaya and Amane. "_And now I get to have s'mores! I bet they'll be real good…"_

After slipping on her baby blue sweatshirt, she exited the tent, stopping for a moment to take in the smell of the forest.

"_I'm really glad I agreed to this..._"

After a few more moments, she continued on, the sound of the crackling campfire calling for her.

"_This is going to be so great! I have always wanted to-_"

Her thoughts came to a sudden standstill when the campfire came into sight, her body stopping as well.

"_Wow…just...look at them all._"

There surrounding the fire was the rest of the crew, with the exception of Miyuki and Shizuma, each child sitting with their respective family. They all seemed just so content just being in each other's presence, all talking and making jokes as if they had no care in the world.

"_They're just…happy. Really happy, and they all fit so well together, too_."

It was this thought that caused her heart to sink, her eyes still observing the close knit group quietly. She could easily tell that the adults were all close friends from the way they talked and joked with each other. She could also tell her friends were very close to their parents, too, the loving looks and actions of the older women a huge give away. Mika, who was sitting in Hikari's lap, looked so comfortable snuggling there, the two women exact look a likes. Same hair, same eyes, same facial features...everything. Kotaru was sitting in between his parents, the boy, whose looks came from Tsubomi, telling some form of story that left the two women laughing. Haru was in her mother's lap like Mika, Tamao holding her close as she spoke to Nagisa.

"_Beautiful…just beautiful_…"

She couldn't help but be in awe at the sight in front of her. There was just so much love, friendship, warmth…

"_So much…from everyone, but…but where do I fit in_?"

This made her heart sink even more. She wasn't like her friends. She didn't have parents she could sit or joke with. She didn't have a safe place to run to.

"_What about Shizuma and Nagisa. You have them_."

But did she? Could she really say that about them? She did hurt them after all, and even though her friends said that she was probably forgiven, she had trouble letting it go.

"_Because…because none of it makes any sense to me. I don't fit in like they do...I don't even belong here…or anywhere."_

She took a few steps back, suddenly second guessing her idea of joining them.

_"I think…maybe I should just sleep for the night. This looks like more of a family thing anyways and...I.."_

Yeah, returning to the tent sounded like a better idea.

"I wouldn't want to interfere. Maybe I can just-oomph!"

As she was turning to head back, she accidentally bumped into something, that something actually being a someone.

"Yuki-chan?"

Looking up, she found herself facing Haru's other mom, the woman looking a little confused.

"Miyuki…I'm sorry, I was just..."

"No no, it's ok. You all right?"

"Yeah, I was just heading back to the tent…"

"The tent? But I thought you were excited to sit by the fire?"

"I was. I mean, I am…I mean….I don't know…"

"Are you not enjoying yourself?"

"No, I am! Really, I just feel like it is a little better to settle in the tent for the night."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah..."

"Why so?"

"I just feel that way."

"But there has to be a reason…"

"There isn't…"

"But Yuki-"

"I just don't fit in there, ok?"

Her mind was just spinning so much from the twenty questions and from her emotions that those last few words were blurted out, a blush growing on her face the moment she said it.

"I…I..."

Miyuki's look of concern softened a bit, the woman reaching out and gently placing her hand on Yuki's head.

"M-Miyuki..."

The older female then smiled, nodding her head to the side.

"Come on. Walk with me."

Although a little confused, she followed beside her, the moon serving as their light while they traveled down a path in the woods.

"So tell me, why don't you think you fit in?"

Yuki just shrugged.

"I don't know…I just don't"

"There's no reason at all?"

The girl sighed as she thought.

"I don't fit in because…I'm different."

"Everyone is different. That's what makes a person unique."

"Well, I'm a different kind of different."

"How so?"

"Because I don't have a family."

More words she didn't mean to say, yet they had slipped off her tongue before her brain could stop her. Although her heart and mind were always at it, even her head knew it was time to stop holding certain things in.

"You don't?"

Yuki's brows furrowed at the question, eying the woman as if she was a little crazy.

"Uh, no. You know that. I'm an orphan."

"What about Nagisa and Shizuma, then?"

"Well, they're not my family. They're only my temporary guardians."

"Oh, I see." Miyuki replied. "Temporary guardians…hmm. Well, I suppose you are right. It makes sense to think that way. Though I wonder, while you view them as temporary guardians, do you think they view you as merely a temporary child?"

Yuki looked back down at the ground.

"Yes?"

"You seem unsure."

Yuki said nothing back, not knowing how to reply. Her mind said that her guardians did view her as nothing but a temporary child, but her heart reminded her of all the sweet things they did for her and how they treated her, telling her otherwise.

"You claim to have no family, and that Shizuma and Nagisa are just temporary guardians, and if that is what you truly believe, then so be it. But did it ever occur to you that maybe, even if you feel this way, that they view you as not just a temporary child, but as family?"

Yuki stopped in her tracks, her heart doing flips and her mind getting all flustered when she heard this.

"_Did it ever occur to you that maybe, even if you don't feel this way, that they view you as not just a temporary child, but as family?"_

Family? Why would they do that? That wouldn't make any sense at all. There may have been a part of her that knew they didn't just view her as a temporary kid, but as family?

"_No way…they wouldn't look at me like that. They couldn't…_"

Taking off again, she ran to catch up with Miyuki, stopping when she was by her side.

"What do you mean by that?"

The words just didn't process in her mind correctly as they really made no sense at all. Not to mention there was the shock factor of Miyuki even saying it.

"I mean exactly as I said. Did it ever occur to you, even if you think differently, that Nagisa and Shizuma view you as family?"

The woman's voice was gentle but firm, Miyuki wanting to comfort Yuki but also make her understand and see her point as well.

"M-me? Family to them? N-no…that's not possible."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not really theirs!"

Yuki knew they couldn't see her like that. There was just no way they could. Or could they, and she was just too afraid to admit it to herself?

"Yuki…"

Miyuki knelt down to the child's height, black eyes locked onto green ones.

"Whether or not you are theirs by blood doesn't mean a thing. Blood is the least of what makes a family. It's love that counts."

Yuki's heart stopped once more.

"L-love?"

There was that word again, more confusion spilling into her heart as her eyes fell to the ground.

"_But if love is what makes a family, then that still wouldn't count for me. They don't love me. I haven't been there long enough…_"

It was then Kotaru's earlier words went through her mind.

"_Ne, you think there is a time limit on how long it takes a mother to love a child?"_

Her heart was now all over the place, a mixture of emotions swimming through her chest as she thought.

"_If what Kotaru says is true, and with what Miyuki is telling me, could they…could they really look at me like that? Could they really love me?_"

Yuki looked back up at the woman, those black eyes still gentle yet strong.

"Yes, love Yuki-chan. They love you, and I know they do their best to show it."

Miyuki's confirmation of the ten year old's silent thoughts suddenly made her feel over whelmed, Yuki taking a step back.

"N-no…you're wrong. They c-can't…"

"And why not?"

"Because…because I hurt them!"

She knew that these words wouldn't quite make sense to the other, but they just came out, guilt taking over again. Little did she know…

"Are you talking about what happened between you, Nagisa, and Shizuma after we met in the mall?"

Yuki shot a confused gaze when she heard these words.

"You…you know about that?"

"Shizuma spoke to me about it."

Yuki's eyes fell to the ground again, memories from that day flooding back in. Her gaze only rose again when Miyuki spoke once more.

"Yuki, I need you to listen to me, all right? You are family to them whether you believe it or not, and the one thing you need to understand about families is that sometimes, they hurt each other without meaning to. Arguments happen, tears are shed…but when these moments occur, it doesn't mean they are not a family anymore. It doesn't mean there is no more love. There is always love no matter how bumpy the road gets, and at the end of the day, the love of a family is so strong that it over comes the struggles, the rough times forgiven and gone. That's how it is here. You three may face some struggles in the future, but you'll get through it because you're a family."

Yuki wanted to look away again, but Miyuki wouldn't let her, the woman lifting the child's head gently by her chin. Miyuki was speaking as if her and her guardians were a real family, and she was unsure of what to make of it.

"Yuki, you _are_ family to them. Truly, and I can honestly say that the events of that day are very much forgiven. If you don't believe me, why don't you find out for yourself?"

It was then Miyuki turned her head to the side. Following her gaze, Yuki saw that they were at the lake her and her friends were fishing at earlier that day, and at the very bottom of the grassy hill stood a very familiar figure.

"_Shizuma_…"

"Go talk to her."

Yuki's gaze whipped back to the black haired female, slight worry and fear in her eyes.

"Wh-what? But…I can't."

"You can." She replied softly. "I know you can. Look, I know the idea of family is a scary thing for you, and I'm not going to force you to believe my words when I say that they do view you in that way. In fact, I never would for it's something I want you to truly learn for yourself."

Yuki thought about this for a moment, her mind still confused. Even though the signs were right in front of her, those signs being the constant affection and care Shizuma and Nagisa gave, she was still completely oblivious, not seeing how much they really did look to her like family…or rather, she was not _letting _herself see it.

"They really aren't upset at what happened." Miyuki told her. "Trust me. Go talk to her and you'll see."

Yuki looked back at Shizuma, letting out a small sigh. She was extremely nervous, but at the same time, she wanted to know if Miyuki and her friends were right about her being forgiven.

"Yeah…"

Miyuki flashed a small smile, her gaze encouraging.

"Good girl. You'll see all is well. I'll leave you to it then, and know I believe in you. Good luck Yuki-chan."

She then ruffled the girl's hair gently before walking away. A few steps in however, she stopped, turning back to look at the child.

"Yuki-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Earlier, you said that you don't fit in. Now, I feel otherwise because you have many people back there who are very fond of you. However, if you still feel that way, I can tell you of one place where I know you will always fit in."

"Where's that?" Yuki asked, slightly intrigued.

She nodded her head towards Shizuma.

"Right in her arms."

And with that, she turned and left.

If Yuki's heart wasn't already in shock, then Miyuki's final words sure did her in.

"_What the…I…I…no…I can't handle all of this right now."_

Her mind was already filled up with twenty different thoughts…the idea of them looking at her like family, the idea of them loving her, whether or not they truly forgave her…she didn't need any more thoughts coming in and making her brain hurt.

"_Just focus on one thing at a time…and my thoughts need to be on whether or not they have really forgiven me. I saw the hurt in their eyes that day…could they have really gotten over it that quickly?_"

After a few more moments of clearing her head, the girl finally made the walk down the hill, her pace slow as more thoughts tore through her mind.

"_All Shizuma wanted to do was help me that day, and I snapped, and I ruined the cake Nagisa worked so hard on. They should have been angry and upset…and they should have gotten tired of me and wanted to send me back, too, but they didn't. Why not?_"

Like so many other things, she didn't understand.

"Shi…Shizuma?"

The woman turned around, a little shocked to see the girl a few feet from her, but she smiled none the less.

"Hey you." She said. "I thought you'd be with the others."

Yuki shuffled in place, her shyness kicking in as it always did when she was alone with one of them.

"I was...I just…and…"

Shizuma couldn't help but giggle, finding the sight of the girl getting flustered too adorable.

"Come here."

Though feeling all embarrassed, she did as she was told, walking over to the other and stopping by her side.

"It's so peaceful out here." She said, looking back up at the sky. "And beautiful. Just look at the stars."

Yuki followed the woman's gaze, her eyes in awe at the sight before her.

"There's so many..."

"Millions." Shizuma said back.

"And it's so big. It is pretty, yes, but at the same time, it makes me feel…small…alone even."

Shizuma looked down at the young female, a sadness appearing in her eyes when she heard this. Yuki looked down as well and saw the gaze, blushing again and turning away.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be."

Looking out at the water, the girl let out a sigh. The look Shizuma had given her reminded her of that night three weeks before, and now, she just had to know…

"Shizuma?"

"Yes?"

"How come you and Nagisa aren't mad at me?"

Shizuma, whose gaze had returned to the sky, looked down at the little girl again, their eyes meeting.

"What?"

"Why aren't you guys mad at me for what I did to you both before. You know, the day you took me out and Nagisa made that cake."

She remembered the day well, and though it had been sad, she and Nagisa weren't at all mad about it.

"You thought we'd be mad?"

Yuki furrowed her brows.

"Of course. I hurt the both of you. I saw the look you both had…you were supposed to be mad, but the next day, you both acted like nothing had happened. You didn't yell, you didn't seem upset…and you were supposed to be."

Her heart was all sorts of conflicted, her mind unable to make sense of their actions. She had done bad things like this in the past and had always gotten in trouble. Why was this time any different?

Seeing the look on her face, the child's eyes full of confusion and a deep hidden pain, she sighed, turning to face her now.

"Yuki…you truly thought we would be angry at you?"

"Well…y-yes…"

Kneeling down to the girl's height, she reached out and tucked some of her silver locks behind her ear.

"Let me ask you something. Did you wake up that morning planning to hurt us?"

"…No."

"When I brought up your bad dreams in the car, did you plan on hurting me then as a way to give yourself a chance to run?"

"No…"

"Why did you get so worked up and run?"

"I…I was scared."

"And did you plan to purposely knock into Nagisa, in turn purposely making her drop the cake as well?"

"Of course not. I didn't mean to."

"I know…you were just trying to run upstairs. Why were you running that time?"

"I was still scared."

"Exactly."

Yuki was not one to admit she was scared of anything, but her heart was in knots at this point, her emotions getting the best of her.

"Everything you did was because you were scared. Look, I know you have had a really hard life. It has never been an easy journey for you, so I don't blame you at all for being scared of certain things. I don't blame you for acting the way you do or for shutting others out because you are scared. If I were in your position, I would feel the same way, too. Yuki, whenever I see you frightened, I feel many things…sadness, and ache to help you, and ache to comfort you and feel safe…but trust me when I say that out of everything I feel, anger is not one of them."

Yuki studied her face carefully, seeing nothing but sincerity and warmth in return.

"So…you're really not mad?"

"Not at all."

"And…that means you don't want to send me back early after all?"

This had been the biggest thing she had been afraid of, but hadn't mentioned it to anyone else. She had been so scared that night at the thought of it, for even if she didn't admit it, she loved being there and didn't want to leave…not yet.

"_Not ever…_" But that thought was ignored.

"What? Send you back early?" Shizuma's heart snapped in two. "Were you under the impression that we were going to?"

Yuki looked down at the ground, shrugging in reply.

"Well…I thought you'd both be so mad that you wouldn't want to deal with me anymore…"

"Yuki…honey no, that thought hadn't even crossed our minds. Look at me."

Feeling Shizuma lift her chin, she locked gazes with the other, a small blush gracing her cheeks.

"We would never dream of sending you back over something like that. And even if we do get angry at each other in the future, we still wouldn't send you away. We'd get through every bump together. Yuki, you have to understand how important and significant you are. You are not someone who can easily be tossed aside."

Yuki's blush grew more.

"We care about you, Yuki. So very much, and we don't want you to ever forget that."

Yuki had to look away at this, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She quickly got rid of it though and told herself not to cry, for if she did, she knew she would never stop.

"So…everything's ok now?"

"Very ok sweetie. You have nothing to worry about."

Feeling shy, she looked down and shuffled in place.

"About that day…" she said softly. "I really did want to tell you about the nightmares I have been having…or rather, I still want to tell you. But you're right, I'm scared. I don't know how to share it simply because, well, once upon a time, those nightmares were real. The nightmares I have are about my past, and…I don't know how to talk about it yet. Kira knows because she became my social worker right after the event I dream about…she became it because during it I lost my…"

She couldn't quite finish her sentence.

"Your mother and father?"

Yuki shook her head.

"No actually. My mother and my aunt. My father left when I was a baby. He left because…because…"

Now she couldn't say anymore, old images and words haunting her mind.

"Shhh." Shizuma said gently, trying to comfort the girl. "Don't force yourself to share something when you're not ready. I promise, it's all right. Take your time, we'll both be here when you're ready to share it."

Yuki nodded, wiping away another stray tear.

"I just…I lost both my mother and my aunt that night, so talking about it scares me…"

"Losing someone in your life is a scary thing, and a hard thing to deal with."

It _had _been hard for the girl…harder than most people thought.

"Trust me, I know. I've lost someone, too."

Yuki, who had still been eying the ground, looked up, her brows furrowing as she listened.

"You…have?"

Shizuma nodded. No, it wasn't time to share the story about Sayuri for she knew the child was still insecure and scared of many things involving families, but there was another story she could share.

"When I was younger, before I met Nagisa, I was in love with another girl."

Yuki listened intently, curious on what she was going to say.

"Her name was Kaori."

"Kaori…" Yuki whispered.

"Yes…Kaori. I met her at St. Miator's. She was a transfer student who had been very sick all her life. Her body was often weak, but despite all of that, she kept smiling. I couldn't help but fall in love."

"What happened?"

"Well, one year later, her sickness got worse, and in the end, she passed away."

Yuki's heart sunk when she heard this.

"That beautiful girl left my life, and I was devastated for a very long time. All I could think about was her."

The thought of Shizuma hurting like that killed her.

"_But then…she knows how it feels to lose someone. She knows what it's like to see someone die._"

"I had a very hard time getting over that, but then…then I met Nagisa, and she brought color back into my gray world. She taught me how to love again, and I'll be honest with you, that woman saved my life."

Yuki's sunken heart warmed up a little when she heard this. Never had she seen two people love each other the way those two did, and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever witnessed. Though, knowing that and now hearing this story brought up another question.

"Do you still love Kaori like that?"

Shizuma held Yuki's hand gently in her own.

"Kaori will always have a special place in my heart, but Nagisa is my life. Don't ever think for a second that I don't love Nagisa. I love my wife more than life itself, and I always will. She's my world."

The woman then smiled a bit more, gently rubbing the back of the girl's hand.

"Well, she's not the only one who is my world...there is her and one other."

Yuki gave her a questioning look.

"Who?"

"You silly. You're my world, too."

Now, if the ice around her heart hadn't already broken from some of Shizuma's words that night, it did the moment she heard this, her chest flaring up more than it ever had since her arrival. Everything just seemed to click. The two women found her special, they wanted her to be happy, and they really did care. Her heart and mind were finally in agreement. Yes, the thought of family still scared her and many fears still lived inside of her, but that ray of hope in regards to someone loving her the way the other two did came back…the ray of hope that family was indeed still possible.

"_I'm cared for…I mean something to someone."_

Her heart could barely contain the joy.

"Anyways, I suppose the others will be wondering where we are. Shall we head back?"

Shizuma then went to stand up, but before she could, the little girl stopped her.

"Yuki? Is everything ok?"

"_I'm cared for…I'm cared for…_"

"Yuki-chan, what's w-"

Before the woman could finish her sentence, an unexpected thing happened, leaving Shizuma to be the one blushing.

"Yuki…"

Out of nowhere, the girl wrapped her little arms around the woman's neck, the Shizuma soon finding herself in a very tight hug. Even Yuki herself was shocked at this, but she didn't care. Something in her had broken, and the only thing she wanted now was to be in the other's arms.

"My Yuki…"

Shizuma, with her eyes all glazed up, smiled and hugged the girl in return, rubbing her back and kissing her on the head.

"My little Yuki. It's all right baby, it's all right."

Yuki could say nothing, her words caught in her throat. So instead, she just hugged a little tighter, getting lost in the welcoming warmth and sweet scent of the other.

After a few more moments, they finally pulled apart, a deep shy blush on Yuki's face and a happy smile on Shizuma's.

"That was beautiful, sweetheart." She said gently. "So very beautiful. You just made my whole night. I'm very touched and very proud of you, Yuki."

The girl just looked away, her small hand back in Shizuma's. Yuki's first given hug….it was definitely a memory she would never forget.

"You know…she was right…"

These words came from Yuki, a sudden realization hitting her.

"I do fit."

"Who was right?"

"Miyuki. She was the one who brought me here and gave me the courage to speak to you in the first place. She brought me here because she found me wandering away from the fire where the others were sitting. When she asked me why, I told her it was because I felt like I didn't fit it. But then, before she left me here, she said something to me. She said that no matter what I think, I do fit in with everyone else, but that if for someone reason I really didn't believe it, then there was one place I would fit in no matter what."

"And where was that?"

"Your arms…"

This was not the answer she was expecting, and when she heard the reply, her eyes glazed right back up, a few tears escaping her.

"Yuki…"

Craving it again, she reached out and hugged the woman once more, Shizuma happily hugging back. She would definitely need to thank Miyuki later for this.

"I fit…"

"You do, sweetie." Shizuma replied, kissing the girl again. "And you always will."

They stayed that way for a little, Yuki taking in everything she could.

"You know, I know someone else who would enjoy one of your hugs." Shizuma said softly after a few moments. It was then the two pulled away, the twin colored eyes meeting, a small smile appearing on Yuki's face.

"Shall we, little girl?"

* * *

"I wonder where they are…"

Nagisa, who has been speaking with Tamao this whole time, soon came to realize that Shizuma and Yuki were not by the fire. Worried, she had gone to the tent in hopes of locating them, but found no one there.

"I hope they're all right…" she said quietly as she stepped back out. "I can't think of where they would-"

"Nagisa!"

Turning around, she found that the two people she had been looking for walking in her direction.

"Yuki? Shizuma?"

"Nagisa!"

It was the little one who was calling her name, Yuki breaking into a run as soon as she spotted her. Her heart was too light to control the happiness. She knew what she wanted, and for once, she wasn't afraid to get it.

"There you guys are. I was beginning to worry that-oomph!"

She had clearly seen the girl running towards her, but what she wasn't expecting was catching the girl in her arms, Yuki hugging her close.

"Y-Yuki-chan!"

"Nagisa…I missed you…"

The woman was in complete shock, but after a few moments, and especially after hearing those words, she melted, instantly wrapping the girl up right back.

"Aww…Yuki-chan…I missed you, too."

Nagisa glanced up at her wife as the two were hugging, Shizuma beaming at the sight.

When the two eventually pulled away, the girl looked up at the other with apologetic eyes.

"I know this is late and I should have said it sooner, but I'm sorry about the cake. I really didn't mean to mess it up."

Nagisa was a little taken aback at these words. In all honesty, she had forgotten about it.

"Yuki, it's all right. I-"

"No…please…"

Even though she knew they weren't mad and that everything was ok, she still wanted to apologize, Nagisa clearly seeing that in her eyes.

"Honey…it's ok." She whispered, stroking her cheek gently. "It's all ok. I promise."

Smiling back, Yuki hugged the woman once more, Nagisa almost in tears.

When they finally let go, the red head leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.

"That hug was wonderful, Yuki-chan. I loved it very much. I look forward to more hugs like that in the future."

Yuki merely blushed, a bit of shyness kicking in again, Nagisa finding it to be very cute.

"All right then, love. They're about to start making some s'mores over there. Why don't you change into some pajamas and we can go enjoy them together?"

Yuki nodded.

"All right. I'll be right back."

And with that, she disappeared inside the tent.

When the girl had gone, the two women embraced each other, happy smiles on both of their faces.

"She hugged me…" Nagisa said.

"She did…and she hugged me, too."

The two women held each other tighter.

"It's working…" Nagisa whispered, a tear falling down her face. "It's working."

* * *

Back in the tent, Yuki was rushing to get changed, wanting nothing more than to be with the two women and her friends.

"_I'm happy…_" she said as she slipped on some night shorts. "_I'm really, really happy. I'm still not sure about this whole family thing, but you know, maybe it's not such a bad idea after all. Maybe families are ok. And those hugs…those hugs felt so good. I-"_

Being in so much of a rush, she accidently knocked over one of Nagisa's small bags.

"Oops…"

Picking the items all up, she began to carefully place them back where they belonged, however, as she did so, one certain item caught her eye.

"_Ne…what's this?"_

Picking it up, she found it to be a picture, an old one at that judging by the slightly frayed sides. As she glanced closer, she realized it was a picture of a little girl, probably five or six at the most.

"_I wonder who this is._" She thought. "_They've never mentioned anything about another girl. Maybe it's their niece or something…strange though, she looks exactly like Nagisa…."_

And she did. Same hair, same eyes, even the same smile.

"_But who is it?_"

"Yuki-chaaaaaaaan!"

The sound of Haru's voice snapped her back, and without a second thought, she put the picture back inside of the bag and ran out.

"_Today has been amazing._" She thought as she joined back with the two women, Haru also there to meet her. "_Yeah, I'm still scared, but maybe…maybe I don't have to be anymore. Maybe…maybe everything's really going to be ok. Maybe…_"

She let her thoughts go when the group finally met up with the others, a warm fire and happy faces waiting for them. No bad thoughts could kill her night anymore. For once, she was really happy, and she was finally going to let herself enjoy it.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: PLEASE READ! XD I apologize for the lateness of this chapter. To sum it up, after the last chapter, I took a 2 day break, then mother's day weekend hit at work and I was lucky enough I remembered how to breathe, lol! Then I had to work the whole week, then I went on vacation Thursday (which was earlier than I planned) so now, I am in Florida as I write this! Needless to say I have been super busy, but even on vacation I worked on this and here it is! I hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Seven: Nightmares

The day Yuki Himeko freely gave a hug was considered a milestone in the eyes of the two women who watched over her. Even Kira was shocked as no family had ever gotten that far. The young girl was changing, her days filled with more happiness that worry or fear. Granted, there were still some things she couldn't do such as snuggling or giving kisses, but they didn't mind that too much. They were just happy Yuki was making progress and that she was slowly starting to understand that she was cared for and safe.

"_They have never felt so good before…_" she thought one day as Nagisa pulled her into a warm embrace. And they hadn't. No hug had ever felt so warm or so true than the ones she received from her guardians. Theirs were special and she felt so secure every time she melted into one. In fact, she had started liking them so much that she herself began grabbing one at any given chance. She actually became a bit worried that she went for hugs too much, but the happy and welcoming smiles of the other two always told her otherwise.

"_Their hugs make me so happy…and seeing their smiles because of it makes me happy, too, but…I wish…"_

Yes, her days were happier than before, but fear and doubt still swam throughout her mind and heart. They had a tendency to bother her when life got too good, whispering dark and doubtful thoughts that would leave her insecure again. For the ten year old, if everything seemed to be going too perfect, then that meant bad things were going to happen as she knew she wasn't lucky enough to have a good life. The constant nightmares didn't help her state of mind either, the dreams supporting her unspoken fears. She thought, with it being October now, that her nightmares would fade away, but they were still there, killing her sleep and killing her ability to stay happy. When the nightmares would happen though, Shizuma and Nagisa would be right there to comfort her. They could always tell when they hit, the two sometimes finding her sitting in the living room in the middle of the night or exhausted and almost in tears when they woke her for school in the morning. In these events, extra hugs and kisses were always given, sweet words often whispered into her ear. It did bring great comfort to the young child, but it didn't quite keep the dreams at bay. Wanting to help more, both Nagisa and Shizuma even asked the girl to sleep with them at night, explaining that perhaps if she wasn't alone, they would stay away. Now, that idea actually sounded great to Yuki, the thought of sleeping in bed with the two highly comforting, but she would always decline in the end. One, she knew it would involve snuggling of some sort, and she really couldn't bring herself to do that yet. And two, she felt bad, not wanting to disturb the woman's alone time together. Not to mention it made her look and feel childish. She didn't want to seem like a needy kid who needed to sleep with parental like figures to make her bad dreams go away. No…no, she would do it herself. She would work with it and find some way to make them stop. But, how long would they go on before the young Yuki would realize that getting help for them wasn't a bad thing?

"_Get over here you worthless excuse of a child!"_

_ Yuki cried out in pain as her mother lifted her by her silver hair, dragging her across the wooden living room floor._

_ "Mommy! Let go!"_

_ "Shut it!"_

_ "It hurts!"_

_ "Who cares if it hurts!?"_

_ She felt her mother tug tighter before throwing her down, the tiny body toppling on the ground._

_ "You know what hurts? All the shit I've had to put up with since you were born! Your father leaving, my sister always digging her nose into my business of how I raise your sorry ass…everyone is always against me…me!"_

_ Her mother picked her up by the hair again, leaning in so close that the strong scent of alcohol from the woman's breath nearly gagged the six year old._

_ "Don't tell me it hurts! You know nothing about what real pain is, so shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you!"_

_ She then dragged the girl a little further before tossing her into a closet._

_ "I don't want to see your face any more tonight, or for a while. You sleep and stay in there."_

_ "Wait! Mommy no!"_

_ "I said shut your mouth!"_

_ "Mommy please!"_

_ "Get away from her!"_

_ That was a sound neither Yuki or her mom was expecting, the woman cursing and staggering around to see who was speaking._

_ "Get away from her now!"_

_ Yuki's eyes widened when she saw that the speaker was none other than her Aunt. She really had comeand seeing her caused a small ray of hope to form in her chest. _

_"You bitch...get out of here."_

_"You've gone too far this time..."_

_"I said go!"_

_To emphasize this statement, she threw the bottle towards her sisters directions, the glass spraying everywhere when it missed it's intended target and hit the wall._

_"Out!"_

"Yuki?"

The ten year old snapped awake, gasping loudly as she shot up in bed.

"Darling, are you all right?"

Fearful eyes dotted about the room in a panicked fashion until they came upon a familiar face.

"Shi-Shizuma?"

The woman walked in closer and sat beside the young girl, reaching out to stroke her cheek and calm her.

"Yes love, it's me. I'm right here."

Yuki's breathing seemed to calm a bit, but the look on her face showed Shizuma that she was still a bit shaken up. The look also told her exactly what had happened.

"It was your nightmares again, wasn't it?"

Yuki's gaze fell, her silence answering Shizuma's question immediately. It was the third time that week. How many times all together she did not know, but more than she had wished for the little girl. What triggered it was something no one knew either, not even Yuki herself. They just came, the reaction the child had from their constant arrivals breaking the hearts of both women every time.

"Aww baby, come here…"

Scooting closer, she pulled the girl into a tight hug, rubbing her back softly and kissing the side of her head.

"It's all right, little one." She whispered. "It's all right."

At first, Yuki was a little tense, but after a good ten seconds, she melted right into the embrace, even nuzzling into the woman's chest, her hands grasping gently onto the sleeves of the black dress the other was wearing. Shizuma could feel the stress flow out of the girl, smiling as the child became relaxed. It felt so good to be able to help in some way…to offer comfort to a girl they cared for very much, her heart, along with her wife's, speaking words that had yet to say out loud.

"My Yuki…"

She hugged her tighter and gave her another kiss, rubbing her back still as they sat there.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Deep green eyes looked up at the other, her gaze slightly glazed. Oh how safe she felt right in that moment, wrapped up in a hug so warm that she couldn't even dream of leaving it.

"_Do I…want to talk about it?"_

The need and desire to grew more and more every day. The affection and care both women gave her had begun melting the ice around her heart, the realization setting in that, perhaps, family wasn't a bad thing after all.

"_But…can I really call them that? Miyuki said they already look at me like family, and Shizuma and Nagisa call me their Yuki…but, in the end, they're not officially mine. I leave them after Christmas…and anyways, do I even have a right to a family?_"

The dark secret she kept all these years tugged at her heart, her nightmares a constant reminder of the reason why family couldn't exist for her.

"_I know I want it…but, I can't. I can't have a family because…because…_"

She hid her face back in the woman's chest. Yes, there was so much she wanted to talk about and wanted to share, but…

"No. No…I'm all right."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Shizuma was hoping the girl would talk, but it seemed she was still not yet ready.

"_All in good time._" Shizuma thought, willing to wait as long as she needed to. "_All in good time._"

After a few more moments, Yuki finally pulled away, the girl shifting in place slightly as she leaned back against the head board. Shizuma couldn't help but giggle at this simply because it was something Yuki always did when they were in a hug too long, the girl's dislike for snuggles still strong.

"Such a cutie." Shizuma said, reaching out to stroke her cheek again, Yuki in turn blushing as she had a stubborn moment.

"Am not…"

This only prodded the woman to giggle again, but she decided not to tease her…for now. Instead, she just patted Yuki's leg and winked.

"If you say so. Anyways little one, it's about time to get up. We've got that trip today, remember?"

"Oh yeah…"

She had almost forgotten about that. Normally, on Saturday's, they three would stay in and spend time together. Today, however, was different. Instead, her and her guardians would be visiting Astrea Hill for Shizuma and Nagisa had a mandatory staff meeting at St. Miator's. Even though they were on leave, they had to attend this as to keep themselves updated on any coming changes. The whole idea of it actually excited her as she had been wanting to take a visit.

"That's right. And don't forget, Haru and her parents are coming with us, too, so you two can explore and keep each other company."

It had turned out that Tamao and Miyuki worked at St. Miator's as well, Miyuki teaching high school English and Tamao teaching middle school French. And although she would never admit it, she was glad she would have Haru to hand around with. She liked the idea of exploring with a friend.

"We really are sorry we have to go in today."

"No, it's all right." Yuki said back. "Really. I have been wanting to visit anyways. When do we leave?"

"In a couple of hours."

"All right, I'll get ready then."

Shizuma smiled and leaned in to kiss the girl on the head once more.

"Good girl. I'll see you downstairs then."

And with that, Shizuma left and Yuki worked to get ready. In being alone though, her mind travelled back to the subject of families, worries tugging her heart once more. She knew and always told herself that family could never be a thing. She was doing really well keeping that thought process right up until she met her current caregivers, being with them slowly starting to mess with her mind.

"_I don't deserve a family…I know I don't…but if that is true…then why…"_

* * *

"_Ne…it looks like it's going to rain…"_

Yuki's eyes were glued to the sky as her, Haru, and the four adults passed through some gates, her hand in Nagisa's as they walked. The clouds were grey, and the wind passing through them proved to be a sign that a storm was coming in.

"You all right, Yuki-chan?"

Yuki's eyes fell from the sky and met with happy pink ones.

"Yeah. I'm ok. I was just thinking is all…looks like it is going to rain."

"It does, doesn't it?" Nagisa replied, now looking up as well. "Do you not like the rain?"

"No, I do. The sound is actually comforting."

And it was. She liked falling asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the roof.

"_Just as long as rain is the only thing I hear…"_

Yes, she did love the rain, but was not always a fan of the other things that came along with it.

"_Especially the…_"

"We're here!"

All six of them stopped in their tracks, a giant cathedral right in front of them. Yuki's eyes widened when she saw it, in complete awe at how beautiful it looked.

"_It's so big…_"

She had never seen a building so big in her life. All the buildings around her seemed huge.

"And this is where both you and Shizuma went to school?" she asked, looking back up at the red head.

"We did!" Nagisa answered, squeezing the little girl's hand, Shizuma joining them on Yuki's opposite side. "Tamao-chan and Miyuki-chan, too."

"And I heard all of the fun stories of them going here!" Haru added. "I can't wait to go here myself!"

"That will be an exciting day." Miyuki told her.

"It will!" Tamao said, swiping Haru up for a hug. "Aww, you'd be so cute in that uniform!"

Haru giggled.

"Ne…thank you, mom. You know who else would look adorable, too? You, Yuki-chan!"

Yuki blushed hard and became all flustered when she heard this.

"Wh-what? Me? No way!"

"You would!" Haru said back. "Aww, if we went together, then we could be roommates! And then I could help you dress and watch you sleep all of the time!"

"H-hey! You…b-baka!"

The now red faced female half hid behind Nagisa as the crew broke out into giggles, Shizuma sneaking up from behind and hugging her tight.

"Well, she is right. You would be very cute in a St. Miator's uniform."

"Shizuma…" the girl said lowly.

Giggling again, she gave the girl one last kiss before pulling away.

"All right." Shizuma told them. "We have to be off. Our meeting shouldn't take too long. You girls have fun and be safe, ok?"

"Ok." Yuki said back.

"And don't wander off too far." Miyuki added.

"We won't mom. See you later!"

And with their good byes exchanged, the adults went to their meeting, leaving both Haru and Yuki alone together.

"_Why must I always get teased?_" she asked herself, rubbing her temple. There was never a dull moment in her life.

"Yuki-chaaaaan!"

"Oh god…"

-_glomp-_

"Yuuuuki it's just you and me!"

"I can see that…"

"Aren't you excited?"

The girl simply let out a sigh, taking a nuzzle in the cheek from the over excited female.

"Ecstatic. Really. Can you let go now?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Aww….all right, but first…"

She knew the hug was making her feel funny, but she had to tease her a little more, and how did she do that? By placing a simple little kiss on her cheek. This action was something Yuki was not expecting. It shocked her so much that when she opened her mouth to speak, she only squeaked. She gathered her composure right after though, for in a matter of seconds, she pushed the girl off and freaked.

"You…you…BAKA!"

Haru laughed hard at this, loving Yuki's reaction, but she also knew that if she didn't do something right now, the girl would be after her in a heartbeat.

"Come on! I have somewhere I want to show you!"

"What?! No way, you listen here and-"

Yeah no. That so wasn't happening. Before she had a chance to finish her sentence, Haru had her by the hand and was running with her through the school yard.

"_I knew she was going to act like this…_" she thought, a blush still on her face from the kiss as they ran. Haru always liked to embarrass her like that and it drove her crazy, yet…she wouldn't have it any other way. "_Though…she really doesn't have to do it in front of Nagisa and Shizuma like that…ugh…this is going to be a long day."_

* * *

"So…what is this place? I mean, I know it's a green house, but why do they have one here?"

The two friends spent the last hour searching the school, Haru giving Yuki the tour of where the classrooms were, where the dorms were, the cafeteria, and other places as well. Now, Yuki and Haru were in a green house, both sitting at a small table and viewing the flowers around them. There were definitely many kinds, the room smelling wonderful and the sight quite pleasant to the eye.

"This greenhouse holds the flowers that represent every school." Haru answered. Yuki was amazed at how much she knew. Granted, her parents worked there, but still. "It's the Etoile's job to take care of these flowers."

"Etoile?"

"Mhm. You see, the Etoile is a pairing of two students who represent all three of the schools. Spica, Lulim, and St. Miator. Miyuki-kaa-chan told me it is a lot of work. Did you know that Shizuma was the Etoile here?"

Yuki, who had been gazing at the flowers still, now locked gazes with the other.

"Really? She was? Was she paired with Nagisa?"

"Actually…no." Haru said a little sadly. "She entered the Etoile election with someone named Kaori…I don't know if she mentioned her to you or not."

"She did…" Yuki said back, a little sad herself. She remembered Shizuma telling her that story the night of their camping trip and how much it had hurt her to lose the aforementioned girl.

"Yeah, they won together, but she died not long after, so Miyuki-kaa-chan helped her out. She met Nagisa-chan while she was still Etoile though."

"_Nagisa…Shizuma…_" There were still things she didn't know about them, and even though she was shy about it, she really wanted to learn more. "_I'll have to remember to ask them about it later. Actually, speaking of asking them things…I keep forgetting to ask this. I wonder if Haru knows."_

"Hey Haru-chan. I know this is a little random, but I have been wondering something. Do Nagisa and Shizuma have a niece?"

The night of the camping trip, she remembered finding a picture of that little girl in Nagisa's bag. She had been meaning to ask the women about her but always kept forgetting, other things popping in her mind.

"A niece?" Haru asked, furrowing her brows a bit. "I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"Well, remember that camping trip we took? When I was changing into some pajama pants, I accidently knocked over Nagisa's bag and a picture popped out. It was of a little girl who looked just like Nagisa."

As soon as she said those words, Haru's face almost went white, as if she were in shock that Yuki was even asking. Haru's bright look disappeared in an instant, leaving Yuki very confused.

"Hey, are you all right?"

"Uh...y-yeah…I was just…that girl…."

"Oh, so you know her then? Who is she? I assumed she was related to Nagisa in some way or something because she has her looks."

"Y-yeah…niece…um, I don't really know…I mean, I don't remember her name. Sh-she doesn't talk about her often and…"

Something was really wrong with Haru now, her words all stuttered up and her eyes full of not only shock, but sadness as well.

"They don't talk about her? And you don't remember her name?"

"N-no…distant…um…not even from Japan…"

"That's…weird. I wouldn't take them as people who wouldn't talk about someone that was their niece, especially since she looks so much like Nagisa. Are you sure-"

"Speaking of Nagisa and Shizuma, Yuki-chan, why do you hate snuggling?"

The question had taken her completely off guard. One minute they were talking about this mysterious niece of Nagisa's and Shizuma's, and the next, snuggling?

"Wait…what?"

"I asked why you hate snuggling?" Haru replied quickly, wanting to change the subject. "I mean, you like hugs now don't you? Snuggling is like a never ending hug, so wouldn't you like them?"

A small blush appeared on her face, the previous thought of the girl forgotten all together with the new series of questions.

"No, because…I just don't. It's not really a big deal. There are a lot of things I don't like. For example, although they kiss me all the time, I don't kiss back, and although they tell me how special I am and how much they care about me, I never return the same words. Snuggling is the same. I just don't do it."

"But there has to be some reason why." Haru prodded. "Haven't you ever snuggled before?"

"A little, but that was a really long time ago. I think I was around five at the time, but-"

"Didn't you like it then?"

"M-maybe…I don't know, I-"

"So why don't you like it now?"

"Jeeze! What's with all the questions?"

Yuki's words were snappier than she had intended, and she could tell by the apologetic look on her friends face.

"I'm sorry…"

"No…no. I'm sorry." Yuki told her, immediately regretting the tone she had previously used. "I didn't mean to snap. It's just…the reason why I hate snuggles is complicated and stupid so…"

"Nothing you ever say is stupid, Yuki-chan."

Yuki actually blushed a little when she heard this, slightly touched by Haru's softness, in turn making her more apt to speak.

"It's just…well…" She let out a small sigh. "Look, it's not that I hate them. I'm just…too scared to do it. You see, with hugs, I can have a quick moment of affection time…a quick moment of weakness, but then I can return to my usual self right after. But if I stay in a hug too long, that weakness feeling I have stays. I feel…vulnerable, like I am not so tough anymore. My guard goes completely down, and when it does, I get scared. You're right, snuggling is like a never ending hug, and in knowing that, you can see why I can never bring myself to do it. I am afraid to be vulnerable around them."

Haru was silent as she listened, quietly taking in everything the girl was saying.

"I don't really like feeling weak or vulnerable around people. It's a side that I don't like letting others see."

"I see…" Haru said softly. "That's understandable. Though, I must admit…that must be exhausting."

Yuki furrowed her brows as she locked gazes with the other.

"Exhausting?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "I know that feeling you are talking about. When you are in someone's arms, allowing them to hold you in a loving way, you are showing that you trust them fully. You show them a softer and weaker side to yourself. That is a scary thing, yes, but…isn't it nice to have someone you can be like that with?"

Yuki's eyes widened a bit, her heart clenching as she listened.

"I feel like I would get tired of always trying to be tough. It sounds like hard work, and in a way, you're keeping people out, so doesn't it get lonely? You're not letting them see that side of you, and not letting them get that close. You're not trusting them. That's why I feel that having weak moments with someone who loves you is a good thing…that allowing someone to hold you and see your true self without judging is a relief. Like, whenever my mom's hold me, I just…melt. I feel comforted because I know that's the one place in the world I will always be safe in. Every bad feeling I have goes away and I feel happy again. I can also feel how much they love me when I'm held, too, and that makes me feel even happier. So, while I feel that being vulnerable and having weak moments can be scary, it can also feel good if you have those moments with the right person."

Yuki looked away from the other, a new feeling, along with shock, swimming around her heart.

"_Being vulnerable with the right person is…a good thing?"_

Yuki had never really thought about it that way before. Maybe, just maybe, it _was_ a little exhausting being tough all the time…and a little lonely. Because of her fear, she had pushed away things like snuggling, allowing her to never feel how good it could be if she gave in. Yes, there was a part of her that wanted to sink into the arms of Nagisa and Shizuma, but…she was just scared.

"_It's really all right to feel that? It's really ok to show that side?_"

"Hey you two."

Looking to the side, the kids found that they had been joined by Tamao, Haru nearly flying from her seat to greet the woman.

"Mommy!" she said, jetting into the woman's arms, Tamao giggling and happily hugging back.

"Hey little lady!"

"Are you guys done now?"

"We are! I told everyone I would go on and find you two because we are about to have lunch in the cafeteria." She told them, now looking up at the still seated Yuki. "Took a little bit, but here you are! Did you guys have fun?"

Yuki nodded, her mind still a little fuzzy from the conversation her and Haru had been having.

"That's great! I'm glad. If you guys are hungry then, let's head over to eat!"

Nodding again, Yuki stood up and followed the two out

"_Look at them…they're so close…_" she thought as she watched mother and daughter laugh while walking hand in hand. "_I wonder…could I…_"

She thought about the two women caring for her, suddenly craving their presence.

"_Could I ever have something like that with those two?_

It was a question she often wondered, especially lately. She had seen more and more family like moments between her friends and their parents lately that it left her constantly asking this question.

"_I know I can't...not after everything I have done...but then...why do I keep feeling like this?"_

She placed her hand over her heart..

_"Why can't I let these feelings go?"_

* * *

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly, the crew eating a really good meal before exploring a little more. Around 3:00pm, they went their separate ways, Haru returning with her parents while Yuki returned with Nagisa and Shizuma. As they settled into the car for the drive home, Yuki found herself getting lost in the previous conversation between her and her best friend.

"_I must admit, that must be exhausting."_

Haru's words echoed through her mind as she settled comfortably in the back seat.

"_To be honest...it kind of is."_

As always, her mind and heart were always at it, but lately, it was becoming a tiresome fight. Her toughness used to be something she wore daily and with pride, but now staying tough was a project. She craved the affection and love the two women offered more and more as time went by, yet there were still things holding her back from truly letting go.

"_But I have to hold back. I can't be having these feelings or wanting whatever they give me. I need to keep thinking that good families don't exist. I need to keep thinking that they're not worth my time. But...how can I? How can I when they've been so true? How can I when they have made me feel so warm? How can I..."_

_..._

_She had never seen them fight like this before, and it scared her a lot. _

_"Get off of me!"_

_"No! You can't touch her!"_

_Yuki huddled against the closet wall, closing her eyes and covering her ears as hard as she could, but no amount of blocking kept out the constant yelling between the two._

"_Leave her alone!"_

_"Get off of me! That little brat deserves it!"_

_"She's your daughter!"_

_"She's no damn child of mine!"_

"Yuki-chan?"

Yuki shot awake only to find herself still in the back seat of the car. Dazed, she gazed around until she found herself staring at Nagisa, who was standing by her open door.

"Yuki-chan?" The woman asked worridly. "Are you ok?"

Rubbing her eyes, she took off her seat belt and stepped out of the vehicle.

"Yeah..."

"You sure?" Shizuma asked.

Yuki opened her mouth to answer, but a sudden sound stopped her...a deep grumble causing her eyes to widen, her gaze turning to the sky.

"Yuki?"

Out of no where, the ten year olds anxiety began to rise, her breathing becoming a little bit faster as the grumbling continued.

"Not now...please not now..."

But no such luck. The sound continued, causing her anxiety to rise even more.

"Not now? What do you mean not now? Yuki?" Nagisa asked, concerned now as she stepped closer. "What's wrong?"

"I...I...I have to go..."

"What?" The red head asked again, confused. "But-"

"I need to go!"

"Yuki, wait!" Shizuma called, but the girl didn't listen, slamming the car door shut instead and running to her room. When she got there, she ran to the window and watched as the rain came pouring down. She was hoping that the rain was going the be the only thing hitting them, but the continuous low rumble had proved her wrong, Yuki closing the curtain and crawling into bed when she heard it again.

_"Don't listen... Don't listen..."_

The rumble, though lessened by being indoors, came again, causing Yuki to curl up tight, her eyes snapping shut as her hands came up to blocks her ears. That seemed to keep out the sounds, but it didn't stop her mind from running.

"_Please just go away..."_ she begged. "_Please...the rain is fine, but don't bring the thunder..."_

Thunder. The sound Yuki couldn't stand to hear. Yes, the idea of it seemed childish...why be afraid of thunder? Especially at ten? Childish, perhaps, but it was more than just a simple fear of the sound. It was a memory, a reminder that she had spent more of her young life trying to forget.

"_Just...please...please..."_ she kept thinking, the grip she had from covering her ears lightening, her eyes relaxing more as well. "_Please just..."_

Sleep was taking over. With how bad her sleep had been lately, it was no surprise that she was dozing off. However, her anxiety was strong as she fell asleep, her mind in a state of fear as she lost consciousness, and while her mind was haunted by bad images in the past on random nights, falling asleep now while scared guaranteed the arrival of one thing.

_"You shit...you sorry piece of shit...no...no...she's not going anywhere. I'll spit in all their faces and yours. Yuki's mine, and you...you better leave right fucking now..."_

_But the younger woman didn't move, determined to stand her ground and save her niece once and for all. _

_"No. I'm done...I'm not letting you get away with this anymore."_

_"You bitch..."_

_With her anger on the rise, she stumbled over to a nearby stand and opened the tiny drawer, pulling out a gun. Lifting it with one hand, she aimed it right in her sisters direction._

_"Get out or I'll shoot you..."_

_The sister seemed a little shaken, but didn't move, refusing to give in._

_"Put the gun down."_

_Yuki's mother moved closer._

_"I said out!"_

_"Put it down!"_

_The older woman started to shake, pushing some of her hair off of her sweaty face with her free hand. Yuki was scared she was going to shoot, but instead, she started screaming again, the hand that was holding the gun coming down slightly._

_"Bitch! When I say move that means-oomph!"_

_Before the six year old's mother could finish her sentence, her Aunt jumped forward and knocked her down, the gun slipping from her hand and sliding scross the floor, stopping not to far from the cowering child._

_..._

_She had never seen them fight like this before, and it scared her a lot. _

_"Get off of me!"_

_"No! You can't touch her!"_

_Yuki huddled against the closet wall, closing her eyes and covering her ears as hard as she could, but no amount of blocking kept out the constant yelling between the two._

_"Yuki! Run! Get out and run down to my car! Go!_

* * *

The previous events confused the two miator women, Shizuma and Nagisa not understanding where the actions of the girl had come from.

"She was doing so well." Nagisa said as they both walked in, the red head shutting the door once they were inside. "She looked like she was having a lot of fun today, too. Did we do something wrong?"

"I don't think so." Shizuma replied worridly. "I think it might have something to do with the storm. Did you see the way she looked at the sky when it thundered a little?"

"Do you think she is afraid of storms?" Nagisa asked, looking out of the window as the rain came crashing down. "This is the first time thunder has hit since she has arrived."

"Maybe...I don't know, but I think we should go and check on her."

"Yeah...I hope she's all right."

After placing their purses down, the two walked up to Yuki's room, Shizuma gently rapping on the door once they had gotten there.

"Yuki? Are you all right?"

Nothing. Not a sound. Reaching out, she knocked again.

"Yuki, it's us. May we come in?"

At first they heard nothing, but after a few more minutes, a sudden small sound caught their ears in the form of a scared and helpless whimper.

"Yuki!"

Bursting in, the two found the child asleep on the bed, both walking over and sitting by her side. Judging by the look on her face, they could tell she was having another nightmare and wanted to save her from it as soon as she could.

"Yuki..." Shizuma called, gently shaking the girl. "Yuki, wake up...Yuki..."

* * *

_"Yuki!"_

_She could feel the coldness of the item that had slipped her way, the object heavy to her six year old arms. She didn't like what she saw. The whole thing scared her, but she wanted to help her Aunt. She was going to. She thought that giving her the item would be of help, but as she lifted what would soon prove to be the confirmation of a new life, a shot went off accidently, and moments after, a lifeless body hit the ground._

"No!"

At the loud crack of thunder, Yuki shot awake, half screaming as she sat up in bed.

"Yuki!"

She felt arms enclose around her.

"Yuki, it's-"

"No!" She pushed away. "No, get off!"

"Yuki, don't -"

"Let me go!" She screamed, struggling to get away. "You can't have me!"

"But we're-"

"No! Please! Don't hurt me!"

"We-"

"Mommy please!"

"Yuki, it's us!"

The ten year old snapped back into reality enough to realize where she was, finding a very worried Nagisa and Shizuma sitting beside her instead of her mother and her Aunt. Lifting up her hand, she stroked her cheek, feeling the touch of warm, wet tears in return.

"_I'm...crying?"_

"Shizuma...Nagisa..."

"It's ok, sweetie..." Nagisa said gently, reaching out to wipe away some of the tears. "It's ok."

"No one is going to hurt you." Shizuma added. "I promise."

Yuki's breathing slowed a little.

_"It's ok? No ones gonna...no one's gonna hurt m-"_

Out of no where, the thunder cracked again.

"No!"

Jumping, she covered her ears.

"No no! Make it stop!"

"Shh baby, shh." Shizuma whispered, pulling her close. "There is nothing to be afraid of. It's just the-"

"It's my fault!"

"Honey, nothing is your fault. You were just-"

"It was! I'm the reason they're dead!"

The room went silent once she made this remark. Even the thunder seemed to quiet down, the pitter pattering of the rain the only sound that could be heard.

"Yuki..." Nagisa asked in some shock. "What are you talking about?"

"It was me...it was all me...it's my fault..."

Her eyes started glazing up again, her body suddenly melting into Shizuma's, hands still half covering her ears.

"I didn't mean to...I was just trying to help, I swear..."

Her hands now came down to her eyes, her tears streaming down endlessly. Her dream had been so vivid...so real. It was like she was that little girl all over again. She felt so small and helpless and didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

"Honey..." Nagisa said, reaching out to stroke her hair. "Don't be. You have no reason to be sorry."

"I do...you don't understand...I have to be...you just..."

She felt Shizuma hug her a little tighter, the woman kissing her head as well. Shizuma was unsure if this was the right time to bring this up, but she couldn't stand seeing Yuki like this anymore. She couldn't bare to see those tears.

"Yuki..." she started carefully, still hugging her close. "Baby, you're right. We don't understand, but perhaps...maybe you can help us to."

Yuki wiped her tears away and looked up at the other two, her eyes full of worry and fear. She knew what Shizuma had meant by that, but could she do it? Could she really share it?

"Shizuma's right." Nagisa continued. "I know it's scary and really hard for you, but maybe it's time to talk about what happened. I think that if you do, we could really help you out."

She looked back down, her head still flopped out on Shizuma's chest as she shyly played with the sleeves of her long blue shirt. The thought of talking about it was indeed scary and hard, but she had run out of ideas to make the dreams stop. Nothing she did worked and she was tired of always feeling exhausted. She wanted her energy back.

"_And maybe...maybe they really can help."_

She was always too frightened and too ashamed to talk about it. After all, she felt like she was to blame for the whole thing in the first place. Kira, who was the only one that knew about the event because the cops told her the day she became her social worker, told her otherwise, saying it wasn't her fault, but Yuki had a hard time letting it go.

"_But maybe it's time to. Maybe they can help. Maybe it's not my fault like Kira said, but...how could it not be? I mean, I am the reason they're..."_

She looked back up at the two adults, her tears paused but her eyes still glazed.

"Do you...do you really think you could help me?"

Shizuma kissed the girl again and nodded.

"I can promise you that we will do whatever we can to help you through whatever hard time you are having, and I mean that."

Yuki then gave a little sigh. There was no more fight in her, not anymore. The last nightmare was a little too vivid for her liking, and the warmth and sincerity in both of the women's eyes seemed to break something in her at that moment, setting free the things she had been holding back.

"All right..." she finally said. "All right...I'd like to talk about it with you...with both of you."

The two females smiled, Nagisa actually leaning in to kiss the girl, too.

"But, if it's ok, can we talk about it in your room? I kind of don't want to be in here right now..."

Her room was where her nightmares happened the most, so it was the last place she wanted to be. If anything, she just wanted to feel safe, and the only safe place she really knew of...

"I just wanna be in your arms."

Shizuma couldn't help but smile a little more at this.

"Of course we can." she answered. "Why don't you get into your pajama's and we will meet you in there?"

"Right now?"

"Yes, love." she said back.

Yuki then nodded. It was time.

"All right. I'll get changed and then...then I'll tell you everything."

* * *

After they were all in agreement, Yuki went and quickly changed, heading right into the women's room right after. Shizuma and Nagisa also changed into their pajama's, Nagisa even making some tea before the talk began. Neither of then cared that it was only 4:00pm, for night or not, bed was where they were going to be if it meant comforting the young child, who was sitting right up against the headboard between the two.

"Are...are you sure you don't mind listening? It's kind of a long story."

Shizuma shook her head.

"We don't mind at all. Take all the time you need."

Yuki sighed, looking down at the blue colored covers they were beneath. This would be the first time she would freely share her story, her mind all jumbled up at what she was about to say. Thankfully, at least for the time, the thunder seemed to have calm, allowing her to think a bit more clearly, but she still didn't know where to start.

"I know what happened was my fault...I know because if I had ran like I was supposed to, then none of this would have happened, and I..."

Her eyes started glazing up just from the thoughts, her eyes still low as she spoke.

"I also know that, even though she was my mother, she hated me with a passion."

"Honey, no..." Shizuma told her. "No mother could ever hate their child."

Yuki looked up at her, a sad gaze in her eyes.

"I wish that were true, but it's not. Trust me...my mother...her name was Rika. Rika Himeko, and though she felt many things for me, love was not one of them."

_"Mommy? Why are you sad?"_

_Four year old Yuki stood beside her sniffling mother, who had been sitting at the kitchen table._

_"Mommy?"_

_She still did not answer, the woman clinging tighter to a brown glass bottle that was in her hand. More often than not, Yuki would find her carrying around bottles like that. She didn't know what it was though, just that it smelled bad._

_"Mommy..."_

_She hated seeing her mother so sad for the girl had loved her very much and wanted her happy. She wanted to see her smile again just like in some of the old pictures that the woman now hid away. She just had a find a way to see that smile again. Her mother was important to her and she would do anything to help her._

_"It's going to be ok, mommy. Don't cry..."_

_Yuki reached out and brushed some of her mother's silver locks away from her face._

_"I'm here, mommy. I will help to-ahh!"_

_In the middle of her comforting, she felt a hard force hit her right in the face, the little girl flying back and hitting the floor with a thud. Moments after, a sharp pain went through her lips, a trickle of blood dripping down her chin._

_"Ouch..."_

_Her little green eyes watered up as she nursed the split lip, Yuki confused at what just happened. Yes, she knew her mother had hit her, but as for the reason why..._

_"Ow...mommy, I'm bleeding..."_

_"Shut up..."_

_Rika's voice was cold and emotionless, the glare she gave the little girl hard and unloving. Her eyes were all puffy from crying as well, but pure hatred still flowed in them._

_"But...but mommy..."_

_"I said shut up...did I ask you to touch me?"_

_"I was just...you were sad..."_

_"Did I ask you to come near me?"_

_"I wanted to-"_

_"Did I even ask you to come into this room?"_

_Rika wasn't listening to a word her daughter was saying, the little one curled up in tears as she kept trying to wipe away the blood._

_"I asked you a question..."_

_"I...I..."_

_"Well did I!?"_

_The sudden yell frightened the child, causing her to shake her head immediately. All she had wanted to do was comfort her mom, but suddenly she was in trouble for trying._

_"I didn't think so...now get out..."_

_"But...I..."_

_"I said out!"_

_The yelling scared her again, so without another word, she stood up and scampered out of the room._

"That's the earliest memory I have of her..."

Even though she was young, she could remember that moment as clear as Nagisa and Shizuma were in shock at this, not understanding why that would happen.

"That's terrible!" Nagisa said, clearly angered. "She shouldn't have hit you like that. You were trying to help! How could she treat you like that?"

"Well, technically, I did cause a lot of trouble for her."

"What do you mean?" Shizuma asked.

"I mean that...I just caused a lot of trouble for her, even before I was born."

"How could you have caused trouble if you weren't even born yet?" Nagisa asked.

"Easy, by making my father go away."

"Wait...what?" the red head asked again.

"I'm the reason my father left. At least, that's what my mother always told me."

_"It's all your fault, you know that?"_

_The five year old sat tight in the corner, of the room clinging to a beat up looking white stuffed rabbit with one ear._

_"Wh-what?"_

_"Your father leaving. It was your fault."_

_Yuki hugged her rabbit a little tighter, unsure of what to say. Her mother never spoke about her father very often, but when she did, it was never good._

_"That good for nothing prick." she muttered, taking a swig of her beer. "Just packed his ass up and left."_

_"But...what did I do?"_

_Rika looked over at the tiny curled up bundle, sneering at the sight._

_"What did you do? You existed, that's what you did."_

_She took yet another swig and leaned back against the couch, letting out a sigh._

_"When he found out I was pregnant with you, he was so mad. He said he didn't want to be a dad...said he wasn't ready for that responsibility. So...he just left. Oh, I loved that man...I loved that man so much, but as soon as you came into the picture, he was...gone. Just gone. So it was your fault...all your fault. You're the worst thing that has ever happened to me."_

_A single tear fell down Yuki's cheek, the child half hiding her face in her rabbit, her heart sinking. All she ever wanted to do was make her mother happy, but she never could. It seemed like nothing she did was right._

_"I wish I never had you. I wish I was not your mother..."_

_Yuki reached up and wiped away her tear, sniffling as she rested her head against the wall. She wasn't doing good enough at all, but that didn't mean she would give up. She'd make her mother happy one day..._

_"I'm sorry, mommy...I'm sorry. I promise I will do better."_

The two couldn't believe what they were hearing. Their Yuki spent the early years of her life getting abused and getting blamed for things that weren't even her fault.

"_That's so wrong..._" Nagisa thought. "_What mother says those kinds of things?"_

"And I really did try to make her happy, but I couldn't do anything right. I guess...she really would have been better off if I hadn't been born."

"Don't you ever say that."

There was a sharp sadness in the tone of the speaker's voice, Yuki looking up to see the watery gaze of Shizuma staring back.

"Shizuma..."

"Her life was made better thanks to you, I can promise you that. She was the one who was too blind and too cruel to really see it or to take the time to see it, always blaming her misgivings on you, which wasn't right at all."

"I...I know, but, in regards to my father, wouldn't it be my fault? I mean, he left because he found out she was pregnant with me."

"That wasn't your fault either." Nagisa told her, slipping her hand into the girl's, Shizuma following suit after. "The only person to blame for that is your father. Finding out you are going to have a child is joyous news and a blessing. Instead of looking at it like that, he just up and left, leaving you and your mother high and dry. That wasn't right of him at all. Your mother had a right to be upset, but she didn't have the right to blame you or to take it out on you. Nothing was ever your fault and you need to believe that. You are a beautiful, smart, and strong girl, Yuki. Don't let your mother or anyone out there make you feel otherwise."

Yuki couldn't help but blush at the words, both women gently squeezing her hands as if emphasizing the sincerity behind them.

"Th-thanks guys...I just...I don't know."

And she really didn't. She had no idea how to think or feel anymore, but in rethinking their words, she found that she couldn't help but snicker lightly, her mind travelling elsewhere.

"That's odd..."

"What is?" Shizuma asked, furrowing her brows a bit.

"You remind me of her."

"Wait, your mother?" Shizuma asked again, a little confused.

"No, you both remind me of my aunt, Aunt Kagura."

Hearing that reminded Shizuma of the camping trip night when Yuki mentioned that it wasn't her mother and father she had lost one night when she was little, but her mother and her aunt.

"Was she...nice?" Nagisa asked.

"Oh yeah..." Yuki answered, a small smile growing on her face. "She was more than nice. You see, her and my mom were the only two people I knew when I was little. It was obvious my mother hated me, but Aunt Kagura? Oh no...no. She loved me. She really loved me."

The tears that were forming in the ten year olds eyes were now streaming down her cheeks as she remembered that angel of a woman. Yes, thinking about her put a small smile on her face, but it also stirred a guilt filled ache in her heart as well.

"She used to hug me and kiss me and...she just used to make me feel so special."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman." Shizuma said back warmly.

"She was..." Yuki replied. "She was...she..."

_"Hello, my little Yuki."_

_"Aunt Kagura!"_

_Yuki, who had been coloring on the floor, shot up from her spot and ran into the arms of the dark haired female, clinging to her tightly and giggling as she was lifted up and hugged._

_"There's my beautiful girl! I missed you so much!"_

_"I missed you, too!"_

_"Yuki, get down from there. Nobody likes clinging children."_

_Yuki's face fell a little when she heard this, but Kagura simply hugged her niece tighter, turning to face her sister with a smile._

_"Oh, but I love it when she clings like this. Yuki hugs are the best, don't you think?"_

_Rika just ignored her, opening her fridge to pull out a beer._

_"Ne, you shouldn't be drinking with your daughter around..."_

_"And you shouldn't tell me what to do in my own house. Also, did you know that it is considered impolite to walk into someones home without permission?"_

_"You left your door unlocked...again. So I just let myself in."_

_"Unlocked or not, you still didn't have a right to walk in."_

_"I wanted to visit you and Yuki."_

_"Well I don't feel like dealing with you today."_

_"Then since it seems I would be an inconvienence to you, I shall simply visit Yuki."_

_Rika, who wasn't quite drunk enough yet to get angry, simply shrugged and cursed._

_"You're so damn annoying..." she muttered, but then she said nothing else and staggered away to her room._

_Once the two were alone, Kagura carried Yuki to the couch and sat down, the two facing each other once they were comfortable._

_"So my darling, how are you?"_

_Her voice was warm like honey and milk, the six year old loving the sound of it._

_"I'm ok."_

_She felt Kagura's fingers stroke her cheek, the warmth in Yuki's chest growing._

_"And how has your mother been treating you?"_

_Yuki's gaze fell at the question, but came quickly back up, her eyes hard and strong when she answered._

_"Fine. She's treating me fine."_

_"Yuki..."_

_She could hear that slight sterness in her voice, the girl blushing a bit. Lately, whenever her Aunt came over, she would ask a lot of questions such as this. At first, Yuki wasn't truthful, but as of late, more and more things kept coming out. She wasn't trying to tell on her mother, but at the same time, she couldn't keep the bad things inside either._

_"It's not bad...really. Mommy just gets mad a lot..."_

_"Does she hit you when she gets mad?"_

_Yuki shifted uncoomfortably in her Aunt's lap, and although part of her didn't want to say anything, she nodded her head._

_"But only when she's mad!" she quickly added. That wasn't the whole truth of course as her mom always hit her, but she couldn't quite being herself to say that much yet._

_"Are you telling the truth?"_

_Yuki let out a little sigh and fiddled with the bottom of Kagura's shirt._

_"Mommy doesn't mean to, I know it. She loves me, I know she does. Please don't be mad at her...you'll see. I'll make mommy smile again soon."_

_Kagura didn't like what she was hearing at all and knew there were some things the child wasn't telling her, but decided to let it go. She had all of the information she needed for today. A few more visits and everything would be set. For now, she just put on a smile and leaned in to kiss the child's forehead._

_"I'm not mad at anyone, I promise. But hey, I have something for you."_

_Yuki's eyes widened happily as Kagura pulled out a white cloth. There, folded inside of it, was a small pink item that made the child squeal with glee._

_"A cherryblossom! They're my favorite!"_

_Kagura giggled at the girl's reaction as she tucked the flower into her silver hair._

_"That's right, and when I saw this one, I immediately thought of you. There we are, pretty as a present."_

Yuki felt more tears fall down her face as she shared this memory, Shizuma reaching out to hold her close. It hurt Yuki so much to think about her...the one person in the whole world who had truly loved her...

"She sounded like a very sweet woman." Nagisa said softly, still holding and caressing the back of Yuki's hand while Shizuma hugged her.

"She was." Yuki sniffled. "She was even trying to save me."

"Save you?" Shizuma asked. "What do you mean?"

Now the story was getting harder to tell as her memories were getting sadder and sadder. She wanted to hole up and forget about it, but she knew she couldn't. If sharing was the key to her nightmares stopping, she would talk, and both Nagisa and Shizuma deserved to know.

"_Why do you always have to come over and dig into my business?"_

_Yuki was huddled against the wall in tears, nursing the cheek her mother had previously slapped. Kagura had walked in seconds after, and seeing Yuki in that state angered her greatly. Now, her and her mother were going at it, Rika drunk as usual while her aunt was standing inches away from the child to keep her safe._

_"Because you don't know how to control yourself with anything. You shouldn't be drinking with a child in the house and you should most definitely not lay a hand on her!"_

_"My house, my rules. I can do what I want."_

_She hated hearing them fight, but she was too scared to say anything. They used to agrue before, but never like this. Everytime Kagura came over, it would get worst and worst. So, instead of saying anything, she just sat there and cried. It was the sound of those whimpers that pulled Kagura from the argument, her angered face softening when she saw her tear streaked niece. _

_"Aww, baby...don't cry..." she said, walking over to where Yuki was and kneeling down beside her. Reaching out, she rubbed her back gently, whispering sweet words to help bring comfort. "It's ok."_

_"I'm scared."_

_"Oh no honey, don't be. I'm right here now love, you're not alone."_

_"Don't tell her that! That brat is all alone!"_

_"Don't say that! She's not! She has you and she has me."_

_"She has nobody. Definitely not me."_

_"She's your daughter, Rika."_

_"Don't feed me that shit. She is no daughter to me. She's nothing. You hear that Yuki? You're nothing! You're all alone in this god forsaken world and will always be!"_

_Silence fell as Rika's disowning words echoed through the walls, the words piercing Yuki through the heart._

_"I'm...I'm no child of hers? I don't have her...she doesn't...love me?"_

_More tears fell down her face, the girl not understanding why her mother had said that. Was she not good enough? Could she have worked harder to make her happy? Was she just...a bad kid?_

_"Mommy...mommy doesn't love me..."_

_She wasn't sure what to do._

_"Mommy...I...I..."_

_Then, her words stopped, for out of no where a warm pair of arms scooped her up and carried her vlose, clinging to her protectively._

_"Aunt...Kagura..."_

_"You should be ashamed of yourself." she said lowly. "She is your flesh and blood...you should be ashamed."_

_And with that, she walked out of the living room, taking Yuki with her. Upon entering the girl's room, she sat down on the bed with Yuki in her lap._

_"Aunt Kagura..."_

_Kagura looked down, her heart breaking when she saw those tear filled green eyes._

_"Oh baby...honey, come here."_

_Yuki then broke down as her Aunt held her, the girl clinging hard as her tiny heart snapped._

_"I tried, Aunt Kagura...I tried. Nothing I did made mommy happy..."_

_"Shh...shh..." she cooed, kissing her head while rubbing her back._

_"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I tried...I really did..."_

_"Hey..."_

_She pulled the girl back gently, wiping some of her tears away._

_"Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's not your job to constantly make your mother happy. You're a child. She should be taking care of and loving you, but she's not. All she does is hit you, hurt you, belittle you, and make you cry. Mother's aren't supposed to do that."_

_Yuki hiccuped mid-sniffle, finding it hard to stop the tears._

_"But then why do I feel like I did something wrong?"_

_"Because your mother is making you feel that way. Honey, you have done everything right. She just isn't seeing it."_

_"But...but why...and...and why doesn't mommy love me?"_

_Kagura let out of sigh, not knowing how to answer that question._

_"I don't know sweetie...I don't know why she acts or say the things she does, but I know one thing. You don't deserve what she has been giving you. You are a loveable, beautiful and smart little girl and you deserve nothing but happiness and love."_

_The crying started to calm down a bit, gently eyes looking up at the other._

_"R-really? I'm not bad?"_

_"No...no, not at all."_

_She clung back to her Aunt and rested her head on her chest, sniffling every so often. Her mothers words still hurt, but everything her Aunt had told her was starting to make her feel better._

_"But I have to go back to mommy..." she thought as she snuggled closer, melting into the warmth the older woman was giving her. Usually, after her mother had a fit, she would always fall back into the mind set of trying to find ways to make her happy, but now, her thoughts were confused. She actually heard her mother said that she meant nothing to her, and saw that the person who did care about her was the one holding her at this very moment._

_"Mommy doesn't love me..." she thought. "But...Aunt Kagura does..."_

_After nuzzling once more, she pulled away again, facing the woman once again._

_"Aunt Kagura, do you have to go? Can't you stay here tonight?"_

_Kagura leaned in and kissed the girl on the forehead._

_"Honey, I don't think she is gonna let me stay...and I know she isn't going to let me take you right now either."_

_She tried to take Yuki out for awhile multiple times, but for some reason, Rika didn't want her to...something about her not wanting her child to have anything fun because she didn't deserve it..._

_"But...you want me to stay, right?"_

_"Y-yeah..."_

_"And you want to stay with me, too?"_

_"Yes...I don't want you to go...I'm scared..."_

_She pulled the child back into a hug, her own eyes watering up as she held her._

_"Yuki...would you want to stay with me...for good?"_

_Yuki's young heart gave a little jump, her brows furrowing as she stay snuggled up._

_"Stay...with you? And not with mommy?"_

_"Yes...with me...I'd take care of you..."_

_Yuki now pulled back, eyeing her Aunt againt._

_"But...you just said that mommy wouldn't let you take me."_

_"Maybe not today, but tomorrow night...tomorrow night you could come live with me for good."_

_"How?"_

_Looking around to make sure her sister wasn't peeking in, she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a small black object, the item being a tape recorder._

_"I need you to listen to me very carefully, honey. For the last few months I have been recording all the bad things your mommy says to you...and I have a few pictures of the marks she has left on you, too. I turned then in today to some very special people that can help you get out of here and then come live with me."_

_Yuki shuffled in her seat a little, her mind trying to take in what her Aunt was saying._

_"You...you told on mommy?"_

_"In a way...yes, I did. But not to be mean, I did it because I want to protect you. Your mommy isn't loving you or taking care of you the way she should be. You deserved to be loved, Yuki, and baby, I love you so so much."_

_Yuki wiped away the last of her tears as the woman spoke._

_"I love you, too..."_

_Kagura then reached out and tucked some of the girl's hair behind her ear, her fingers then gently stroking her cheek._

_"So then...what do you say? Do you wanna stay with me?"_

_It took Yuki a good minute to process this and think about it. She may have been young and still didn't know much, but what she did know was that when she was with her mother, she felt bad, but when she was with her Aunt, she felt good...more than good actually. She felt special and wanted and loved. She also never got hurt and never bled...she never got hit or got told that she was worthless. _

_"But...that would mean leaving mommy for good." she thought. Could she really do that?"_

_"Aunt Kagura?"_

_She already knew the answer. Even though her mind was still young to the world around her, she knew._

_"Yes, love?"_

_Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around Kagura's neck, hiding her face in her sweet smelling locks._

_"Save me..."_

She could still smell that sweet, comforting scent of her Aunt's lavender shampoo...she could still feel the warmth of her arms tightly and securely around her. Every memory and mark of that woman was still with her. The good...and the bad.

"Yuki..."

The girl had pulled herself away from them at this point, Yuki with her knees to her chest and her face half hidden in her folded arms.

"I wanted her to save me...I wanted her to take me away forever...and that's exactly what she was going to do. She was really going to do it. She even made me promise not to say anything to my mom so no one would stop it. She was going to take me away for good..."

The longer the child spoke, the more Shizuma's heart broke, herself all teary eyed along with the other two.

_"How could her own mother hurt her like that? My Yuki, my little baby...how could she?"_

"She was everything to me...my Aunt...the one who really loved me and I...I..."

She felt Nagisa lean in and kiss her head gently, the red head trying to bring comfort to the distraught girl.

"Shh sweetie...it's all right. You don't have to say anymore if it's too hard for you. Don't force yourself to say anything you're not ready to."

Part of her wanted to take Nagisa up on that offer, but at this point, she had already gotten so far. There was only one more part to tell, and it was the hardest and most painful part of all. The part that never left her mind and always haunted her dreams. The night when her life was changed forever.

"No...no, I want to tell you. I do. I have to so you...so you can see."

"See what?" Nagisa asked.

"See...see the bad person I really am."

Shizuma furrowed her brows when she heard this.

"Baby no...no, nothing you can say would make us think you are bad."

"Don't say that..." she half whispered, lifting her watery gaze to meet the others, her glare serious and strong. "Don't say anything like that until you know the truth."

"But Yuki..."

"Please...you don't understand...you have to know...there's a reason why she couldn't save me in the end...a reason why I ended up an orphan instead of with her..."

Nagisa reached out and placed her hand on Yuki's arm, squeezing it gently.

"If you really want to tell us, and I mean really want to, then why...why couldn't she save you?"

"She couldn't because...because..."

Here it was, the truth of it all.

"I killed her."

The words tasted like poison as they finally left her mouth for the first time in four years. It was the real reason she knew she couldn't be loved or have a family...the real reason she had ended up alone. She had subjected herself to the fact that she was never going to be loved or cared about again...that she wasn't allowed to have those things. It was Shizuma and Nagisa who finally started to make her feel otherwise, but even with that milestone, she still had a lot of trouble letting that pain and those thought disappear for good.

"Yuki..."

There were many things the two were guessing she would say, but the words that came out of the child between them were not on their list.

"Yuki...what...what do you mean you killed her..." Shizuma asked, not quite understanding. She couldn't believe something like that.

"I mean exactly as I say. I killed her...and my mother, too. I'm the reason their both dead."

Nagisa had to catch a tear that was falling from her own face as she listened, and much like Shizuma, she didn't believe or understand what was being said.

"Yuki...you couldn't have..." the red head said. "You didn't...you...were six. How could you?"

"I wish I were lying, but I'm not...I'm not...I..."

"_Get over here you worthless excuse of a child!"_

_ Yuki cried out in pain as her mother lifted her by her silver hair, dragging her across the wooden living room floor. Her mother had been drinking yet again. but this time, her anger was beyond what it used to be. It was the worst she had ever seen it._

_ "Mommy! Let go!"_

_ "Shut it!"_

_ "It hurts!"_

_ "Who cares if it hurts!?"_

_ She felt her mother tug tighter before throwing her down, the tiny body toppling on the ground._

_ "You know what hurts? All the shit I've had to put up with since you were born! Your father leaving, my sister always digging her nose into my business of how I raise your sorry ass…everyone is always against me…me!"_

_ Her mother picked her up by the hair again, leaning in so close that the strong scent of alcohol from the woman's breath nearly gagged the six year old._

_ "Don't tell me it hurts! You know nothing about what real pain is, so shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you!"_

_ She then dragged the girl a little further before tossing her into a closet._

_ "I don't want to see your face any more tonight, or for a while. You sleep and stay in there."_

_ "Wait! Mommy no!"_

_ "I said shut your mouth!"_

_ "Mommy please!"_

_ "Get away from her!"_

_ That was a sound neither Yuki or her mom was expecting, the woman cursing and staggering around to see who was speaking._

_ "Get away from her now!"_

_ Yuki's eyes widened when she saw that the speaker was none other than her Aunt. She really had come to save her just like she said she was. She was going to be free. Her Aunt would take her away for good and she would never get hurt again. The thought made her feel a little stronger, and seeing her caused a small ray of hope to form in her chest. _

_"God it's you...when will you get the hint that you're not wanted around here...go away."_

_"You've gone too far this time, Rika...and now I am not backing down."_

_Rika sneered at her sister's attitude._

_"Who do you think you're talking to? Spare me your speech, I don't care. Now, I said go!"_

_To emphasize this statement, she threw the bottle towards her sisters directions, the glass spraying everywhere when it missed it's intended target and hit the wall._

_"Out!"_

_"No!"_

_Without missing a beat, she walked right by her and stood in front of the still open closet door, Yuki still curled up inside._

_"Aunt Kagura..."_

_"Leave her alone, Rika. You'll not hurt her anymore."_

_"You...don't tell me what to do." the silver haired woman slurred out, staggering a little towards her younger sister. "This is not your house, so just shut up and leave."_

_"No, I am not going anywhere. I'm sick of the way you treat her. She's just a child!"_

_"I don't care what she is! What I do to her is none of your business! Now leave!"_

_"You know what...gladly, but when I do, so does Yuki."_

_"She's my daughter. You can't take her anywhere without my permission. The brat stays."_

_"She doesn't, because after tonight, you are no longer her mother."_

_Silence filled the room when these words were spoken, the tension so strong you could almost breathe it in._

_"What did you just say?" Rika asked, her voice dark._

_"I said that after tonight, you are no longer her mother." Kagura replied, not fearing the woman in the slightest. "She will be coming to stay with me, permanently in my care."_

_Rika simply snickered, not believing her words._

_"That's bullshit. You can't take her anywhere. She's legally mine."_

_"She won't be when social services gets here, and trust me, they are on their way as we speak."_

_"...You're lying."_

_"I'm not. Social services is on the way and Yuki is now mine."_

_Rika's face darkened even more, her voice so dangerous and low that Yuki found herself frightened again even with her Aunt right there._

_"You shit...you sorry piece of shit...no...no...she's not going anywhere. I'll spit in all their faces and yours. Yuki's mine, and you...you better leave right fucking now..."_

_But the younger woman didn't move, determined to stand her ground and save her niece once and for all. _

_"No. I'm done...I'm not letting you get away with this anymore."_

_"You bitch..."_

_With her anger on the rise, she stumbled over to a nearby stand and opened the tiny drawer, pulling out a gun. Lifting it with one hand, she aimed it right in her sisters direction._

_"Get out or I'll shoot you..."_

_The sister seemed a little shaken, but didn't move, refusing to give in._

_"Put the gun down."_

_Yuki's mother moved closer._

_"I said out!"_

_"Put it down!"_

_The older woman started to shake, pushing some of her hair off of her sweaty face with her free hand. Yuki was scared she was going to shoot, but instead, she started screaming again, the hand that was holding the gun coming down slightly._

_"Bitch! When I say move that means-oomph!"_

_Before the six year old's mother could finish her sentence, her Aunt jumped forward and knocked her down, the gun slipping from her hand and sliding scross the floor, stopping not to far from the cowering child._

_..._

_She had never seen them fight like this before, and it scared her a lot. _

_"Get off of me!"_

_"No! You can't touch her!"_

_Yuki huddled against the closet wall, closing her eyes and covering her ears as hard as she could, but no amount of blocking kept out the constant yelling between the two._

"_Leave her alone!"_

_"Get off of me! That little brat deserves whatever I give her and not you or the social services or anyone can stop me from giving it to her!"_

_"She's your daughter!"_

_"She's no damn child of mine!"_

_Opening her eyes again, she saw that they were still going and started to cry. She wanted it to stop...she just wanted it to stop._

_"Yuki! Run! Get out and run down to my car! Go!_

_At first, Yuki was frozen on the spot, frightened unsure of what to do, but the sound of her Aunt's voice telling her to run again woke her up, the young girl getting to her feet to make her run. However, seconds after taking her first step, she froze, her eyes glued to the two women in front of her._

_"Aunt Kagura..." she thought. "What about Aunt Kagura...I can't leave her alone."_

_It was then something else caught her eye, a sight that frightened her but also gave her an idea as well. _

_"Maybe...if she had this..."_

_There in front of her sat the gun, the item her mother threatened her Aunt with...the item she could have killed her with._

_"But Aunt Kagura wouldn't kill...no...but I bet mommy would get scared, and if mommy got scared she would leave us alone and we both could run..."_

_But was that a good idea? Would it help? Or should she just run like she was told._

_"Yuki!"_

_The girl continued to watch them struggle, both women on their feet now as Kagura tried to keep her back._

_"Yuki, run!"_

_But the girl didn't listen. She knew her Aunt was trying to help her, but she didn't want the woman stuck here, too. If she was going to run, then her Aunt was going with her. Her mother already hurt her enough...she wasn't going to hurt her Aunt, too. So, with this in mind, she leaned down and reached out in front of her, her hand grasping the item. She could feel the coldness of the object that had slipped her way, the gun heavy to her six year old arms. She didn't like what she saw. The whole thing scared her, but she wanted to help her Aunt. She was going to. She thought that giving her the item would be of help, but as she lifted what would soon prove to be the confirmation of a new life, a shot went off accidently, and moments after, a lifeless body hit the ground._

_..._

_The thunder like sound took the girl off guard, the gun falling to the floor once more. She wasn't expecting that to happen, and now she was frightened. However, that fear was nothing compared to the fear that filled her when she saw the scene in front of her, and scene that forever scared her mind and heart._

_"Yuki..."_

_There before her was a bloodied body, the red substance steaming from a hole in the chest. She realized quickly that it was the body of her Aunt for her mother was standing up, a clear look of shock on her face from the mess below._

_"Yuki...what have you done?!"_

_"Aunt Kagura..."_

_Silence was her reply._

_"Aunt Kagura!"_

_Panicked, she ran over to the woman who was supposed to be her freedom, rolling her over to see her face._

_"Aunt Kagura, wake up!"_

_The lifeless woman's green eyes were wide open, but nothing was inside of them. No light, no warmth, no love...nothing. They were empty._

_"Aunt Kagura, please! Please wake up!" she shouted, shaking her regardless of the amount of blod she was getting on her hand. "Please! Comeback!"_

_"Yuki..."_

_A shaky and dark sounding voice could be heard from behind her. Turning, she found her mother standing there, the gun in her hand. With Yuki being caught up in shock over what happened with Kagura, she hadn't seen her mother moved, and thought she felt even more scared seeing that gun in her hand, she didn't move, her tiny little arms wrapped around the still warm body._

_"M-mommy...please..."_

_"You...you...this is all your fault..."_

_"Mommy..."_

_"Look at what you've done..."_

_"But...I..."_

"Just look...look...you've killed her. You've killed her...god dammit, _Yuki!"_

_ "I'm sorry! I didn't-"_

_ "You bitch! You little..."_

__The woman didn't know what to do or say. So many thoughts and feelings were running through her and she couldn't handle them. In fact...she couldn't handle handle. She couldn't handle her mind...she couldn't handle her heart..she could handle her life...__

_"I can't do this...-"_

__Her mom suddenly had a defeated look on her face instead of anger, the sudden change confusing the young one.__

___"Mommy?"___

_ She saw the women lift the gun to her own head._

_ "I can't take this anymore…"_

__"Wait! No! Don't!"__

___"I just can't...I can't do this...I..."___

_ -Click-_

_ "Mommy!"_

Yuki shuddered as the memory replayed itself in her head. The reminder was so strong that she could almost smell all of the blood that had surrounded her that night.

"I did it..." she whispered, shaking in place. "It was me...I did it..."

"No, Yuki...stop..."

Both women were in complete tears, both taken aback not only at what they heard, but from how long the girl had kept this to herself, and it killed them to think that she actually blamed herself.

"Yuki no." Nagisa told her. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was! How can you say that! I killed her! I shot the gun!"

"You were trying to protect her." Shizuma said. "All you wanted to do was help."

"But I didn't!" Yuki's voice was nearing a scream now. "I didn't! I killed her instead. She was the one person in the world who loved me I took her away! And then I killed my mother, too!"

"She killed herself!" Shizuma said back.

"Because of me! She killed herself because of me!"

"No!"

Shizuma reached out and pulled Yuki into her arms.

"No...it wasn't your fault. Nothing was your fault. What happened was an accident, and what your mother did was by her own choice. It wasn't you..."

"It was!"

"No, it wasn't..."

"Shut up! It was!"

Yuki couldn't stand to her them say that. She wanted it to be her fault. She wanted to blame herself. She was the one who shot the gun, and accident or not, she killed her. And she was the reason her mother killed herself, so it had to be her fault...it had to be...

"I killed them both! The person to blame is me! Let me go!"

She didn't want to be in Shizuma's arms right now, the girl struggling hard to get away. Now normally, Shizuma would let it, but this time, she did not, instead holding onto the girl even tighter.

"Let go!"

"No..."

"Let me go!"

"No!"

Yuki struggled and struggled to get free, but nothing seemed to be working.

"Please...just please..."

"You have to realize it wasn't your fault."

"But it was...it was! I'm a murderer. I did it!"

"It wasn't! You were just trying to keep her safe!" Nagisa added. "What happened was an accident so you're not a murderer!"

"Shut up! I am!" Too much pent pain had taken over that she just couldn't control herself. "Stop saying I didn't! I killed them both!"

"Yuki, stop!" Shizuma half yelled, still holding her tightly in a hug. "Stop this now! Your Aunt wouldn't want to see you like this!"

"Who cares! She's dead!"

"No she's not! Yuki please!"

"Yes she is! She's dead! She's dead and she's never coming back!"

And suddenly, at those words, the struggling stopped, Yuki's body giving up as more pain took over.

"She's not dead, Yuki..." Shizuma said a little more softly as the girl's struggle eased. "She's alive and will always be alive right in your heart."

"She's right." Nagisa added, hugging the girl from behind, Yuki now warmly embraced on either side. "She's in your heart and in heaven, always looking out for you. And your mother...your mother was a terrible and cruel person. No, she didn't deserve to die either, but she made her choice, and you are not to blame for that...you're not to blame for either."

"But I am..." Yuki mumbled out, her voice a little weaker. "I am...I..."

"No..." Shizuma cut in. "No...you're not."

"If not...then...then why...why does it hurt so much?"

Her chest felt like it was going to cave in, her breathing scattered and her eyes filled with endless painful tears.

"It hurts...it hurts..."

"I know baby, I know..."

Yuki couldn't take it anymore. It was just too much, so before she knew it, after four years of keeping it a secret...

"Shizuma...Nagisa..."

"We're right here..." Nagisa whispered.

After four long years, she finally let go, her pain all coming out.

"It's ok, baby..." Shizuma whispered, the woman crying with her. "It's all right. You just cry...let out. Let it all out."

And cry she did. She just melted into the arms of both women and let everything pour out. Every tear, every heart ache, every pain...everything. She had never cried so much in her life.

"Shizuma...Nagisa.."

"Right here love...right here." Nagisa whispered again. "And we'll always be right here. I promise."

* * *

No one knew how long she laid there and cried, and quite honestly, they didn't care. They would stay there and comfort the girl forever if that's what it took. The girl did ease up a bit though, Yuki clinging needily to both the women holding her. The two happily met her need to cling, both doing whatever they could to ease her heart. They scratched her back, cooed sweet words, kissed her, loved her...hell, Shizuma even sang her a lullaby, one in which actually calmed the child greatly.

"_Clouds will raise up,_  
_ storms will race in,_  
_ but you will be safe in my arms._  
_ Rains will pour down,_  
_ waves will crash all around,_  
_ but you will be safe in my arms."_

It wasn't long after that did Yuki finally sleep, a few last tears escaping before finally passing out.

"Yuki..."

The girl was curled up tight in boh their arms, Yuki's face nuzzled into the woman's chest while Nagisa cuddled and nuzzled into her hair from behind. It had been a long afternoon/night for all three of them, but Shizuma and Nagisa regretted nothing. They were happy to be there and comfort her the best way they could no matter how long it took. What happened to Yuki was sad and heart breaking...the girl experiencing pain no child should have ever felt, but they would be right there. They would be there to help her through and make her feel safe...make her feel cared for. But...she was more than just safe...more than just cared for...she was...

_"Castles they might crumble,_

_Dreams may not come true,_

_But you are never all alone_

_Cause I will always..._

_Always..._

_Love you..."_

The once unspoken words now danced around the room as Shizuma sang them, a tremble of something new shaking in the air. Yes, Yuki was loved, oh so loved by the two women, and as both Nagisa and Shizuma looked at each other, they shared the same exact thought. The time was coming, and it was coming soon. They only had one more small hurdle to face, but regardless, it was coming. At the official end of Yuki's stay in December, their lives would be different. At the end of the stay nothing would be the same. Come Christmas...they wouldn't let her go. Come christmas...

She would be theirs.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: Discovery

**1:00p.m**

"I'll be honest with you. I'm pretty damn shocked."

Both Shizuma and Nagisa sat in the living room beside their house phone. On their speaker was Kira, the woman completely surprised at the news the two women gave her.

"She really told you? Everything?"

"She did." Shizuma replied. "Just a few weeks ago."

"Wow…that's just…you guys are literally the first to hear it straight from her. She's never told anyone."

Kira was definitely dumbfounded. That child had always fought tooth and nail over the years to make sure her story never got out. She was really sensitive when it came to her past and hated even thinking about it, so she knew that her sharing it with Shizuma and Nagisa was a big step.

"How has she been doing since then?"

"She's…all right." Nagisa replied. "It was a really tough night for her, and since then, she's…changed."

"Changed? How so?"

"Well, she is a lot quieter. It's almost like she is constantly lost in thought. She also seems to be a lot shyer, too."

Shy was a word that could never be associated with the usually opinionated ten year old, so this told Kira something was definitely up.

"And with that shyness comes clinginess." Shizuma added. "She likes being close to us. Yes, she does leave the house and goes out to do her own thing, but not before kind of clinging prior to leaving."

"Is that a bad thing?" Kira asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

"Oh no no! Not at all!" Nagisa answered quickly. "It's definitely ok. If clinging like that and coming to us helps her, then we want her to do that. We love her and want to be there for her in any way we can."

Kira let out a sigh of relief when she heard this.

"That is actually very comforting to hear because she might be this way for a little while."

"Wait, has she gotten like this before?" The red head asked.

"Well, kind of, yes. She started acting the same way she is now after the death of her mother and Aunt, minus the clinging. She was just very quiet and shy around people…quieter than a child normally would be. Her mind was also constantly elsewhere just like it is now. It was almost as if, with everything she had seen that night, she had been drained of all emotion…as if her soul was torn right out of her. Her heart and mind went through a lot of trauma, and it left her kind of empty as a result. It took a good year for me to pull her out of that and get through to her. In this case though, I doubt it will be that long. She'll get back to her normal self a lot quicker this time."

Shizuma's eyes had glazed up while listening. The thought of Yuki having to go through that at such a young age still broke her heart.

"_But I can't blame her. I know that feeling because when Sayuri died…"_

"The poor baby…no child should ever have to go through that." Nagisa said. "You really think she will pull through it quicker this time?"

"I do. You see, prior to telling you her story, you guys were already starting to get through to her. From what you have shared with me over the past months, she's been smiling with you, laughing with you, hugging with you…hell, you guys are now snuggling. She's grown attached. Yes, I know she probably still has some fears, but regardless of that, you guys got to her. She's comfortable with you, and that makes a big difference here. Like I said, when she was younger, she was quiet and shy, but didn't cling. Here, she does. Why? You're her home base."

"Her home base?" Nagisa asked.

"Her safety net…her sense of security. Yes, from what you tell me, she is having a hard time with her thoughts and feelings about that night, but instead of dealing with it on her own and keeping it in like she did when she was younger, she is latching onto you. I see this in kids all the time. It's actually a very common occurrence with foster children. When a child feels scared, upset, or anxious about doing something or going somewhere, they will cling to the parent because that is where they get their comfort from. They need to have that sense that they are safe. Once they cling to the parent and feel secure, they will pull back and do their thing with a little more confidence, also knowing that if they need to, they can go right back and cling again. So whenever her feelings get too much, she clings to you, and you guys are literally the safety net that keeps her from falling apart."

The words were just very over whelming to the two females, in a good way of course.

"So, she's a little fearful about being away from us…and when she knows she has to be, she will cling to get that sense of comfort before taking off? Or when she just feels scared period, she'll cling, too?" Nagisa asked.

"Yes, exactly. As I said, you guys are her home base, and with her feeling safe and clinging like that, she'll pull out of this tough time a lot faster."

The two guardians looked at each other with tears in their eyes, Shizuma reaching out to hold the hand of her wife's. They had been worried that they were not doing enough to help her and be there, but it seemed like that were really giving just what the girl needed.

"The hardest hurdle you will probably have is trying to get her from blaming herself for her Aunt's death. She still feels like it is her fault. "

"Well I can definitely relate to that…"

Shizuma knew what it was like to take the blame for a death of a loved one for she had blamed herself for Sayuri's death for the longest time.

"I thought it was my fault that Sayuri had died because I didn't get there in time. I felt that I should have been able to save her because I was her mother, but with a lot of support, I learned that it wasn't. The only thing I was guilty of was trying to help her."

"Just like Yuki was trying to help her Aunt." Nagisa said sadly.

"Yeah…"

"I agree." Kira replied. "I also think that with you being able to relate to her in that way, she might be able to move on and let it go. Have you told her about your daughter yet?"

"Not yet." Nagisa answered. "However, we are thinking about doing so tomorrow. With how she has been lately, we've been a little worried to tell her, but I think it's time. We do want to tell her very soon because…we…we want to…"

"What?" Kira asked curiously.

"Well…" Shizuma answered. "We want to adopt her."

Kira's eyes widened when she heard this, the phone almost dropping. She knew that were seriously considering it in the beginning, but to hear the deep sincerity in the words now…

"You really…want to do that?"

"Yes." Shizuma replied. "We do."

Kira smiled, wiping away some of the tears that were now falling down her face. She had known Yuki for a very long time, and to hear that a family really wanted this little girl…

"Oh god…that's wonderful news. I think she will be very happy with you both. She has made so much progress with you guys and just…you have no idea how happy I am right now…you guys really want her…"

"How could we not?" Nagisa half giggled, her eyes, along with Shizuma's, filled with tears as well. "She is such a wonderful girl. She's beautiful and smart and kind…"

"And she has the biggest heart I have ever seen, even if she doesn't know it or see it yet." Shizuma added. "We really love her."

This was literally music to Kira's ears.

"My god yes she is special. I love her to death, too and I am so glad she would be going to a family that sees and loves her like that. When would you be looking to do this?"

"Well, we definitely need to talk to her about Sayuri, and plan to do so within the next week or so, depending on how she is. After that though, we should be good."

"Would you like me to draw up the paper work ahead of time so it will be ready when you are?"

The two women looked at each other again, clear and happy smiles on their faces.

"Yes." Shizuma replied. "Yes, please do."

* * *

**2:00p.m**

"_It's not your fault Yuki. None of this is your fault."_

A cool breeze brushed her cheek as she glanced down at the scenery below. As always, when she needed alone time to think, she found her way to the roof, and now there she was, curled up in some grey slacks and a white sweatshirt. Granted, it wasn't too cold outside, but the summer season had passed, the late November bringing fall and winter like weather. Today happened to be more fall like, though a heavy shower was due to hit that night. Luckily though, according to the weather, no thunder or lightening was supposed to accompany it.

"_And even if it did, they'd keep me safe…"_

Her mind traveled back to that stormy night not too long ago…the night when everything about her past had finally come out. She had never cried so much in her life. She thought her tears would never end, but the warmth that surrounded her from the two women had calmed them, and the sweet song Shizuma sang, one that Yuki now dubbed her lullaby, chased them away.

"_Clouds will race in…storms will rage in…but you will be safe in my arms…"_

She had never felt so safe in her life, and now, every day seemed to be filled with that safety net feeling. That was extremely comforting to the ten year old as ever since she shared her story, she felt vulnerable…as if every part of her heart and soul had been exposed. Well, really, it kind of was. She never wanted to tell anyone her story, and the longer she had kept it in, the heavier the burden grew. With it off her chest now, she felt…different. There were no more secrets, no more mysteries surrounding her rough childhood. At first, it felt kind of scary and she had been really worried that Shizuma and Nagisa would judge her for what she had done, but they didn't. All they gave her in return was warmth and love.

"_You have to remember though…there was nothing you could do. They said you did nothing wrong…that you were only trying to help…but…they…"_

She immediately quieted her thoughts, hiding her face in her arms as she brought her knees closer to her chest. She had learned to quickly shoot them down when they acted up like that as she was trying hard to realize that what was done was done and that it was not her fault. Part of her knew that was true, but she was still having a little trouble making herself believe.

"_Nagisa…Shizuma…_"

If anyone, they could help her out. They knew just how to make the bad feelings go away, so now whenever they hit, she found herself running to them and melting into their arms as her body took in every ounce of love they had to offer. It was scary really, how much she found she had to run to them. It was like her body and heart had trouble handling anything without a trip to their arms first. She couldn't even leave the house without getting a hug. She was worried it was a bad thing, but they hadn't complained about it yet. In fact, they seemed to welcome her knew found clinginess.

"_I can't help it…I just need them…I…"_

A single hand clutched at her chest, and moments after, she found herself slipping back through the window and into her room. Shutting it behind her, she headed for the door and flicked off the light as she left. She knew what she had wanted, and though she ignored this feeling many times in the past, she wouldn't now. She couldn't.

"Well there she is. I was just about to go up and get you."

Upon entering the living room, she found herself staring at Nagisa, the woman smiling back at the young child.

"It's just about ready, we're just-oh!"

Before Nagisa could finish her sentence, Yuki had found her way into the red heads arms and wrapped her own around her waist tightly, her hug gentle but firm. Nagisa, of course, hugged right back, her eyes closing as she wrapped the girl up.

"Aww, my baby. You ok?"

Yuki simply nodded, letting out a small sigh of relief. This was exactly what she needed and boy did it feel good.

"Mmm…your hugs are the best. You're the best, Yuki-chan."

A small blush crept up on her face when she heard this, but she kept hugging. She wanted to say something sweet back, and even opened her mouth to do so, but nothing came out. Her words were locked up and the hug continued on in silence. This was a common occurrence for the small girl for she often froze up when it came to saying sweet things like that. Yes, she had gotten over her fear of hugging and snuggling and even shared her history, but verbalizing her feelings in regards to how much she looked up to them and cared about them was a bump she had yet to get over. She felt guilty for not being able to return the kind and loving words, but it was just something she hadn't been able to bring herself to do yet. Something inside of her was still holding her back.

"_But…what?"_

"Ne…Nagisa is hogging all the Yuki hugs from me."

Peeking to the side, Yuki found Shizuma standing beside them with a fake little pout of sadness on her face. That sadness quickly turned into a smile though as Yuki, who hid her own little smirk, pulled back and slipped into Shizuma's arms, the woman hugging the child back happily.

"Hey little lady. Oh, how I love these hugs of yours."

Yuki hugged back a little tighter to show that she loved the hugs, too. Now she really felt good. She had gotten hugs from both of the people she really cared about and felt very safe, all the sad feelings she had felt on the roof disappearing the longer she was in their presence. It was definitely a feeling she couldn't get enough of.

After a few more minutes, the two pulled away, although Shizuma didn't let the warmth stop there.

"My Yuki-chan…" she said softly, stroking the girl's cheek. "You are simply wonderful and beautiful, you know that?"

Her blush got a little deeper when she heard this, her eyes falling to the ground as a happy feeling bubbled through her chest.

"_You're beautiful, too…_" she thought, wishing she could actually speak it. "_You both are._"

She lifted her eyes back up to look at them, but as she did, something in Shizuma's hand caught her eye. The woman saw where her gaze had headed and smiled, lifting up a filled blue cloth bag for Yuki to grab.

"Your bento for today. Excited to have some friend time?"

She had almost forgotten about that. Today she and Haru were going to have some lunch at the park. Kotaru and Mika were supposed to come as well, but Mika ended up having to go out of town with her parents and Kotaru was sick, so it would just be the two of them.

"Um…yeah." She replied, taking the food. "Thank you."

"You guys are going to meet at 2:30pm, right?" Nagisa asked.

"Mhm. I'll probably just head out now. I am going to meet her at her place and then we are going to head to the park together.

"Sounds wonderful!" Nagisa replied back. "So I guess we will see you when you return?"

Yuki nodded, but before she could leave, she fell back into their arms, hugging Nagisa first and then Shizuma right after.

"Aww…sweetie…"

Shizuma kissed the girl's head softly a few times before letting go.

"You have fun now, ok?"

She nodded.

"And be safe, too."

"I will."

And don't forget…we love you very much."

Yuki's heart froze when she heard these words come from Nagisa's mouth. One would think that after hearing that every day now, she would be used to it, but those words still made her heart freeze every time.

"_I…I…"_

"Thanks." She found herself saying, feeling stupid moments after. Definitely not what she wanted to say, but the word just came out. "Um…I'll be back then…later."

"See you later, little one." Shizuma said warmly. "Have fun."

And with that, Yuki left the house.

"_And don't forget, we love you very much."_

Those words echoed through her mind as she walked down the sidewalk. With each passing day, those words were coming out more and more, the sincerity behind them obvious and true, but her heart had trouble letting those words penetrate the last bit of ice that still surrounded it.

_"I know they're not lying…I know…but at the same time, can I finally…_"

In all honesty, it felt like she was standing at the edge of a cliff. She knew she had to jump, but if she did, would someone catch her?

"_Would they catch me?_"

Of course they would. Well, at least that's what her mind told her. Her heart knew it, too, but it was still a little afraid to fully let go, hence why she couldn't verbally return the warm feelings back.

"_What if I really let go and things get bad? What if I let go and the rug gets pulled out right from under me again?"_

She just didn't know. Being able to have absolutely no more fear would be nice though.

"_But…_"

With Haru's house being right down the street, it didn't take her long to get there. Upon arriving, she knocked at the door, a voice following seconds after.

"Come in."

Opening the door, she stepped inside, a familiar black haired woman there to greet her.

"Well hello, Yuki-chan. It's good to see you."

"Hello, Miyuki."

The woman then walked up and wrapped Yuki in her arms. Oh yes, not only was she getting hugs from Nagisa and Shizuma, but Miyuki and Tamao as well, the two women like family to her, too as their relationship grew every day.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm all right. A little tired, but ok."

"Nightmare's bugging again?"

"No, simply just tired. The nightmares haven't been back."

That had been another benefit of sharing her past. With her dark story finally out of her system, the nightmares had left, her dreams more pleasant and her sleep more peaceful than it had ever been.

"That's good. I'm glad to hear."

When they let go, Miyuki tucked a piece of silver hair behind Yuki's ear, smiling warmly as she did.

"Tamao is helping Haru get ready upstairs, so they should be down shortly."

"All right."

"How are Nagisa and Shizuma doing today?"

"They're well. At least they seem to be."

"How could they not be when they have you with them?"

Yuki felt some heat run into her face as she looked down at the floor.

"You make them very happy, and they love you, you know that?"

Yuki shuffled in place.

"Yeah…" she said softly. "It's just…"

"Just what?"

The girl shrugged.

"It's just different. All my life I believed there was only ever one person in the world who loved me."

Although she didn't go into extreme detail about it, she did sit down and tell Miyuki and Tamao a little bit about her past, emphasizing the fact that it was her Aunt who really cared.

"Well, now you have many that do, and very much so." The woman replied. It was a sad shame young Yuki had to go through life thinking only one loved her, and even thinking that she didn't deserve it as she grew up. However, now that she was with them, she and everyone else would keep reminding her of how much she was loved and never let her forget. Miyuki really wanted to make sure she knew, too as she was also aware of the fact that Yuki would soon hear the story of Sayuri and she knew about her friend's want to adopt the young child as well.

"Yuki-chan!"

Looking past Miyuki, she found both Haru and Tamao coming down the nearby stairs.

"You're here, you're here!"

A very excited Haru ran over and hugged her tight. You would think Yuki would be used to this by now, but Haru hugs still made her blush.

"H-hello." Yuki said back, her friend giving a nuzzle to her cheek before letting go.

"You ready?" her friend asked with excitement.

"Y-yes…"

"You two have fun now." Miyuki told them. "And be careful."

"We will!" Haru said back, instantly taking Yuki by the hand, Yuki just letting it happen. "We'll be back!"

"Wait! Haru…" Tamao said with a light giggle, reaching over to a nearby wooden stand and grabbing a bright yellow clothed bag. "You forgot your bento."

"Oh yeah…" Haru replied sheepishly, taking it with blush. "Thanks mom. We'll see you soon! Love you!"

"We love you, too." Miyuki said back, and with that, Haru pulled Yuki out by the hand and the two were soon out of sight.

* * *

**2:30p.m**

"I'm really glad that we can hang out today. It's too bad that Mika and Kotaru couldn't be here, but at least we can spend time! I'm also glad it's finally winter vacation, so now we can do this every day!"

Haru and Yuki had arrived at the park about ten minutes before, the two sitting at a nearby wooden bench. Haru was happily chatting while Yuki, who was barely picking at her rice, listened quietly, half distracted by her own thoughts.

"_You make them very happy, and they love you, you know that?_"

Miyuki's words had stuck with her.

"_Love me…they love me…they…_"

"Yuki-chan?"

The green eyed girl looked up, blushing a little when she saw the other staring back.

"S-sorry. I was listening."

"You all right?"

"Yeah…I'm just…"

Before she finished, she actually stopped herself, her feelings taking on a new direction as she stared at her friend.

"Yuki?"

"Actually…no. No, I'm not ok…"

Haru's brows furrowed a bit when she heard this.

"What's wrong?"

She wasn't planning on sharing her thoughts, but her heart suddenly changed, a different kind of yearning appearing. It was Haru with her after all, and if there was anyone out there who could possibly understand her feelings…

"Haru-chan…when did you know it was going to be ok?"

Haru was a little confused at this question, now knowing where it had come from.

"What do you mean?"

"When Tamao and Miyuki took you in, you said you were scared, right? When did you know that you didn't have to be scared anymore?"

Now she understood, and in hearing this question, her confused gaze softened, a warm smile now gracing her face.

"Yuki-chan…"

Getting up, she moved and sat next to her friend instead of in front of her.

"Are there still some things that scare you?"

Yuki nodded, shyly shuffling in place.

"I'm not as scared as I used to be. I mean, I can hug and snuggle and stuff, but when they give kisses, I can't give them back. I can't say nice things to them either. Like, they'll call me beautiful and special and say that I make them happy, but I can't say it back. They…they even say that they love me…"

And those few words she really had trouble letting out. Who knew that three little words could be so troublesome?

Haru giggled a little in reply, Yuki blushing even more in return.

"Ne…it's not funny…"

"No no…" she said gently. "I'm not laughing at you. I am more amused that we have so much in common. I used to have the same exact problem."

The ten year old looked up at the other, her own eyes filled with a small bit of hope that she wasn't alone in this matter.

"You…did?"

"Mhm. It's like this. Back then, whenever I wanted a hug, I wouldn't just go and give them one. Even though they always did it to me, I could never do it to them. I always thought it would be a burden or that they would get annoyed. So, I thought that asking if it was ok to hug them was a good idea, but in the end, I was too shy and scared to do that either. And saying I love you? Forget it. I could never bring myself to say something like that."

The image of a shy Haru was hard to imagine, but then again, in her mind, how could any foster kid not be shy?

"So…what made you not so scared?"

"Well, they ended up having to go away for a couple of days, so I stayed with Aunt Shizuma and Aunt Nagisa. During their time away, I really missed them. I mean, I missed them a lot. More than I expected. I even remember crying a few times because I wanted them home. And then I remember wishing that I had hugged them more and told them I loved them and everything else. When they did return, I clung to them like I had never done before, and without even trying, the words I love you and I miss you and I want a hug just came pouring out as if I had never had an issue saying them in the first place. It was like something had broken in me, and ever since then, I realized that there nothing to be scared of in the first place. There I was all afraid that bad things were going to happen or that they were going to get annoyed, but that's not what I got. The only thing that came from expressing my love was more love, and let me tell you, it's a beautiful feeling."

Yuki could feel her eyes glazing up, the girl having to look away to hide her tears.

"But weren't you worried that if you let yourself fully fall into everything they were giving you that something bad would happen? That they were just too good to be true?"

"All the time…"

Yuki looked back up at this.

"I worried about that all of the time, but as soon as I was in their arms and spoke those words, all of those feelings went away, and before I knew it, they were gone for good. I think that's what's going to happen to you. I think that once you tell them what you want to, you'll realize it's not so scary after all and find even more love coming your way."

"You…you really think so?"

"Yes, I really do. And if you still find yourself a little too scared, take it slow. Maybe give kiss one day, and maybe say something sweet the next day. I mean it, when you give in, it's seriously a wonderful thing."

Surprisingly, hearing these words brought comfort to her young heart and she found herself smiling back at the other, a new hope filling her chest.

"_Maybe saying things to them won't be so scary after all. Maybe I can do it. I can take it slow just like Haru said and just…"_

"Did that help a little?"

Yuki nodded.

"Yes…yes it did. Ne…Haru?"

Before the girl could say anything back, Yuki did something that even surprised herself. She had gotten into the habit of hugging Shizuma, Nagisa, Tamao, and Miyuki, but not once had she freely hugged the young female in front of her…that was until now…

"Y-Yuki-chan…"

Haru wasn't expecting this in the slightest, yet there she was, being hugged warmly by the girl who used to always push her away.

"Sometimes I forget how much you can relate to me. You really do make me feel a lot better about things. I'm still a little scared, but your words gave me courage. Thank you Haru-chan…I mean it…thank you…and please…please let's always be friends…"

Haru was in tears, moved by her words as she hugged the silver haired girl back. A clear smile was on her face though, and as she squeezed tighter, she whispered a promise into her ear that she knew she would keep for life.

"No thank needed. I love helping you out. We'll always be friends Yuki-chan and I will be here whenever you need someone. Always you and me…always…I promise."

* * *

**9:00p.m.**

_**"**__They say that when a child falls asleep with you, it means they feel safe."_

Her own mother's words echoed through her mind as the red head snuggled the sleeping Yuki. The girl had been watching tv in her and Shizuma's bedroom before dozing, and as the sleeping girl snuggled closer, Nagisa couldn't help but be touched.

"Ne…my little Yuki." She whispered, kissing the girl's head. "I hope your dreams are happy."

"You too look cute."

Peeking over at the doorway, she saw her other half standing by it, Shizuma winking at her before walking in on the other side of the child.

"Can you believe it?" Nagisa asked. "Almost nine months ago this little one came into our lives. Remember how she couldn't stand snuggling and hugging?"

Shizuma smirked, gently running her fingers through Yuki's hair.

"How can I forget? She used to yell at us all the time. Now look at her. She clings, and I love it. She's a good kid…a really good kid. I…"

"Hmm?"

"Well, it's about what we spoke of last night, and what we spoke of this morning with Kira. I guess I'm just a little nervous…"

Pink eyes locked on with those of her lovers, a smile appearing on her face.

"I am a little nervous, too, but I know it's going to be wonderful. Are you having second thoughts?"

"Oh no, no not at all! I love her so much and I want to keep her, I just worry I won't do a good job."

Although Shizuma was very much over the fact that Sayuri's death was her fault, a small part of her was still scared.

"I don't want to fail her."

"Honey…you won't…" Nagisa said gently. "You are, and will always be, a great mother."

Shizuma blushed a little when she heard this.

"Are you sure? I just worry…what if I-"

"Shhh…"

Mid-conversation, Yuki slowly began to move, stretching and yawning a bit. After a few moments, lids slowly opened, green orbs scanning their surroundings before looking up at the two women beside her.

"Hey there, sleepy head." Nagisa said softly.

"Murr…"

Stretching again, she sat up a little, only to flop right back down on the pillows again.

"Aww…you're just too cute!"

A very excited Nagisa glomped the young girl, wrapping her in her arms again and snuggling her to bits. This, in turn, fully awoke the Yuki.

"N-nyaa! N-Nagisa…I can't breathe…"

Shizuma snickered at this comment as Nagisa pulled back a bit, a meek look on her face.

"Sorry, I just couldn't help myself, you know?"

"And how could she?"

This question came from Shizuma, who now to her turn to squeeze the girl.

"Ne…Shizuma…why don't you want be to breathe either…"

The woman actually laughed out loud at this, kissing her cheek before finally letting go. Yuki just returned to flopping on the pillows, blushing a little to all the love she had literally woken up to. And that love wasn't stopping any time soon, for as soon as she flopped back onto the pillows, the two women curled right up and continued their snuggling session. Instead of squeezing the life out of her though, Nagisa just nuzzled her cheek and Shizuma began humming her lullaby.

"_My song…_" she thought, listening to it with a smile. It was extremely comforting. "_I love it when she hums or sings it…I love it when they snuggle me like this…I love…them…_"

Her eyes, which she had shut, opened again at this thought, her mind falling back to the conversation her and Haru had that day.

"_I think that once you tell them what you want to, you'll realize it's not so scary after all and find even more love coming your way."_

Yuki's heart jumped a little.

"_Tell them what I want to…but…I can't…it won't come out…_"

Even thinking about saying I love you to them in this moment caused her heart to panic slightly. She really did feel bad that she was too scared to say it yet, but at the same time, she just wasn't ready.

"_But then…Haru said that if I was still scared, I could take it slow. Maybe give them…kisses?"_

She looked up at Shizuma, who had her eyes closed while still humming.

"_Kisses…like they give me kisses. That wouldn't be too bad right? It's just like hugging and snuggling. I don't have to say anything, I just have to do. And if snuggling and hugging isn't bad…then this wouldn't be either…this would be…_"

And suddenly, the idea didn't seem so scary anymore. It was affection just like the hugs she gave, so it couldn't be that bad.

"_And if it's not that bad then…I…_"

And before she knew it, she leaned in and gave a light little kiss on Shizuma's cheek. The other was not expecting this and snapped her eyes right open, a hint of shock in her gaze. That shock quickly turned to warmth, a smile accompanying it.

"Yuki…"

Without saying a word, Yuki turned to the other side and did the same to Nagisa, the woman sporting the same shocked yet warm glance as her wife.

"Aww…Yuki kisses…"

Yuki blushed when she heard this and half hid her face in the pillows. Her shyness kicked right back in, but as always, Shizuma and Nagisa were there to calm it right down.

"Aww, it's ok baby." Shizuma said warmly. "We loved our Yuki kisses!"

"We did!" Nagisa said back. "They were wonderful! Come here you."

Being playful, she placed little kisses all over Yuki's face, Shizuma joining in as well until all three were giggling.

"Ok ok! I get it I get it!" Yuki told them, laughing from their little attack. A few moments after that, they stopped, pulling her right back into their arms.

"Thank you, Yuki-chan." Nagisa told her. "That was a wonderful little kiss."

"_They liked it…they liked it…"_

"It was! Those kisses made us very happy!" Shizuma added.

"_I made them happy…that little bit of affection made them happy…"_

"We love you…" Nagisa whispered. "So much baby."

"_I love you, too…I love you…_"

"Oh yes we love you." Shizuma said. "And we are going to love you forever."

"_Forever…I am going to love you forever, too. I-…wait…forever?"_

That one word seemed to make her whole world stop. She even had to pull away and sit up.

"Yuki, are you all right?" Shizuma asked.

"Y-yeah…I just…you said forever…"

The two at up with her, Nagisa reaching out to stroke her hair.

"I did say forever." Shizuma answered. "I meant that of course. We will love you forever."

Hearing it made her heart jump again. Loving her forever? That was impossible. They couldn't love her forever, especially if she was going to be leaving after Christmas, which was very soon.

"_Unless they keep you…_"

Her world froze up again as that single thought ran through her mind. To her, that would be the only way they would love her forever.

"_Keep me? But…that's impossible…they wouldn't want to…or…would they?"_

The thought really never occurred to her as she never saw herself ever getting adopted. This family, however, was not like the others she had…not like her old one either. This family was different. They already treated her as if she belonged to them.

"Yuki?"

She looked back at the two of them, her mind on over drive.

"Forever….forever is a very long time…"

"We know…" Nagisa said back softly. "And that is how long we will love you. Now and forever, and even after that…"

"_Now and forever…and even after that…_"

That was definitely a very long time. Did they mean that?

"_They will love me that long? And they love me that much? What if…what if they do want to keep me? No way…that's way too good to be true…but then…they have never lied to me before. If they say they are going to love me forever, then they mean it, which means…could I possibly get adopted?"_

Her heart started to fly at the thought. Adopted? Her? Was there even a chance? Could she really get lucky enough to find a forever family in Shizuma and Nagisa? She would die of happiness if that were true. Was she that lucky?

"Do you mean it…forever?"

"Of course, love." Shizuma replied. "Forever."

"_They mean it….they really mean it. My god, what is this feeling? Me? Forever? Can they really be mine? I don't know…I need to think…"_

Her heart and mind were just too all over the place. The thought of them wanting to adopt her really did seem too good, but at the same time…

"Yuki, you all right?"

"U-uh…yeah. I'm just…tired. I think I am going to go to bed."

"You sure?" Nagisa asked.

"Yeah…"

"All right." Nagisa replied back. "You sleep well then, ok?"

Yuki nodded as she crawled out of the bed.

"I will…thanks…night…"

She turned to walk out, but before she could reach the door, she froze again, looking back at the other two once more.

"_They said forever…and they don't lie, so when they say it, they mean it. Maybe…for once, you shouldn't doubt…maybe you can get excited about this…maybe you should show them…"_

"Nagisa…Shizuma…"

"Yes?"

A small smile appeared on her face.

"Forever…it really is a very long time…I think I'd like forever with you…"

If only she knew how much those words meant to them…

"Oh baby…" Nagisa said, her eyes nearly tearing up. "We would like forever with you, too."

Yuki's smile grew. Maybe for once, life would be ok.

"I'd like that…good night…"

"Good night love…"

And with that, she left the room. However, instead of going straight to her room, she headed down to the kitchen, passing through the living room and into the kitchen for some water.

"_This might just be ok…They said they want to love me forever…and they looked so happy when I said I would like forever with them, too._" she thought as she grabbed a bottle from the fridge. Her heart felt light and happy, things she had not felt in a very long time, so long it felt new to her. Family? Could that really be possible for her?

_"If they want to love me forever, and they say that they would like forever with me, too…then that might mean they do want to keep me…" _she thought as she passed back through the living room. "_I mean…they call me their Yuki…they always love on me…everyone tells me that they love me…then they add in forever...family…I could have a family…I could-"_

"Ouch!"

While making her way through the dark living room, she accidently bumped into one of the small cabinets by the couch.

"Damn it…"

Reaching over, she turned on a nearby lamp.

"Stupid thing…"

In hitting it, she caused the door to open. She knelt down to shut it, but as she did, something inside caught her eye.

"_What's this?_"

Reaching in, she pulled out a pink album that contained a familiar picture of a girl on the front.

"_Hey, I have seen this before. This is the picture Nagisa had in her purse."_

Curious, she opened it up.

"_Weird though…why would have an album of her? Haru said the picture was just of their niece that they hardly spoke of."_

As she flipped through the first page, she saw a small birth certificate.

"_What the…now this is weird. Why would they have their niece's birth certificate? What, did they-"_

Seconds after she glanced at it, her mind came to a complete halt, eyes widening as she read through the official document.

"Sayuri…Sayuri Hanazono. Born to…."

Now it was her heart that stopped, her whole world suddenly darkening slightly as her mind began to process what she was seeing.

"This girl…no way…that's impossible…"

But her gut instinct…and the information she was seeing in front of her was telling her otherwise.

"_Or is it possible…Sayuri Hanazono…she looks just like Nagisa, but not because she is her niece…not…she looks like her because she is…_"

"Her daughter…"

A small sharp little pain ran through her heart as that world slipped out of her mouth in a quiet whisper. Shizuma and Nagisa had a daughter? How is that even possible? She never saw this girl…they never even mentioned anything about her.

"_This has to be a mistake…this has to be…_" But as she flipped through the pages, she learned it was true. She saw nothing but pictures of the three of them together as the little red headed girl grew up.

"_Happy…they look so happy…if they had a daughter, why didn't they tell me? Why don't I see her? Are they ashamed? Am I not good enough to meet her?"_

Her heart actually broke a little as she thought this. Them having a daughter was a critical piece of information, so why did they keep it from her? They claimed to love her and everything, but they wouldn't tell her this?

"_If she is there daughter, then where is she? Why isn't she around? Why-"_

Her thoughts stopped again as she skipped to the end of the album, spotting another piece of formal looking paper on the very last page. This paper had a black and white photo of the little girl, a black ribbon tied through a whole through the corner, and a small little excerpt underneath.

"_Our little girl is with the angels now, but she will never be forgotten. Her smile could brighten any day and now she can brighten heaven with it. To our beautiful, loving, sweet little baby girl…our little Sayuri…we will love you forever and even after that. May you rest in peace."_

Leaning back against the cabinet, Yuki looked up from the album with tears in her eyes, her heart even heavier.

"_She…died? But…how? And why don't I know? I've been here for so long…why didn't they tell me about her?"_

Looking back down, she re-read the words, this time out loud, but in a whisper.

"To our beautiful, loving, sweet little baby girl…our little Sayuri…we will love you forever and even after that, May you rest in peace."

"_You see…you see it? Those words they spoke were never meant for you. They were meant for her…_"

A little voice in the back of her head spoke this message, making her heart clench at the thought.

"_That's right…they just said these words to me…they called me their little Yuki…they said that they would love me forever and even after that…but were they thinking of her when they said that to me?"_

No. They couldn't have. She knew that they loved her for her. They never lied about those things.

"_Then why didn't they tell you? You saw the pictures. They really loved Sayuri. How could they love another little girl when they loved their own daughter that much._"

"No…" she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "No…no that's not true…they love me…they love me…"

"_They don't…they told you nothing. They never even hinted of having another little girl._"

"They didn't tell me…why not?"

"_Because you aren't good enough…you're not like her. They don't love you as much as they love their own flesh and blood. When they look at you they think of her, so when they say they love you…"_

"They say they love her…"

A small cry escaped her chest, her hand now upon it as doubt continued whispering dark words into her mind. It hurt so much. She tried bringing back the feelings she had before she came down those stairs, tried bringing back the warmth, but she couldn't do it. It was gone. They had lied. They never shared their most important information with her.

"_Because I am not good enough. I was never good enough. They don't love me for me. They don't love me at all…I'm so stupid….I let everything go and tell them everything and actually think they want to adopt me, but it isn't true…they don't want me…they want her….I'm just so stupid…stupid stupid stupid!"_

Her tears came out a little harder, her heart literally snapping in two. For once she thought she was really happy…that her life was going to be good, but as usual, she was wrong. As usual, for her, there was no such thing as family.

"_They have a daughter…they have a daughter…they don't have any room for me if they still love her…you have to go….you have to go…_"

Without a second thought, she ran for the door, slipping on her shoes. Quietly, she opened it, seeing now that the heavy rain that was due to come was now hitting them. It was pouring, the winds not pleasant either, and she was in nothing but her pajama pants and a light sweatshirt.

"_Who cares? You have to run. They don't want to love you…only her…you have to run._"

Looking back, she gazed around the house…the one place she had finally let herself call home. Any good feeling she had was now gone. She was stupid to believe that love was meant for her.

"No…there was only one person who ever loved me…"

And she was gone, too. She had nothing. There was nothing left, nowhere to go, nowhere to run. She didn't want anybody. She didn't want to love or be loved anymore. She was done, and with that in mind, she stepped outside and let the darkness swallow her whole.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I so apologize for the wait x.x I am having wisdom teeth issues and lucky me gets to go into surgery in 11 days to have them removed. -insert fake woohoo- Here it is though! Thanks so much for the reviews, I love them and am so glad you love the story! I appreciate the time you take to read it :) and to the reader cherryblossom, it won't let me reply to yours, but I really love your reviews! I am so happy you love it that much! Email me if you wish to speak of it more! Other readers feel free to email too :) Thank you again and hope you enjoy!**

Chapter Nine: Realization

When Yuki had left the room for the night, the two women snuggled up under the blankets together, passing out not long after that. They fell into a happy sleep, comforted by each other and by the thought of the little girl. However, sometime during the night, the silver haired female awoke, a strange feeling pulling at her chest. Not understanding it, she attempted to fall back asleep, but it did not work. After multiple tries, she sat up, her mind now racing, irritability taking over in wondering why she just couldn't get back to sleep.

"It's not normal for you to toss and turn like that."

Shizuma, who had been leaning back against the headboard, looked down at her wife, who had reached over to flick on a lamp.

"I'm sorry…did I wake you?"

She merely shook her head.

"No, I've been awake. I wasn't going to fall back asleep until I knew you were, but it seems you are not. Usually you are impossible to wake up."

The red head slid over and rested her head on Shizuma's lap, yawning a little. This got the slightly annoyed female to smile a bit, a hand coming up to run through Nagisa's soft locks.

"I'm not quite sure what's wrong…something's nagging at me, but I don't know what."

"Hmmm…is it about what we were speaking of before Yuki woke?"

That small bit of conversation flashed through her mind. She had been thinking about that lot lately…not bad thoughts, but a mix of happy and worrisome ones. Was it really bugging at her mind so much that is was subconsciously affecting her as well?

"Well, I have been thinking about that. You know I have my worries, but I don't think it worries me enough to keep me from sleeping."

Nuzzling into her stomach a little, Nagisa let out a light sigh.

"In regards to that, why does it worry you?"

Shizuma thought about this for a moment, trying to figure out how to word it all.

"I guess…it's still that same worry about be not being good enough. I mean, sure, progress has been made, but what if I screw up? I don't want to ruin things. You seem so much better at it and just….sometimes, I really don't feel like I am a very good…mother…"

Nagisa looked up at her wife from where she was laying, sadness in her usually brightly lit pink eyes.

"Shizuma…you are a great mother."

"Am I?"

Nagisa now sat up, a concerned look on her face.

"Why don't you think you're good?"

Shizuma didn't answer this question verbally, but the look in her eye gave it away.

"Shizuma…you don't still blame yourself for Sayuri, do you?"

The woman let out a little sigh, her head falling back against the headboard.

"No…No I don't. I know it wasn't my fault. I just…she's had such a rough life. What if I make things worse? What if I mess up somewhere and make her unhappy? I love her so much, Nagisa…"

"I do, too." Her wife said back. "Very much so. And sometimes I have that worry, too. And do you know what helps me?"

"What?"

"Her smile…"

Shizuma locked gazes with the other, her green eyes slightly sad and confused.

"Her…smile?"

"Mhm." Nagisa said, smiling herself. "Whenever I see her smile…whenever I see her laugh…every time she hugs me or snuggles up…anytime I see those things, it makes me forget all of my worries in an instant. Look at how she was before…and look at her now. Every smile, hug, and snuggle tells me she is happy, and let me tell you, it's not just because of me."

Shizuma blushed a little, now smiling slightly herself as tears formed in her eyes.

"She really is happy…isn't she…"

Nagisa nodded, tears forming in her eyes as well.

"Yes…even in going through a rough time as she is, she is still happy…with both of us. She wouldn't stay so close if she wasn't. She comes to us for comfort and love…you're an amazing mother Shizuma. You help keep those smiles. You do your best to be there and keep her happy."

"As do you."

"We both do…you have the biggest heart I have ever seen Shizuma, and you are, and will always be, a wonderful mother."

This caused the woman to smile even more, her tears falling freely down her cheeks as she embraced her other half tightly

"Thank you, Nagisa…" she whispered, the woman nuzzling her face into the red locks. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I would do without you."

"And I don't know what I would do without you." The woman said back.

After a few moments, they pulled away, a clear smile still on both of their faces.

"It's just…I love that girl so much." Shizuma told her. "I really love her and I just want her happy. She's such an amazing kid…I could never dream of sending her away…"

"And we won't have to." Nagisa replied. "She'll be ours. She'll be our little girl."

"_Our little girl__…_" she whispered, loving the idea. "You know what…let's not wait…"

"Hmm?"

"About telling her of Sayuri. Let's not wait any longer. I really want to make her ours, and she knows we love her. If we sit her down and talk to her about it, I think she will be ok."

Nagisa thought about this for a moment. They had both been worried about Yuki's reaction, but Shizuma was right. The girl did know she was loved.

"You really think she will be ok with it?"

"Yes." Shizuma replied, confidence in her voice. "I think she will."

The other smiled at this, nodding.

"All right then. Tomorrow morning after breakfast, we will sit her down and tell her together."

"And then tell her about the adoption, too."

"Yes." Nagisa replied with a giggle. "We'll tell her about that, too."

They went right back to snuggling after this, their chests on fire with warmth. They would both have a little girl and were more than excited to tell young Yuki the news.

"Our daughter…" Shizuma said softly, her wife squeezing her tightly when she said it. Yep. Yuki would be theirs.

For a good while they sat like that until Shizuma found herself yawning.

"Finally getting sleepy?" Nagisa asked.

"Yeah, finally. I need it, but I going to get a drink real quick first. You know I love you, right?"

Nagisa simply turned her head, her own lips meeting Shizuma's in reply.

"It's something I will never forget. Now go on, I'll actually join you in a moment. I could use a drink, too."

After one last kiss, Nagisa slipped out of the way to let Shizuma off. Leaving the room, she headed downstairs, her mind running through different but happy thoughts. However, half way down, she noticed a light was on in the living room.

"Weird, I could have sworn I turned that off."

Shrugging it off, she walked towards it, but stopped when she got closer, her brows furrowing as she looked down.

"What the…"

"Everything ok?"

Nagisa was just slipping on her robe as she made her way down, eyeing what Shizuma was picking up.

"What is that?"

"It's….it's Sayuri's album…" she told her, her brows as she looked through the pages. "It was on the floor opened. Were you looking at it?"

"I wasn't." Nagisa replied. "You weren't?"

"No…I haven't in a few months...From the way it was stacked it couldn't have fallen out on its own…and when I came down stairs this light was on…and…

"_Oh no…"_

It was in that moment that the nagging feeling she had been having….that sinking feeling that had been sitting in her stomach…grew. Looking up at Nagisa, there was a small amount of fear in her eyes.

"You don't think…"

Nagisa now showed some fear as well, both women now thinking the same thought. If Yuki had seen this before the two could explain it to her, then she…

Before that thought could finish, the two ran up the stairs, racing towards the little girl's room as fast as they could.

"Yuki!"

Nothing. When they opened the door, the found the room completely empty. While Nagisa jutted back downstairs to look around, Shizuma continued through the rest of the upstairs rooms, only to find emptiness.

"Shizuma!"

With a silent hope that her wife found the girl, she ran back downstairs. However, her hopes were diminished with the next few words.

"Shizuma…" she said, clear panic in her voice. "Her shoes…they're gone…"

The red head opened the front door and stepped outside, Shizuma joining her seconds after. The rain had lightened up to a drizzle and the thunder and lightning had ceased, but nothing but darkness still surrounded the area.

"I'm going to call Kira, Miyuki, and Tamao." Nagisa told her, walking back in. "She couldn't have gone far."

"Nagisa, her bed wasn't even touched…she never went back to her room…she's been gone for hours…"

"We'll find her…."

As Nagisa went to make her phone calls, Shizuma just stood there, unable to move as panic filled her entire body. She was just a little girl….a little girl in this weather lost in a city she had barely even been around by herself…anything could happen to her…she could lose her…she could lose…

"Dammit, Shizuma…" she muttered to herself, tears filling her eyes. "Dammit, dammit….Yuki!"

* * *

Within the hour, the search for Yuki began. Miyuki and Kira looked around their own town while Nagisa, Tamao, and Chiyo went to the next town over. Shizuma remained at the house just in case the child returned.

"_Please let her be ok. Please…"_ She thought as she paced around the living room. "_Just please. I don't want to lose another daughter…_"

She wouldn't be able to handle it if she did.

"_I'll do anything, just please…let her be safe…let us find her…let us-"_

-_**Click**_-

Her head spun quickly at the door.

"Yuki?"

But…it wasn't. It was Kira and Miyuki returning from their search. Her green eyes looked at them, her gaze begging for good news, but none came, Miyuki only shaking her head.

"Oh god…"

Shizuma sat on the couch, her face buried in her hands as tears burned in the back of her eyes.

"It's going to be ok." Miyuki said softly, trying to comfort her. "We're going to find her."

"What if we don't? What of something happened to her?"

"Nothing happened to her." Kira told her, trying to add her comfort, too. "She's going to be all right."

Shizuma sat up a little and tried wiping some of her tears away, though it was very hard just to keep them from coming. She missed that girl so much.

"This is all my fault…"

"No, Shizuma." Miyuki said. "This is no one's fault."

"We should have told her sooner."

"You were trying to wait until she was more comfortable around you guys." Kira replied. "You wanted to make sure she knew she was loved."

"Which apparently didn't happen because she ran."

"I don't think that's the case." Miyuki said back. "She knows you both love her. I know she knows."

"Then why did she run?"

Miyuki couldn't answer that question. Though she believed that Yuki knew, she was unsure of why she ran, too.

"See? I was doing a terrible job."

"No you were not."

Kira came over and sat beside her.

"You were doing a wonderful job. Listen, I have known that girl for a very long time, and I know how she thinks. When things get too good, she gets scared and worries more than usual. When things get too good, she thinks something bad is going to happen because nothing can ever be that good for her. She is wrong, but that is how she thinks. She doesn't trust things that seem perfect. You and Nagisa are perfect for her, and she knows that, which is probably why she took off instead of coming to you after seeing the book. No matter how much she knows she is loved, a part of her is still scared to really trust that, so she took finding that book as a bad sign and started thinking the worse of the situation. You know how she over thinks things. To be honest, she is probably confused at this moment because while her old self is telling her to stay away, the part that knows she is loved is telling her to come back, but then she is also probably thinking she messed up to much to come back. Trust me. I really know how she thinks. From what you have told me over the last nine months, she knows she is loved and she loves you."

Shizuma looked up, her eyes full of a little hope.

"You really think so?"

"I do." Kira replied.

"And I do as well." Miyuki added. "I have seen how she is around you. I have seen how happy she gets. When I spoke to her today, I reminded her of how much you guys loved her and she said she knew. She mentioned it was different because she always thought that there was only one person in the whole world who loved her, but she knew that all changed…that you two loved her, too."

"Wait…what did you say?"

Miyuki looked up at Kira, the woman staring with furrowed brows back.

"I told her she was loved."

"No no, what were the words she said to you?"

"Oh…she mentioned that she knew she was loved by Nagisa and Shizuma, but it was just different because she always thought that there was only one person in the whole world who loved her."

"Holy jeeze…of course…"

"What?" Shizuma asked.

"I don't know why I didn't think of this before…" Kira continued, standing up.

"What are you talking about?" Shizuma asked again.

"Yuki. I know where she is."

"You do? Where?"

"Miyuki, come with me. I am not one hundred percent positive, but I am pretty damn well sure. Shizuma, I'll call you if we find her."

"Wh-what? Ok…"

"Let's go."

And before Miyuki could get another word out to her friend, Kira pulled her out of the door and they were off.

* * *

She was soaked, the cold wind stinging her already frozen skin, and she couldn't stop shaking. It felt like her entire body inside and out had become numb. Thankfully, the rain and slowed down, a mere drizzle now falling upon her.

Looking up at the sky, darkness still enveloped it, the night swallowing her whole. The only source of light came from a dim lamppost nearby. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there for…an hour, maybe more? She wasn't sure…and really, she didn't care. She felt broken, her heart full of a pain and confusion she couldn't shake off. She desperately wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't.

"_Shizuma…Nagisa…_"

She closed her eyes for a moment, leaning back against the cold stone slab behind her, and willed herself to forget everything that had happened the last nine months. She just wanted it all to go away so it didn't hurt anymore.

"_Please…please…_"

Opening her eyes again, she wiped her face free of the salty tears that kept escaping. She just needed to forget. Forget the love, forget the hope, forget the warmth…

"_If they were here, they would keep you warm. If they were here, they'd make all the pain go away…_"

She winced at the thought, quickly pushing it aside.

"_No they wouldn't. When they look at me, they see her. When they call me their baby, they're thinking of her. When they call me their little girl, they're thinking of her. They don't see me…they never have. A daughter…why didn't they ever tell me?"_

That question had rolled around in her mind a thousand times that night. She just didn't understand it. She couldn't believe that after all that time with them, they never once brought it up to her.

"_Probably because I am not good enough. Probably because she was better. They loved her more…I know it. She was their daughter. I bet she didn't give them as many problems as I did."_

Her heart clenched more at the thought, and while those words played through her mind, another set tried to play over them. While her old self panicked, causing her to fall into her old ways, her new self tried to break through, fighting hard against the darkened thoughts.

"_You're wrong. Don't believe your worries and fears. They do love you, you know that. Maybe they were waiting for the right moment to tell you. They've never lied to you before. There was probably a good reason why they didn't tell you anything yet. Just go back. Run back home._"

"I…I can't." she whispered. "They probably hate me now for all this trouble. They love her…they didn't love me…not me…not…"

She kept repeating these words over and over, but no matter how many times they came out, her heart continued to try and tell her otherwise.

"They don't love me…they don't…but then…"

"_My Yuki-chan!"_

"No…stop!"

"_Aww…come here baby…_"

"Stop it…I don't want to remember!"

"_Castles they might crumble, dreams may not come true, but you are never all alone cause I will always, always love you…_"

"Stop!"

Her hands came up to cover her ears as if they would stop Shizuma's warm voice from singing her lullaby in her mind.

"_Please…I don't know what to do…_"

She brought her hands down and shifted herself to face the object in front of her, more tears falling all over again.

"You'd know what to do…you always knew…"

Reaching out, she traced her fingers over the words "Kagura Himeko", the name engraved on the gravestone that the girl greeted like an old friend.

"Aunt Kagura…I wish you were here. I miss you…you were the only person who ever loved me."

"_But you have many who love you now."_

Miyuki's words came out of nowhere, causing her heart to break even more. She missed her. She missed them all. She really missed Shizuma and Nagisa.

"_But…I can't go back. I can't…_"

She curled up closer to the stone, her head resting on the wet cement.

"_I can't…it's not me they want…it's her…they don't love me…they don't…_"

She had to convince herself of that.

"_They don't…but then…if they didn't…then why do they…why do…Aunt Kagura…I need you…help me…_"

She closed her eyes, her shivering self falling deeper and deeper into the pain.

"_I'm so alone…please…help…_"

"Yuki?"

The sound of her name being called stirred her slightly. Was she imagining things? She must have been.

"Yuki?"

Her eyes opened, her head turning slightly towards the sound.

"_What is that?"_

"Yuki! I see her! Yuki!"

Sitting up a little more, she found two familiar figures running towards her.

"_Wait…Kira? Miyuki?"_

She thought she was seeing things, but it was really them, both running towards her in a fast pace.

"_Kira…Miyuki…they found me...they…_"

It was then she snapped back to her senses a bit more. She had been found, which also made her realize she would be brought back to the place she ran from.

"_No…no, you can't go back. They don't love you, remember? They love her…not you…not..._"

"Yuki!"

They were closing in on her, and now that panic had set in, she pushed herself up. Her body was achy and tired, but she had to run…she had to go. However, due to her slight weakness and slow reaction time, she didn't move quickly enough for just as she was about to run, Kira got a hold of her and held her tight.

"Yuki, wait-"

"Let go!"

"Yuki please, calm down!"

"Let go of me!"

"Yuki!" Miyuki called. "Please listen to what we have to say!"

She was relieved that they had found her, but wished the girl wouldn't put up a fight. Looking down at what the child had been sitting by, she understood why Kira knew Yuki would be in this cemetery.

"_I used to think that there was only one person in this world who loved me._"

"Kagura Himeko…" she read out loud.

"Yuki please!"

"No!"

"Just listen!"

"Why should I?"

Yuki finally got free, but instead of running, she turned and faced the two women, her anger taking over her instinct to disappear.

"Yuki…" Kira said softly.

"Shut up! Why should I listen to you? This is all your fault anyways. You shouldn't have placed me with them in the first place!"

The three of them were silent for that moment, all the pain she had felt turning into anger.

"Yuki-"

"No! You have no right to say anything to me! You made me believe that I would be wanted there, and they made me believe it, too! They said that they loved me, but they lied! They even kept an incredibly important secret from me and not once took the time to tell me! How could they not tell me they had another child?!"

"They were going to tell you…"

"They weren't!"

"They were." Kira said again. "They were going to tell you soon."

"Stop lying! You're only telling me that to get me to come back. They were never going to tell me! They were never going to share it because I wasn't good enough to know! And now that I do know, I understand it all! They don't love me, they love her! When they see me, they see her! She's their baby! She's their little girl! Not me!"

"That's not true." Kira pleaded. "Please just-"

"It's true! It is!"

Her heart was breaking all over the place.

"It's true…it's all true. They make her happy. Not me. She should have never died…they should have never lost her because she is what truly makes them happy, and they deserve to be happy! They deserve it so much that I wish I were dead and that she was alive so they could feel that way and-"

_**-Smack-**_

Yuki's words were silenced, a sound echoing through the empty cemetery. As the sound came, her head shot sideways, soon followed by a sting on her cheek.

"Mi-Miyuki…" Kira said with a bit of shock.

Placing her hand on her now warm cheek, Yuki looked up to find a very angry Miyuki staring back.

"Baka…" she hissed. "Don't you ever say that again. I loved Sayuri, too and yes, I wish she was here, but I love you just as much and so do they. You make them and everyone just as happy, too. Don't you ever wish yourself dead again, do you understand me?"

Yuki made no reply, a look of anger mixed with shock on her face.

"How dare you say those things after all they have done for you? How could you? They took you in…they gave you a home…they made you part of their family…"

"But I'm not part of-"

"Don't you even think about finishing that sentence!" she snapped. "Stop talking and listen. They have done everything they could possibly think of to make you feel home…to make you feel safe and loved. Not because they had to, but because they wanted to. You want to know why they didn't tell you about Sayuri from the start? Because they wanted you to get comfortable with them first. They wanted you to truly understand how much they loved you to keep you from thinking all the things you are now…to keep you from thinking they loved her more or care and thought only about her. Are you really going to forget everything they have done and disregard the lengths they went through to show you how much you are loved by thinking the way you are at this very moment?"

At these words, guilt suddenly took over. She did think she was loved less and they they really cared about Sayuri and not her, but after everything they had done for her, did she really have a right to believe that?

"_I thought it…but I didn't have to believe it, didn't I…they did go out of their way to make me feel loved…and this is how I repay them? What have I done?"_

She messed up. She really messed up.

"B-but…even if that is true…look at the mess I made…they don't want me in their lives now so-"

"You're wrong again." Miyuki didn't let her finish that sentence. "The only thing they want is you home. They are out there searching for you right now."

"Wait…th-they are?"

"Yes…they miss you. They're not even mad. They just want you back and safe so they can explain everything to you."

"But…how could they not be mad? That doesn't make sense…"

"Yuki…"

Miyuki sighed, kneeling down to Yuki's height. Reaching out, she firmly grabbed her by the arms, her dark colored gaze locked with the green ones.

"They're not mad because they understand your fears and love you. They want to help you to not be afraid. Yes Yuki, they do love Sayuri and miss her, too, but that doesn't mean they love you any less. They love both of their daughters just the same.

"D-daughters? I am not their-"

"Daughter? Really? Yuki, you are their child."

"No…I couldn't be…I was leaving them after Christmas."

"Are you sure? Do you really think, after how close they had gotten to you, that they were really going to let you go?"

Her eyes widened when she heard this, her gaze rising to meet Kira's for confirmation.

"It's true." Kira replied gently. "They had plans for adoption form the start, and over the last nine months they have been talking to me of your progress and of how happy you make them."

"They…they have?"

"Yes…I mean it."

"They have fallen for you. "Miyuki continued. "And they wanted you from the start no matter how hard it was going to be. They just wanted you to really get comfortable with them and to trust them before telling you anything. They love you Yuki…so much. I love you, Kira loves you, everyone does. You make us so happy, and I know you are happy, too. I have seen you around them."

She was happy around everyone, especially Nagisa and Shizuma. They made her feel like she was on top of the world.

"We all miss you and want you home, so please Yuki…please come back."

Yuki was shocked at everything being said. She was loved? Really loved? And they loved her and Sayuri just the same? They loved her like a daughter? They wanted to keep her?

"I…I…I-"

As she was about to reply, something strange began to happen. Dizziness took over and she suddenly didn't feel right.

"Miyuki…"

"Yuki…" the woman replied, concern now in her voice. "Are you okay?"

Yuki staggered forward in reply, her body now feeling weak. Miyuki half caught her and, in fully seeing the state the child was in…so wet and cold…she placed her hand on her forehead.

"Kira! She's burning up!"

The voices then began to fade slightly, her vision going as she felt weaker and weaker.

"Yuki…Yuki!"

She tried to hold on, but as she looked up to see Miyuki, her entire world went black.


End file.
